Could've sworn there was some dumb drama regarding The Forest Seasons but I'm probably getting that confused with Jari's "hey I need some money to build a new studio that has a sauna in it or else I can't write Time II."
I heard they are (i.e. Jari is) asking for more money again, because of course. And I found this quote from Jari recently:
"Releasing albums isn't an obligation for any band. Just because a fan buys Kill 'Em All, Metallica isn't obligated to record and release Ride The Lightning for their fans.
Also we have been very clear about all our products that we are selling."
I mean if you're dumb enough to give him money at this point, you get exactly what you deserve. And apparently 220 people on Patreon are stupid enough to give him 12 euros a month.
Yeah, now Varg is just the hobo nazi guy who's probably now better known as a meme than a black metaller or whatever you call his cheesy casio synth albums.
I'm sure it's one in the same. I wanna say he held The Forest Seasons hostage, only releasing it if the crowdfunding worked as I believe the album was already recorded, but I may be wrong. It was just some scam to fund his studio either way.
He also plans to run another two or three crowdfunding campaigns. The whole thing boggles my Goddamn mind. Wintersun is total bubblegum metal. There's nothing deep going on under the 500 tracks of keyboards, just folk melodies he ganked from his time in Ensiferum stretched out to 10 minutes, but people are just throwing wads of cash at him.
Could've sworn there was some dumb drama regarding The Forest Seasons but I'm probably getting that confused with Jari's "hey I need some money to build a new studio that has a sauna in it or else I can't write Time II."
I heard they are (i.e. Jari is) asking for more money again, because of course. And I found this quote from Jari recently:
"Releasing albums isn't an obligation for any band. Just because a fan buys Kill 'Em All, Metallica isn't obligated to record and release Ride The Lightning for their fans.
Also we have been very clear about all our products that we are selling."
I mean if you're dumb enough to give him money at this point, you get exactly what you deserve. And apparently 220 people on Patreon are stupid enough to give him 12 euros a month.
Yeah, now Varg is just the hobo nazi guy who's probably now better known as a meme than a black metaller or whatever you call his cheesy casio synth albums.
That's €2,240 a month, in USD that's $2,718.24 (why the fuck am I doing math on a Saturday night when I should be getting shit faced and watching bad movies). That's not a whole lot and while I'm sure Patreon isn't his main source of income (even if that's only a chunk of his patrons) it's still not enough to cover both a studio and his 5 billion dollar computers.
The sad part is I love Jari as a musician, but I just can't in good conscience financially support someone who needs computers the level of the US government to make an album that Between the Buried and Me could have made on their instruments and a shitty 2005 mac.
Yamantaka Eye. Frontman of Hanatarash. Some of the weirdest shit he did was:
- Cutting a dead cat in half with a machete
- Running a bulldozer through a venue and half destroying it
- Strapping a circular saw to his back and almost cutting his leg off
- Almost throwing Molotov cocktails into the crowd during a performance
Not to mention playing with musical shitposting ensemble Naked City.
Hunter Hunt-Hendrix, frontmanwoman of the Black Metal TRANSCENDENTAL BLACK METAL band Liturgy might be considered one.
Liturgy was, at the start, just a basic american Black Metal band that kinda stood out by looking extremely hipstery, but the first album was pretty decent in my opinion. Upon closer look you'd then hear Hunt-Hendrix screeching about his manifesto, TRANSCENDENTAL BLACK METAL, burst beats, and whatever the fuck is going on in his head. He wrote a full manifesto about how his music totally isn't Black Metal, but Transcendental Black Metal, and blast beats played at a more fluid time is something radically different. Honestly, early Liturgy didn't sound much different than other american acts at the time like Krallice or Wolves in the Throne Room, and after the second album I kinda forgot about them.
Since then, Hunter Hunt-Hendrix has dived completely into the uber-pretentious world of philosophy, wrote the "Transcendental Black Metal: A Vision of Apocalyptic Humanism" and the electronic music album "New Introductory Lectures on the System of Transcendental Qabala", and of 2020, trooned out.
The newest Liturgy album, "Origin of the Alimonies", thus surely isn't about him anymore.
He's on the cover, though.
Yeah, that's him.
He has a Youtube channel where he cowers in front of a wall like a very sane person and talks about stuff.
/edit: It's weird. As a musician he is undoubtedly somewhat talented, but holy shit he's the pinnacle of pretentiousness, trooning out will only lead him on a path to worse.
The kid of two self-help book authors. He never had a chance.
Not to mention playing with musical shitposting ensemble Naked City.
Hunter Hunt-Hendrix, frontmanwoman of the Black Metal TRANSCENDENTAL BLACK METAL band Liturgy might be considered one.
Liturgy was, at the start, just a basic american Black Metal band that kinda stood out by looking extremely hipstery, but the first album was pretty decent in my opinion. Upon closer look you'd then hear Hunt-Hendrix screeching about his manifesto, TRANSCENDENTAL BLACK METAL, burst beats, and whatever the fuck is going on in his head. He wrote a full manifesto about how his music totally isn't Black Metal, but Transcendental Black Metal, and blast beats played at a more fluid time is something radically different. Honestly, early Liturgy didn't sound much different than other american acts at the time like Krallice or Wolves in the Throne Room, and after the second album I kinda forgot about them.
Since then, Hunter Hunt-Hendrix has dived completely into the uber-pretentious world of philosophy, wrote the "Transcendental Black Metal: A Vision of Apocalyptic Humanism" and the electronic music album "New Introductory Lectures on the System of Transcendental Qabala", and of 2020, trooned out.
The newest Liturgy album, "Origin of the Alimonies", thus surely isn't about him anymore.
He's on the cover, though.
Yeah, that's him.
He has a Youtube channel where he cowers in front of a wall like a very sane person and talks about stuff.
/edit: It's weird. As a musician he is undoubtedly somewhat talented, but holy shit he's the pinnacle of pretentiousness, trooning out will only lead him on a path to worse.
The kid of two self-help book authors. He never had a chance.
I remember that SCION A/V video from back in the day. 10 years later and the sight of his band mates wanting to yeet him out the window will never not be hilarious.
Here's another good one, Timo Tolkki, best known as the former guitarist of Finnish power metal band Stratovarius who wrote most of their music from the 80s until 2005. While he's an incredibly talented guitarist and songwriter (or he used to be a talented songwriter=, he's legitimately bipolar and it definitely shows. He's apparently a pain to work with at times and he did things like kick out the founding members of the band, but the best was the notorious incidents in the mid-2000s. These included:
*Allegedly hiring bodyguards because people were "sending death threats"
*Firing the singer and drummer
*Hiring some random chick as the new singer where she was introduced with a mouth full of fake blood (IIRC he never actually made her the singer, just said he did)
*Claiming he was the victim of attempted murder and posting fake pictures as proof
*Claiming the keyboardist was drunk and took a piss on him on stage (he later admitted to making this one up)
*Attempting suicide and actually winding up in the hospital
Finally he came to his senses around 2005, got the actual band back together, recorded a really shitty album, played some tours, and was going to record another album but then his bipolar kicked in again and he split the band up with less drama in 2008. This was around the time he announced some epic solo albums called "Saana Warrior of Light". I can't remember if it was supposed to be two or three parts, but then Part 1 actually came out and turns out to be poorly produced, absolutely fucking tacky new age music that's some of the most hilariously bad shit you'll ever hear. Naturally there was no Part 2.
Fortunately he realized he was being an idiot, let the rest of the band keep the Stratovarius name and rights, and fucked off to do his own thing. I can't recall much drama in the time since, he just bounces from project to project (nowadays mostly under his own name) and makes endless amounts of boring, extremely generic symphonic metal good for doing nothing but falling asleep to. Maybe it's the medication he takes that kills his creativity or ability to write interesting music, who knows.
That's €2,240 a month, in USD that's $2,718.24 (why the fuck am I doing math on a Saturday night when I should be getting shit faced and watching bad movies). That's not a whole lot and while I'm sure Patreon isn't his main source of income (even if that's only a chunk of his patrons) it's still not enough to cover both a studio and his 5 billion dollar computers.
The sad part is I love Jari as a musician, but I just can't in good conscience financially support someone who needs computers the level of the US government to make an album that Between the Buried and Me could have made on their instruments and a shitty 2005 mac.
He's still making thousands of dollars from sitting on his ass doing practically nothing (well I guess Wintersun tours every now and then). And honestly, good for him. He makes good music, it's clear he doesn't care about things like release schedules, and if you want to pay him to do nothing, then you go ahead and do that. There's nothing wrong with finding ways to make money off stupid people.
/edit: It's weird. As a musician he is undoubtedly somewhat talented, but holy shit he's the pinnacle of pretentiousness, trooning out will only lead him on a path to worse.
The kid of two self-help book authors. He never had a chance.
His grandfather is billionaire Texas Oil Baron H.L. Hunt and his uncle is Lamar Hunt, founder of Major League Soccer and one of the team owners (he owned the Kansas City Chiefs, Hunter's cousin Clark Hunt is the current owner) who helped create the modern NFL and literally gave the Super Bowl it's name. You can't get much more trust fund kid than that.
Here's another good one, Timo Tolkki, best known as the former guitarist of Finnish power metal band Stratovarius who wrote most of their music from the 80s until 2005. While he's an incredibly talented guitarist and songwriter (or he used to be a talented songwriter=, he's legitimately bipolar and it definitely shows. He's apparently a pain to work with at times and he did things like kick out the founding members of the band, but the best was the notorious incidents in the mid-2000s. These included:
*Allegedly hiring bodyguards because people were "sending death threats"
*Firing the singer and drummer
*Hiring some random chick as the new singer where she was introduced with a mouth full of fake blood (IIRC he never actually made her the singer, just said he did)
*Claiming he was the victim of attempted murder and posting fake pictures as proof
*Claiming the keyboardist was drunk and took a piss on him on stage (he later admitted to making this one up)
*Attempting suicide and actually winding up in the hospital
Finally he came to his senses around 2005, got the actual band back together, recorded a really shitty album, played some tours, and was going to record another album but then his bipolar kicked in again and he split the band up with less drama in 2008. This was around the time he announced some epic solo albums called "Saana Warrior of Light". I can't remember if it was supposed to be two or three parts, but then Part 1 actually came out and turns out to be poorly produced, absolutely fucking tacky new age music that's some of the most hilariously bad shit you'll ever hear. Naturally there was no Part 2.
Fortunately he realized he was being an idiot, let the rest of the band keep the Stratovarius name and rights, and fucked off to do his own thing. I can't recall much drama in the time since, he just bounces from project to project (nowadays mostly under his own name) and makes endless amounts of boring, extremely generic symphonic metal good for doing nothing but falling asleep to. Maybe it's the medication he takes that kills his creativity or ability to write interesting music, who knows.
He's still making thousands of dollars from sitting on his ass doing practically nothing (well I guess Wintersun tours every now and then). And honestly, good for him. He makes good music, it's clear he doesn't care about things like release schedules, and if you want to pay him to do nothing, then you go ahead and do that. There's nothing wrong with finding ways to make money off stupid people.
His grandfather is billionaire Texas Oil Baron H.L. Hunt and his uncle is Lamar Hunt, founder of Major League Soccer and one of the team owners (he owned the Kansas City Chiefs, Hunter's cousin Clark Hunt is the current owner) who helped create the modern NFL and literally gave the Super Bowl it's name. You can't get much more trust fund kid than that.
To add to the Timo Tolkki thing, he ran an Indiegogo or whatever a few years back for a solo album that he ended up deciding not to release out of nowhere because Frontiers offered him a better deal to start that Avalon project. He claims people got refunds, but I remember seeing people complain about it on Facebook a few years after it all went down.
He also claims all that shit with the female singer and staging the photos where he supposedly got assaulted was a band decision they came up with to try and make the press. The band denies the whole thing of course. I'm more inclined to believe the band since that boy ain't right.
I'll start with one of the most batshit of current era musicows: Azealia Banks.
Arrested in 2009 for slashing her sister in the neck, arm and hand with a box cutter. Banks, who was 17 at the time of the violent incident, was given special treatment as result of her young age, despite her guilty plea in connection with attempted assault in the incident.
In 2015, Banks got in a confrontation with passengers and flight crew while departing a Delta flight that had landed in Los Angeles. According to witnesses, Banks was trying to rush off the flight and squeeze past people before a man blocked her path. Her response? to spit in the mans face, punch and claw him. This ended with a Delta employee attempting to intervene, with Banks calling the flight attendant a “fucking faggot”.
Later that year, Banks was arrested for getting into an altercation with a female security guard at the Up&Down club in NY. She was arrested on a misdemeanor charge for punching and biting the female security guard’s breast.
In 2016, Sarah Palin threatened to sue Banks in response to a cluster of tweets attacking Palin, with one entailing: “Let’s find the biggest burliest blackest negroes and let them run a train on her. Film it and put it on Worldstar”. Palin went on to respond to Banks and scaled her for not using her platform to condemn racism and being pro-rape. Banks later apologized and insisted her remark wasn’t pro-rape saying: “I used the term ‘run a train,’ which is slang for group sex, NOT for ‘rape’”. Palin didn’t take this apology and continued to threaten a suit. Banks later said on twitter: “If Sarah Palin actually decides to sue me I’ll only use the controversy to make myself an even larger American Cultural Figure.” and “When you’re a public figure who courts attention, you can’t sue for making jokes. Freedom of Speech girllllyyyyy.”
Two months later, Banks was in the news again, this time for tweeting racist and homophobic remarks towards One Direction member Zayn Malik. With this, she was dropped as headliner from a music festival and her twitter restricted.
At the end of 2016, Banks posted a rather gruesome scene on her instagram, detailing a cleanup in her apartment closet where she claimed to have been practicing brujeria. The videos posted showed a blood covered closet with feathers and flesh of decaying chickens. Sia (who is a cow herself), criticised Banks for this, and Banks replied saying: "your ugly pasty dry white lady winter skin face is the ugliest face I've ever seen, that must be why you hide it all the time. Have some fucking respect for my fucking traditional African religion, you pompous white bitch.”
In 2017, Banks opened her own store where she sells handmade soaps, mostly for gay men to clean their assholes with. Yes, really. Asks guys to send her 'photos of their buttholes' in a bizarre Instagram post "to show how well bussyboy works”, with a Twitter user reporting a terrible reaction to using “Bussyboy” soap.
Most famously, Banks is known for the whole drama between her and fellow musicow, Grimes and her billionaire boyfriend, otherwise known as Elon Musk. It’s quite long and too detailed for me to type up, this article has a decent timeline on the whole thing.
While on tour in 2019, Banks made wordplay of irish airline Aer Lingus, calling it “Air Cunnilingus”, and then later had to leave the flight due to yet another altercation with an air stewardess after calling the stewardess “fucking ugly” on instagram. Banks continued to take it out on the entirety of Ireland, labeling them as “inbred” and “leprechauns”, adding adding "most of you can't talk or write." She also mocked the Great Famine on Instagram by asking a follower; "don't you have a famine to go die in?”.
After a performance in Sweden, Banks commented "I would really love to see someone bomb the shit out of this place, LMFAO. Give y'all white asses something to fucking cry about. Ugly blonde pigs you Swedes are.” and yet again, another altercation on an airplane! On her flight back to Los Angeles, she accused the staff of racist assault, with the airline denying this and claiming Banks was acting erratic on said flight, which led to the decision of them contacting law enforcement and escorting her off the plane.
What baffles me is that, as this writer pointed out, All Music was generally positive about Adams's body of work (the first half, at least). Granted, they were very critical about his later albums, but I feel they said far worse about artists that were obviously untalented (i.e. Limp Bizkit, Nickelback) or artists that they nevertheless liked or praised in the past (i.e. Rod Stewart, Queen, the Who).
If Adams is that thin-skinned that he would sue a music website as comprehensive and overly flexible as All Music, then I feel embarrassed for all the other artists who have been called far worse by the music press in the past. At least Adams wasn't called a "fascist", as Dave Marsh did with Queen.
Gotta agree with everyone indicating Morrisey a a lolcow. This reminds me when he did a short tour in Chile in the mid 2010's. He's incredibly popular in Latin America and often does gigs down here. But yeah, before his presentation in the Viña del Mar Festival around 2014 or so, he threatened to quit one day before his performance over the fact the catering was not 100% vegan. Since he was like only one of two major international features of the whole festival and the organization crew were desperate to make it a hit due to ratings and attendance getting lower by the year, they did just that to appease to him and let him perform to an enraptured audience. Worse, the local media somehow sided with him, arguing that international shows were "few and far between" and they couldn't manage not coddling to his whims.
Much props to his talent as a singer and songwriter, but he's an asshole, pure and simple. And worse than just an asshole is an asshole surrounded by yes men and enablers, as this very thread attests.
Can I nominate Van Morrison? The man seemed to revel in his bad fame. I read somewhere that one day he was supposed to give an interview to a newspaper/magazine, but as soon as they sat down to conduct it, Van started to read some other magazine, and when the reporter reached to him, he curtly answered he was "busy".
There's also Captain Beefheart. Locking your band in a crappy cabin for months on end, and literally throw off the stairs and/or beat the shit of your bandmates over missed beats is pure horrorcow behavior in my book.
Roger Waters also has that unhealthy obsession with the Israel/Palestinian conflict that's embarrassed a lot of Floyd fans, including myself. His petty squabble with Radiohead didn't help matters either. It's a shame because he's one of the best songwriters of all time.
It's been said before and pretty much established in this thread that Axl Rose is a bonafide lolcow. I've seen countless interviews about other bands who toured with GNR and they had their shows ruined because of Axl ranting or refusing to perform. There was an instance where he attacked a fan and then refused to continue performing. The band was also responsible for provoking riots, often due to Axl's refusal to perform or the fact that they'd often show up late.
But I will give Axl some credit where credit is due: GNR had a controversial (see: based) song called One in a Million where Axl drops an N-bomb and an F-bomb. The controversy caused other bands like In Living Colour to call them out, and Axl would do his typical pre-song rants to do damage control to justify using nigger and faggot in a song.
Here's a decent story about it from a sedated Canadian rock fan:
One of my friends saw him play a few years back and described him as an Alpha Manlet. The Irish YouTuber Qxir does a pretty entertaining video on Danzig and his spergery, especially how he lives in squalor with damaged furniture and random Looney Tunes statues in his house:
Back in the day, Wikipedia had a huge subsection on Axl's page dedicated to the riots he would cause. It's not there anymore, but Axl's unique in that his egotism and assholery caused so much violence.
There's a podcast (Turned Out A Punk) interview with the late Riley Gale from Power Trip and he has a hilariously entertaining story of Ryan Adams sucking up to him and the band.
It's probably cheating because he hasn't actually made any music in like 10-15 years, but DJ Khaled. What's strange about him is that you're never sure if he's doing it on purpose or not. Just a select few things he's done over the years:
- Propose to Nicki Minaj on TV (probably a joke, but definitely cringey).
- Attempt to feud with Billboard for not letting his mediocre album get to the #1 spot over Tyler the Creator and Billie Eilish.
- Inflate the sales of his albums by packing them with products and energy drinks.
- Use his toddler son to promote his albums, including shoe-horning him into music videos and crediting him as a producer on his past few albums (to the point that Guiness counts him as the youngest music producer ever...seriously.)
- Accidentally leak his credit card info in an Instagram pic, leading him to losing about $80,000.
- Constantly claim he works out, despite being obese.
It's probably cheating because he hasn't actually made any music in like 10-15 years, but DJ Khaled. What's strange about him is that you're never sure if he's doing it on purpose or not. Just a select few things he's done over the years:
- Propose to Nicki Minaj on TV (probably a joke, but definitely cringey).
- Attempt to feud with Billboard for not letting his mediocre album get to the #1 spot over Tyler the Creator and Billie Eilish.
- Inflate the sales of his albums by packing them with products and energy drinks.
- Use his toddler son to promote his albums, including shoe-horning him into music videos and crediting him as a producer on his past few albums (to the point that Guiness counts him as the youngest music producer ever...seriously.)
- Accidentally leak his credit card info in an Instagram pic, leading him to losing about $80,000.
- Constantly claim he works out, despite being obese.
Nicky Crane, aka Britain's most famous gay nazi. Although he was more of a music scenester/groupie than a musician.
I'll just quote his wiki.
Released from jail in 1984, Crane soon began providing security for the white power skinhead band Skrewdriver, and remained associated with the band and its leader, Ian Stuart Donaldson, for the rest of the decade, designing two of the band's album covers and writing the lyrics for the song "Justice" on the LP Hail the New Dawn. He was jailed again in 1986 for six months following a fight on an Underground train. In 1987, he was instrumental in setting up the neo-Nazi network Blood and Honour with Donaldson.
Crane was leading a double life as a homosexual, even serving as a steward at the London gay pride march in 1986. He was a regular at London gay clubs such as Heaven, Bolts and the Bell pub.[5] At various times, Crane had worked as a bin man, bicycle courier, and a doorman at an S&M club. He worked for the protection agency Gentle Touch, and was able to shrug off any connection with the London gay scene as just part of his security work.[6] He also appeared in the Psychic TV video for Unclean, and in amateur gay porn films while still a neo-Nazi activist.[7]
In 1992, Crane admitted his homosexuality in a segment of the Channel 4 magazine show Out titled "Skin Complex." ... He was immediately disowned by his Nazi associates, including Ian Stuart Donaldson, who said: "I feel more betrayed by him than anybody else. It just goes to show that nationalism and homosexuality do not fit together, because nationalism is a true cause and homosexuality is a perversion."[9] The same month, the UK newspaper The Sun ran an article on him entitled "Nazi Nick is a Panzi", and included a picture of Crane with his face snarling at camera, head shaved bald, braces worn over his bare torso, faded jeans, white-laced boots and brandishing an axe. Crane died from an AIDS-related illness 18 months later.[10]
•Alice Glass: she’s a pathological liar and drug addict who falsely accused her bandmate of raping her and now she just tweets cringey tumblr shit.
kMFDM, all of their members: cringey antifa faggots. They tried to get their retarded fans to harass Martin Gore because Richard Spencer said he was a fan of Depeche Mode back in 2017. They’re about as dumb as Tom Morello. They’ll ban or block anyone who brings up Columbine.
A really obvious musician lolcow I completely forgot about is Blake Judd.
Blake was at one point the darling golden child of the USBM scene, if any American black metal musician were to break into crossover success, it could have been Blake. His main band, Nachtmystium, got fellated by music critics and fans alike, and he maintained a fairly successful record label that had connections to many bands that helped define the American black metal sound.
Somewhere along the line he developed a crippling heroin addiction and became notorious for using message boards and facebook to rip off hundreds of fans, customers, and record labels for hundreds of thousands of dollars, selling nonexistent merch and inventory and pocketing the money before blocking the buyer. Notably on several occasions he sold the rights to music he didn't even legally own.
In 2014 he was finally ousted from the music industry after ripping off a prominent international label, in the aftermath he had many public falling outs with numerous musicians and many former bandmates released "statements" regarding Blake and their relationship with him (the most specific example being fellow lolcow Neill Jameson's piece for Noisey where he alleged Blake tried to stick him full of heroin in the middle of the night). Other than the odd public sighting of him in Chicago scoring dope, he subsequently faded from memory.
In the latter half of the 10's, Blake resurfaced and performed a brief live set with a new Nachtmystium lineup. According to reports, he was now living clean after an intensive rehab stint, he was even reaching out to victims of his scamming and offering to refund every cent he had stolen from them.
Soon Nachtmystium signed a deal with a prestigious german label, released an EP of new material, and announced a plans for a new album and worldwide tour. Around this time Blake was also busy with a new record label specializing in rarities from distinguished USBM veterans, he even got himself a girlfriend who, like him, was a recovering addict. Even according to his most vocal detractors, his effort to make amends seemed genuine.
I can only assume he relapsed at some point as he quickly became the center of controversy once again, manufacturing and distributing bootleg copies of a celebrated and influential musician who had long ago retired from the black metal scene. Shortly afterwards customers began to claim they never received items they purchased, suddenly Blake was finding rare albums in his attic he had forgotten about and wanted to sell for a steep discount. Once again he was blacklisted and continually posted incoherent rambling excuses and refutations on Facebook, all the while claiming the new Nachtmystium album was on the way.
Finally in the Autumn of 2020 he posted a long-winded spiel via the Nachtmystium facebook page that's the equivalent of that one rage wojack wearing the smug mask. It was a rambling mess, he announced he was once again Leaving Forever, disbanding all of his "active" bands and quitting metal because all of the negative press that followed him had hurt his feelings. He claimed he was still five years sober, and closed the statement announcing his intention to become a sobriety councilor.
For the sake of being succinct I've left a lot of stuff out but he's a serious trainwreck with a lot of lolcow tendencies. Although I'll admit I'm a fan of his music.
Idk I've been wanting to do an in depth write up on him for a while because his saga is legitimately entertaining and fascinating.
