Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn - Chris obsessed old man, A-Log 2.0, EXTENSIVE history of online fuckery in fur community

[Marvin]

Hirtes is a fat man who feels inadequate because he lives a depressingly bad life due to his bad choices in life. His choices were probably caused by his lack of ambition, because he didn't have a strong parental role model.

In place of a role model, Hirtes idle hobbies (read: his sexual fantasies involving plush cartoon characters) came to dominate his life and finances. His finances, of course, are sourced entirely from the generosity of state and federal programs designed to keep the functionally impaired from starving to death.

It seems their generosity is being pissed on by people such as Hirtes. Sad.

Taking pot shots at people who air these critiques won't reduce Hirtes' shame. He's just going to decompose in his $59.99 walmart chair in shame.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Between him and Chris, I swear that Hirtes has to be the bigger lolcow of the two, in the past 2 days he probably provided us with more entertainment than Chris's last two months.

Oh no fuckin' question. Chris is sad and pathetic but almost pitiable. Like you can see the various ways that he's been trying to cling to the slope of being old and alone with nothing to show for it, doing his best to keep himself from sliding down it any faster.

Hirtes meanwhile grabbed a lunch tray, sprayed that fucker with WD-40, and got a running start towards the slope and never looked back.

 

[Done]

Hirtes is a fat man who feels inadequate because he lives a depressingly bad life due to his bad choices in life. His choices were probably caused by his lack of ambition, because he didn't have a strong parental role model.

In place of a role model, Hirtes idle hobbies (read: his sexual fantasies involving plush cartoon characters) came to dominate his life and finances. His finances, of course, are sourced entirely from the generosity of state and federal programs designed to keep the functionally impaired from starving to death.

It seems their generosity is being pissed on by people such as Hirtes. Sad.

Taking pot shots at people who air these critiques won't reduce Hirtes' shame. He's just going to decompose in his $59.99 walmart chair in shame.

That's a interesting point, lack of ambition explains one of Hirtes' weirder moments for me, when he stopped publishing that magazine just when it found (relative) success so it won't fuck with his .

Even Chris never let his tugboat get in the way of making money whenever the chance popped up, maybe that attitude comes to bite him in the ass later, but I can see Chris being a far more enterprising and productive member of society than Hirtes, and he's like, half his age! I feel crazy even praising Chris for anything, but Hirtes got us into this territory.

Oh no fuckin' question. Chris is sad and pathetic but almost pitiable. Like you can see the various ways that he's been trying to cling to the slope of being old and alone with nothing to show for it, doing his best to keep himself from sliding down it any faster.

Hirtes meanwhile grabbed a lunch tray, sprayed that fucker with WD-40, and got a running start towards the slope and never looked back.

I don't know if Chris ever thinks much about age, I think he thinks a lot about how sustainable his weird-ass life style is, but if you guaranteed him that it will be, then Chris will just play with his toys, draw Sonichu and play Vidya until he dies with minimal care, he may not be necessarily completely happy with this life, but he's not gonna complain.

Hirtes is definitely different, "trolling Chris" is definitely an escape for him, and judging by his lightning quick ween responses to Chris's tweets, I think he feels he really needs that escape, and bad! Which probably tells you a lot about his state of mind and day-to-day life.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Hirtes is definitely different, "trolling Chris" is definitely an escape for him, and judging by his lightning quick ween responses to Chris's tweets, I think he feels he really needs that escape, and bad! Which probably tells you a lot about his state of mind and day-to-day life.

/cow/fags probably hit a little too close to home when they taunted him about his poor ass ghetto neighbors stealing his shit and just generally causing him torment.

I mean think about it like this, this is a boomer who's not only poor, but also never even had a day of honest work, let alone a career and one time when he was socking here he was calling himself "Aristocrat".

 

[Done]

/cow/fags probably hit a little too close to home when they taunted him about his poor ass ghetto neighbors stealing his shit and just generally causing him torment.

I mean think about it like this, this is a boomer who's not only poor, but also never even had a day of honest work, let alone a career and one time when he was socking here he was calling himself "Aristocrat".

Yeah that clearly hit him very hard, and even I felt for him for a second there (nobody likes to see a tard get repeatedly slapped, even if said tard is very unlikeable).

Though I will admit to laughing out loud when that one /cow/fag said he hoped Trump would take his tugboat, that was pure fire lmao.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Hirtes's little spat of reeeeeing about Trump is actually pretty illuminating too, tbh. Just like Hirtes uses Chris as an object of rage for his own projected insecurities... fat, alone, friendless, on welfare, strange interests, widely viewed as pathetic... I'm guessing his intense vitriol against Trump and Republicans is the same way. He projects his own personality failings... racism, lack of empathy, desire to oppress others... onto them because they've been made a convenient strawman for those traits, and he hates them so that he doesn't have to hate himself.

 

[Grog]

What's funny to me is that he couldn't keep the Trump A-Logging to himself for a little even if just to try to stay undetected. There's only so many people who hate Chris, KF and Trump all three so furiously.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Only recently started paying much attention to Hirtes so can I get a quick jargon check here? Foxdicks? Is this something to do with Fox News, and thinking Kiwis are big fans?

 

[Sheeeeeiiiiiittt]

Only recently started paying much attention to Hirtes so can I get a quick jargon check here? Foxdicks? Is this something to do with Fox News, and thinking Kiwis are big fans?

FoxDicks is a word filter on /cow/ that turns KiwiFarms into FoxDicks. Dunno why

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

FoxDicks is a word filter on /cow/ that turns KiwiFarms into FoxDicks. Dunno why

:autism:

 

[Marvin]

Hirtes is a fat man who feels inadequate because he lives a depressingly bad life due to his bad choices in life. His choices were probably caused by his lack of ambition, because he didn't have a strong parental role model.

In place of a role model, Hirtes idle hobbies (read: his sexual fantasies involving plush cartoon characters) came to dominate his life and finances. His finances, of course, are sourced entirely from the generosity of state and federal programs designed to keep the functionally impaired from starving to death.

It seems their generosity is being pissed on by people such as Hirtes. Sad.

Taking pot shots at people who air these critiques won't reduce Hirtes' shame. He's just going to decompose in his $59.99 walmart chair in shame.

Spoiler

jk I don't really know when he blocked me

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Only recently started paying much attention to Hirtes so can I get a quick jargon check here? Foxdicks? Is this something to do with Fox News, and thinking Kiwis are big fans?

FoxDicks is a word filter on /cow/ that turns KiwiFarms into FoxDicks. Dunno why

Its a reference to Anthony "6-inch foxdick" Logatto.

So it's hilarious coming from Mike.

 

[drain]

There's something.. beautiful about watching a 50-something furfag

ftfy

 

[Done]

Autism replies to Autism:

Where did Chris even mention Amazon? And when was the last time he made funny videos?

But do you have enough time to shoplift from TRU before they go down?

Its a reference to Anthony "6-inch foxdick" Logatto.

So it's hilarious coming from Mike.

Kinda interesting that both of the autists known for obsessively hating on Chris have Fox fursonas, has an ironic feel about it..

 

[drain]

i'm not surprised that these garbage tweets received likes, what a bunch of speds

 

[The Un-Clit]

Its a reference to Anthony "6-inch foxdick" Logatto.

So it's hilarious coming from Mike.

It is indeed, thankee fam!

 

[Ntwadumela]

I believe the saddest thing about him is that he’s old enough to be my father, and yet he still insists on harassing Chris daily. I have messed around with cows in the past but I’m aware that it’s not something worth doing at all.

I’m glad that Chris is rightfully ignoring him.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

He's still getting dunked on

>he's already yiffing in a hell of his own making
ouch.

 

[Ruin]

"He should be yiffing in an oven, then again his neighbors have probably stolen that too."

Brutal

 

[Done]

I’m glad that Chris is rightfully ignoring him.

He's not only ignoring Hirtes, he actively pities him.