Married Kiwis! How's that going? - Married life is strange, innit?

Kari Kamiya said:
I love hearing marriage stories as a hopeless romantic, gives me the fuzzy-wuzzies I don't have and probably never will. :heart-full: I have a lot of questions I guess, but to the married Kiwis, was the moment where you knew your SO was the one a big lightning bolt one or the quiet ninja-sneak one?
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The one?

Nah dude. It wasn't a moment. Don't base life decisions on a moment, they're over before they begin.

It's not like that. It's like how you make a "best friend". You don't spot someone and be like "Oh yeah, that's the person who i'm going to share a ton of interest with and like to hang out with!" You hang out with a bunch of people and notice you like some of them better than others.

How did I know my wife was "the one?" Well, we had been together for a few years and still wanted to be together. She said "We should get married", and it obviously meant something to her, so we did. Still going good, so I guess it was a good decision. Plus I guess we save some money on taxes. She continues to have to clean up after the name change though, seems like a pain in the ass.

Too many people see dating and marriage as an inevitable stage of life. Like you're just supposed to date a bunch of people, then by a certain age, you just gotta pick one and pair off. That's gonna lead to a shitty marriage though. It's similar to the phenomenon in high school where dating is as much a social status thing as it is about romance, the "popular" people tended to date one another, and hearing them talk, they fucking hated each other. I imagine if you carry that mentality into adulthood you're gonna end up in some shitty relationships.

Both myself and my wife have said to one another that we never thought we would get married. Just... we didn't see it as a stage of life one necessarily must go through. So perhaps the lack of pressure helps, if you think getting married is going to make a big change in your relationship you're likely to be disappointed.
 
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Corbin Dallas Multipass said:
Too many people see dating and marriage as an inevitable stage of life. Like you're just supposed to date a bunch of people, then by a certain age, you just gotta pick one and pair off. That's gonna lead to a shitty marriage though. It's similar to the phenomenon in high school where dating is as much a social status thing as it is about romance, the "popular" people tended to date one another, and hearing them talk, they fucking hated each other. I imagine if you carry that mentality into adulthood you're gonna end up in some shitty relationships.
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For me it's quite shameful that the only gf i ever had was for 3 months and it was basically out of peer pressure that we both got together. But you have a point on the fact that you need to find someone with a lot of common interests and build up from there. It's not a matter of finding someone but more about knowing someone.

This is why i truly think that it's a fruitless endeavour for me, because i'm a filthy fucking weirdo. But as well, i follow the "If it's not broken, don't fix it" philosphy in this case.
 
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A Name But Backwards said:
My husband doesnt care about lolcows, which is good.
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I wanted to show my wife this place. She aint my ex though who would have been super into this place lol.
Being married doesnt have the sexual tension and excitement of any other relationship ive been in but whatever. Still really good sex just not the same. Its becoming what I expected. A really good friend I can talk to and share things with. Something I never felt like I needed in my life but it started happening in my early 30s. Its nice. Shes nice. Its difficult though for sure.
 
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Malagor the dank omen said:
For me it's quite shameful that the only gf i ever had was for 3 months and it was basically out of peer pressure that we both got together. But you have a point on the fact that you need to find someone with a lot of common interests and build up from there. It's not a matter of finding someone but more about knowing someone.

This is why i truly think that it's a fruitless endeavour for me, because i'm a filthy fucking weirdo. But as well, i follow the "If it's not broken, don't fix it" philosphy in this case.
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Eh, before I got married I had only really dated 2 girls, and even then I use the term 'dated' pretty fucking loosely. When I met my wife it was just because she seemed cool and we shared some interests, there was no romantic intent (at least on my part) at first. We just kept wanting to hang out together.

There's a lot of people out there, and plenty of them are weird. Of course it's easy for me to say "Eh, don't worry about it" when I basically just stumbled my way into it, but I'm a fucking weirdo too, so it's not hopeless.
 
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Kari Kamiya said:
I love hearing marriage stories as a hopeless romantic, gives me the fuzzy-wuzzies I don't have and probably never will. :heart-full: I have a lot of questions I guess, but to the married Kiwis, was the moment where you knew your SO was the one a big lightning bolt one or the quiet ninja-sneak one?
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Definitely a quiet ninja-sneak one. We had met once or twice in person as we lived in different states. I relocated after about 6 months of constant texting and video chats. We lived together for about a year and then tied the knot. Not exactly the most romantic of stories, but as I see it, you'll never know unless you're willing to go out on a limb. We went out to dinner after we got off work one day and I couldn't see myself with anyone else.
 
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Kari Kamiya said:
I love hearing marriage stories as a hopeless romantic, gives me the fuzzy-wuzzies I don't have and probably never will. :heart-full: I have a lot of questions I guess, but to the married Kiwis, was the moment where you knew your SO was the one a big lightning bolt one or the quiet ninja-sneak one?
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I married the cutest girl working at the gym. My wife was 20, I had just turned 31 when we met. I flirted with her for about 7 months, she was engaged to some guy in the Air Force. She broke up with him because he told her he didn't want her to come join him in Japan, because his sister wanted to fly out and his mom would be mad if she had found out that she (my wife) was there. She figured he was just a huge momma's boy and didn't want to have to share a husband with his sister and mother.

I took her out for her 21st birthday since her friend had just found out she was pregnant and didn';t want to go bar hoping. We spent the night singing bad covers of songs from 80s movies, she came home with me and never left. We got married on a friend's boat at sunset in the San Diego bay a few years after with a few close friends and immediate family on board, including her grandfather, who was also celebrating his 80th birthday and was thrilled to be out at sea for the first time since he got out of the Navy in 1964. He's still with us and recently he and my wife's grandmother moved in to a condo near our house, so he still tells me how it was one of the greatest days of his life.
 
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Corbin Dallas Multipass said:
There's a lot of people out there, and plenty of them are weird. Of course it's easy for me to say "Eh, don't worry about it" when I basically just stumbled my way into it, but I'm a fucking weirdo too, so it's not hopeless
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Somwhere in that ramble is a message that should be on a Hallmark card for some occasion. I agree with the general thrust, I think.
 
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STOP TALKING ABOUT LOVE, YOU STUPID NIGGER FAGGOTS. FUCK YOU.
 
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Corbin Dallas Multipass said:
The one?

Nah dude. It wasn't a moment. Don't base life decisions on a moment, they're over before they begin.

It's not like that. It's like how you make a "best friend". You don't spot someone and be like "Oh yeah, that's the person who i'm going to share a ton of interest with and like to hang out with!" You hang out with a bunch of people and notice you like some of them better than others.

How did I know my wife was "the one?" Well, we had been together for a few years and still wanted to be together. She said "We should get married", and it obviously meant something to her, so we did. Still going good, so I guess it was a good decision. Plus I guess we save some money on taxes. She continues to have to clean up after the name change though, seems like a pain in the ass.

Too many people see dating and marriage as an inevitable stage of life. Like you're just supposed to date a bunch of people, then by a certain age, you just gotta pick one and pair off. That's gonna lead to a shitty marriage though. It's similar to the phenomenon in high school where dating is as much a social status thing as it is about romance, the "popular" people tended to date one another, and hearing them talk, they fucking hated each other. I imagine if you carry that mentality into adulthood you're gonna end up in some shitty relationships.

Both myself and my wife have said to one another that we never thought we would get married. Just... we didn't see it as a stage of life one necessarily must go through. So perhaps the lack of pressure helps, if you think getting married is going to make a big change in your relationship you're likely to be disappointed.
Click to expand...

Oh man, people fuck their lives straight into oblivion trying to do what they're "supposed" to do, or else they base their lives on whimsy.

I was getting near that earlier, about how proposing to my now-wife was a sober decision that I literally made with a pro-con sheet that I mulled over for months. I went full on Ben Franklin with it.

People I knew all expressed surprise when they found out because I hadn't asked anyone's opinion on the matter; almost none of them had worthwhile opinions in general, and the intelligent few could not possibly know the situation and the people involved well enough to know what I should do.

Apparently I was supposed to ask permission from her father. He was the only person in her family who didn't care that I didn't. Ah well, I've never been one to ask permission in general.
 
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My husband and I got married not too long ago (next week would make it 2 months) but we're dating for almost 10 years before then. Hell, he's been living with me in my house for the last 5 or so years now. We've been going just fine we might do an silly dumb argument here and there but we realize that it's dumb and apologize later. I remember literally realizing he was a keeper because I referenced gachi muchi back in like the early 2010's and he knew what the fuck I was talking about.

Edit:
Forgot to mention, Mr. Panzer actually enjoys lolcows and his favorite "newer" one is Cyrax. He just thinks he's fucking stupid and laughs about it.
 
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My husband is my very best friend. We have very different hobbies and interests, though some do overlap. We hardly ever fight about anything, unless we go grocery shopping together! I've known him for over two decades, married to him for 18. I can't imagine life without him. He's as crazy about the cats as I am.

He has no interest in lolcows and thinks this site is pretty shady. But that's probably his biggest flaw.
 
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So since the thread's been bumped and I remembered it like it was yesterday, think all the stories here were what I needed since I'm now engaged, so that's exciting. The date's still so far away, but we're getting by day by day. We made it through a whole year of long-distance dating and the rare meet-up (because Covid restrictions were then starting to lift and we're both poorfags lol), we can do it again another year, just with planning added on now.

Engagement stories will help bring it all full circle.
 
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18 years and no end in sight. It's fine with us. We're just about the only two people left on Earth who'll put up with the other one, so it's practically ironclad.
 
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TiggerNits said:
I was REALLY sick with a stomach bug (that our 5 year old son gave me) from Friday to Sunday. My wife took care of me and our son, cleaned the house and gave me some amazing sex on Monday when I felt better.
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Oh yeah, I can actually relate with that, I got a bad sinus issue earlier this year, Mr. Panzer took care of me, he would even come in and hug me randomly every now and then. Of course when I got better about 5 days later he gave me fucking awesome sex.

Sometimes you just need some great sex after being sick to feel your best
 
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I dunno man, my lamp broke one day and I told her that she shone bright enough for me to not replace the busted one.
I somehow got an engagement out of that.
 
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