- Joined
- Sep 26, 2017
"B-But how am I gonna justify my years of REEing into Chris's mentions?"
>"may be" involved
>
Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn - Chris obsessed old man, A-Log 2.0, EXTENSIVE history of online fuckery in fur community
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- Joined
- Nov 12, 2015
til the most heinous crime in the world is selling the old comics of an adult man who left them behind and hasn't bothered trying to retrieve them in thirty years.
Move over rapists, pedophiles, murderers, arsonists, and socialists, Chris-chan is here to sell Cole's comics and show you how it's done.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
What Hitler did in the Holocaust is potatoes compared to selling some comics left behind by his shithead hipster brother.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2015
And we are all Nazis for not calling for Chris's death for it. WE'RE ALL NAZIS.
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2016
I'm sure glad the guy that scammed artists by lying about how he was dying from cancer is here to tell us a thing or two about morals
- Joined
- May 27, 2013
I just can't get out of my headcannon that "Hirtes" is pronounces like "Hurt-eeeees"
It just sounds fucking profounder than just saying "hurts"
It just sounds fucking profounder than just saying "hurts"
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2015
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2017
Alright, we've had many funny moments with our pal Mikey, but this seriously takes the cake:
tfw when you try to troll Chris, but the only one responding is Kengle.
EDIT:
Speaking of Kengle, Hirtes can be surprisingly similar to him, just substitute weens for trannies/Lol-cows:
This is just *a small part* of the likes that Hirtes gives to people who ween on Chris, he really does like ever single ween comment.
Mikey-boy, keep catching all the weens on the land, and we'll dox and laugh at them, same as you, shine on, you crazy autistic diamond.
tfw when you try to troll Chris, but the only one responding is Kengle.
EDIT:
Speaking of Kengle, Hirtes can be surprisingly similar to him, just substitute weens for trannies/Lol-cows:
This is just *a small part* of the likes that Hirtes gives to people who ween on Chris, he really does like ever single ween comment.
Mikey-boy, keep catching all the weens on the land, and we'll dox and laugh at them, same as you, shine on, you crazy autistic diamond.
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- Joined
- Nov 12, 2015
That's about typical from what I've seen of his behavior other places. He'll try to latch on to anyone that hates the same people he hates and form an "alliance". It never lasts because he always inevitably starts REEEEEEEEEEEEEEing at them full force the moment they finally get annoyed with him and say something contrary.
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2017
I fully agree, I think I saw him give advice to some people in the art of
He has this weird ego around what he does, as if he's the only ween that tries to anger OPL on Twitter, when he is merely the 1st to get doxed and made into a laughingstock.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2015
Arrogance and extreme self-centeredness are both typical traits of autism/lolcows, but there's definitely a few factors that make Hirtes stand above the crowd on those fronts. The length of time he's been doing it, his age, his history, his approach.
I think the biggest factor though is his isolation. It's clear that possibly more than almost any other lolcow, Hirtes is alone and completely mired in negativity. He has no family. He has no friends. He has zero positive interaction with anyone at all. Chris actually has way more going for him on the social front than Hirtes does. And Phil and Dobson, two other cows who are both mired in negativity and dedicated to pushing everyone around them away, at least make occasional attempts at creative endeavors or having positive interactions with others (they both always fail but they at least try).
Hirtes has none of that. He doesn't have any friends, he doesn't try to make any. Negativity infuses literally everything he does. He can't even get himself fap art anymore because he's so sufficiently poisoned the well that anyone asking for any of the subject matter he's infamous for sends up a giant red flag. (The fact that he gets really, really, really pissed if someone asks "Are you Hirtes?" and thus gives himself away is probably illuminating on several levels.) He not only has no positive interactions left in his life, he's trained himself to thrive and focus on the negative ones.
He'd almost be worth pitying if he weren't such a complete fuckhead.
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2017
Why don't we wordfilter the word "faggot", "fag", and other varients to "sniveltard"?
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- Joined
- Nov 18, 2014
Then why even bring them up? Hirtes has a very poor understanding of cause and effect.
Also, private commission only means that the artist doesn't upload it to their own gallery. 2 decades as a furfag and this dude still doesn't grasp the basics.
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2017
I can't believe that out of all the things we've shit talked him for this is the one that drives him into tard rage mode.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2015
Yeah Mikey I'm sure super duper saddened by not getting to see your toe ring fetish art.
Not as sad as your entire existence is, where you're too much of a pathetic coward to even log in to your account and reeeee at us directly, though.
Commissioning fap art is the closest he's ever come to accomplishing anything in life, of course he'd turn into a salt geyser if I pointed out that he's ripped off and cheated so many artists that he can no longer get his degenerate child slave art drawn.
Not as sad as your entire existence is, where you're too much of a pathetic coward to even log in to your account and reeeee at us directly, though.
I can't believe that out of all the things we've shit talked him for this is the one that drives him into tard rage mode.
Commissioning fap art is the closest he's ever come to accomplishing anything in life, of course he'd turn into a salt geyser if I pointed out that he's ripped off and cheated so many artists that he can no longer get his degenerate child slave art drawn.
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2017
LMAO he just proved that he obsessively reads his thread! It wasn't even 24 hours since I posted that.
Keep tard raging, tugboat-boy.
5 decades alive and he still doesn't grasp the basics of life.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2017
You really got us there, Hirtes. I now acknowledge the superiority of a 53 year old unemployed furry spewing hatred at an autist who pities him.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2015
LMAO he just proved that he obsessively reads his thread! It wasn't even 24 hours since I posted that.
Keep tard raging, tugboat-boy.
I like how, as @AnonAutismo pointed out, it wasn't any of the stuff we said about him having no friends, having no family, being mired in negativity, being a degenerate, or any of the other dozens of things we've pointed out about the pathetic non-life that is his life that got him to start REEEEEEEing at us again from the safety of his billionth twitter account, it was saying that he can't commission any more harem loli art.
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2014
You know how people look back on their lives near the end and reflect on all they've done, spend time with their grandchildren and enjoy a well-earned retirement with the people they love
All Hirtes has is weening Chris. He's an outcast in the furry fandom, has no family that wants to put up with him, and lives in section eight housing. His existence is fapping to toe-rings, making alts and getting ignored by Chris.
This thread is Hirtes' only legacy to the world. A laughingstock.
All Hirtes has is weening Chris. He's an outcast in the furry fandom, has no family that wants to put up with him, and lives in section eight housing. His existence is fapping to toe-rings, making alts and getting ignored by Chris.
This thread is Hirtes' only legacy to the world. A laughingstock.
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