Culture Men Are Setting ‘Gold Digger Tests’ on Dates, and Women Are Over It

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Men Are Setting ‘Gold Digger Tests’ on Dates, and Women Are Over It​

Some men are going to increasingly bizarre lengths to figure out if a woman is dating them for money—and women are calling it out as manipulative, disrespectful, and straight-up weird.

One Reddit user shared her recent experience on the subreddit r/AITA (now deleted), where she explained how a seemingly normal first date took a sharp turn into “you’ve got to be kidding me” territory. The 29-year-old woman went out with a man introduced to her by a mutual friend. Everything felt pretty standard—until the check came. That’s when things got strange.

He handed her the bill and asked her to pay it, despite the date totaling over $100. She didn’t mind splitting, she said and was prepared to pay her share. But this wasn’t about money. It was a setup. “Right after I paid, he got this huge grin on his face and said, ‘Congratulations, you passed the test! You’re not a gold digger,’” she wrote.

The woman called him out, saying, “I’m not your ex, and you have no right to treat me like I’m guilty until proven innocent.” She added, “You’re not some prize that I need to pass tests for.”

Commenters on the thread didn’t hold back. “It absolutely WAS a test—to see how far he could disrespect you,” one user wrote. Another chimed in, “He’s not actually offering much else. At least, not a pleasant character.”

And this kind of behavior isn’t isolated. In a separate AITA post, another woman described going on a date with a man who claimed to be a carpenter. He later admitted it was a lie—he had fabricated the low-paying job to “test” her reaction. “He just wanted to test me,” she wrote.

Reddit didn’t take kindly to that one, either. “So not only is he dishonest and can’t communicate, he’s classist,” one commenter said. Another added, “His ‘test’ gave away his character flaw. He showed you that he’s a snob.”

And honestly? He’s an idiot—because trades like carpentry can actually be super lucrative, especially if you’re good and run your own business.

Some called out the obvious red flag: “I’d like to start this potential relationship by lying to you” isn’t exactly a great opening move.

Whether it’s fake job titles or surprise check handoffs, women are pointing out the pattern. These “tests” aren’t clever—they’re projections. And if your date is making you prove you’re not a gold digger before the appetizers are cleared, they’re probably the one bringing baggage to the table.
 
Here is the truth. Most of the average guys have checked out. They aren't interested in bothering with these stuck-up bitches. The guys with money and good jobs are catching on that women don't want them. All they want is their money and whatever they can provide for them. They don't give two shits about you. If they could take your money and give it to the guy they are fucking while you are at work, you know the guy they actually want to be with they would. Thankfully with the help of the government and the legal system they don't have stay with you to get your money.

It's also funny seeing women call anything men do manipulative since that's all women fucking do is try and manipulate their way through life.
 
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Expecting $100+ on a first date is delusional
It's kinda gay to test EVERY girl but at the same time these bitches be straight up malicious in using people for their money because they're a "foodie"
I used to take prospectives to obscure little ethnic hole-in-the-wall restaurants that white people aren't supposed to know about.
Food in the places I used to go was cheap and good and I had no interest in women with no sense of culinary adventurousness.
Win win all round.

Is everyone here like...ugly or something?
I am but I have a lovely personality when I'm not on the Farms.
 
The etiquette is that the asker does the paying. If you ask someone out you offer to pay. The polite thing to do is then to offer to go halves, at which point the asker should say no.
Anyone spending a fortune on a first date is unwise. Just go for a coffee somewhere. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. It just creates uncomfortableness
You are not wrong, in a perfect world. But there's at least two types of scams in our tiktok-plagued time and age that are being practiced to great success.

The first is your basic seagull aka тарелочница in the language of the Old Country that registers a dating profile, steers the mark into a restaurant of her choosing and lets him dine her never to be seen again. There are telegram channels that share tips and best venues. "Save money on food AND let every day be a gourmet adventure".

The second goes a bit farther with the conwoman steering the mark not necessarily into a retaurant but a hookah bar/a private cinema/a recreation lounge with ridiculously expensive prices ("that will be 500$ for your bottle of Le Pisse Wateur de Chardonnay") for 50% of the check as a kickback for the sammer at the end of the day.

And if you suggest you go for a coffee, you are subjected to a wave of derision calling you a miser, a нищеброд, a failure of a man and, you guessed it, an incel. Isn't 2025 grand?
 
Who the hell spends $100 on a first date?
Dumbasses trying to impress women?

Woman at work recently told me a guy she had been dating for 2 months spent $500 on her in a single day. Dumped him the next day as she said he was getting too clingy and gave her the ick.

This is why shit is so fucked up nowadays. Too many retards throwing money at women and women acting like its no big deal.
 
Man wants high maintenance 10/10 woman, doesn't want to pay for high maintenance 10/10 woman.
but we are not talking about 10s..


I have been trying for ages to give men advice — learn to dance, learn to sing, learn to cook, learn some niche but romantic skill like piloting or sailing or making jewelry or whatever — and they often just say that sounds hard/not fun to them, isn’t it enough that they have a good paying career?
WOMEN MOMENT! DING DING DING! WOMEN MOMENT!
those skills arent romantic and talking about them will only bore the female brain.
They sound romantic, but they are hard work.

the only useful skill you should learn is to be an active listener. look interest and learn how to ask questions without context that will keep them talking. attention is the only thing they want.
 
The first is your basic seagull aka тарелочница in the language of the Old Country
seagulls is funny. Are yours like ours? Gimlet-eyed predators who will kill for chips? Only more Slavic gold digger looking? Maybe lots of lip filler and leopard print skintight dresses? (Stereotyping, sorry.)
It's totally normal for both men and women give small subtle tests to potential romantic partners. Even if you try not to you will probably end up doing it subconsciously. It's not normal to announce that they past a test like a kindergarten teacher slapping a gold star on a kids cheak.
Yeah small tests are very normal in any new relationship. I was always given the advice to say no to a man and see how he reacts and it’s a bit of advice I’ve used more at work on both sexes than dating but it’s very interesting to see how anyone reacts (man or woman) when told no.
Announcing it like that is just autism on steroids. Man it’s no wonder we are going extinct, you young un’s don’t know how to romance and you’re all surrounded by dead-souled consumers
Playing 80s thrash metal in my basement is about as unsexy and uncool as it gets, but I'd rather be genuinely uncool than be appreciated for the person I'm pretending to be.
I think it’s more that you need to find a girl who also wants to hang out and play thrash metal with you. They must exist. Or try something new that YOU want to do for yourself, rather than as a vehicle to meet women.
women can absolutely tell when you're only at the yoga class to pick them up, and they do not like that (unless you are hot enough that you can Bundymaxx)
Yeah this kind of ‘do a yoga class’ advice is bullshit. Generally (with exceptions of ) that sort of evening classes are aimed at men or women. The yoga and all that is going to be majority women. The advice should be do a class YOU want to do for its own sake and make new friends. Even if the class is all male, new friends means new people in your circle to introduce you to their sisters etc.
No women are impressed by pilots
Disagree, that’s at the very least interesting. You could get a good bush pilot joke out of it.
You are the 1% of the 1%, if that. The majority of women just roll their eyes. Similar to when a woman asks what you do in your spare time and you tell her you're finishing remodeling the bathroom.
DIY ability is a big plus. A man who can do decent home renovations is a catch. Maybe this is because so many rent these days and look down on the tradies?
 
Yeah small tests are very normal in any new relationship. I was always given the advice to say no to a man and see how he reacts and it’s a bit of advice I’ve used more at work on both sexes than dating but it’s very interesting to see how anyone reacts (man or woman) when told no.
Announcing it like that is just autism on steroids. Man it’s no wonder we are going extinct, you young un’s don’t know how to romance and you’re all surrounded by dead-souled consumers
This, if being told no elicits some kind of meltdown well, the lights are already blinking red.
The advice should be do a class YOU want to do for its own sake and make new friends. Even if the class is all male, new friends means new people in your circle to introduce you to their sisters etc.
Great advice but there's always the ones that go "That's too much work/I'm not good at it".
DIY ability is a big plus.
Yep. I think some men have this idea of what they should have instead of what would actually work for them. To be fair many women fall into all the traps I mentioned above as well. "My ideal man/woman must have a job like this, he/she must think like this, he/she must always look like this" etc. Life is never 100%, neither are men/women.

It's sad, years ago I met some of my uncle's friends, men who finally understood but they were in their 40s/50s, and yet were still kind of rigid and inflexible. They had sadness in their eyes despite trying to appear content with their lot. They were good men who were happy to teach me how to do a bit of spot welding or use a torque wrench on my vehicle's front end. If I was single at the time I would have happily dated them but last I heard none had partners or ever married. Don't be like my uncle's pals.
 
$100 in a not-even-big Big City is like some sirloins and 1 drink each at a place slightly higher level than Applebee's.

I like places a lot too that are like "no coke, Pepsi" or "cebolla y cilantro?" and you're sitting in a booth under bright flourescents in a strip mall with a 24hr massage place on one side and an hvac supply on the other but it just doesn't seem like first date type thing to me.

First date is supposed to be a bit of an "event" for lack of better word, you're not supposed to be doing this really regularly and legit-expensive places shouldn't be on your mind but neither should be budget-friendly.
 
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