Quintex96
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2019
If we include Ozzy, we have to include the entirety of 80's hair metal by extension.
Musicians that are also Lolcows?
- Thread starter Biotekk
- Start date
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2016
Ozzy's antics in the 80s would have definitely got him labelled as one. There are so many instances of him going batshit due to drug and alcohol abuse, like when he pissed on a memorial at the Alamo in a dress and was banned from San Antonio for a whole decade. My personal favorite story is when he was at a board meeting with Sharon. Ozzy felt there was too much tension in the room, so he thought he performed a striptease and kissed a female executive. Sharon later informed him that he actually performed a Nazi goosestep up and down and the table and pissed in someone's wine glass.
Andy Bandy Man
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2021
IIRC one is a super-duper-creep,
the other has HIV
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2018
Motley Crue is the definition of absolute retards. You've got everything from Vince Neil killing his friend in a car crash, Nikki Sixx OD'ing, going to the hospital then getting out and OD'ing again. You have Tommy Lee getting a sextape leaked an Mick Mars being a creepy autist.
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2019
for FUCKS SAKE. HOW COULD WE FORGET THEM?!?
Dahvie is not only a cow, but MAKES cows... Made them in the early 'good' 4Chan days... Also was the impetus behind the greatest memes EVER
Jessi Slaughter is forever a trainwreck due to him.
However, she continues to crash trains, daily, on her own...
Good Catch.
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2020
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2019
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2020
>liberal
>pos to her fan base
>racist rants on Facebook and Instagram about ~strong independent blk whamen~ and Lana herself being ~delicate uwu~ which is totes not fair!
>made pedobait music which kicked off the Lolita/ddlg tumblr crowd a few years back.
>dedicated a song about Harvey Weinstein
>used witchcraft to end Trump’s presidency much earlier (and failed)
>denies her wealthy background and pretended to be a poorfag in the past
>got fat
>getting old which means no more sugar daddy songs
None of these points are in chronological order.
D_Tractor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 6, 2020
All of them. If you ever attended music school you would know that all musicians are lolcows.
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2019
Halsey's also a fucking liar. She had a thread on PULL that had some pretty interesting stuff if you could deal with all the bitchy shit from the users.
Her whole thing is that she started rough and she was broke and homeless but some people who knew her back then said she made it all up and that her parents supported her. She also talks a lot about being white-passing and how she's a proud half-black woman but apparently she's only a quarter and in high school she acted super white, like straightening her hair, only hanging with white people, didn't even talk about being black.
There was this big story a few years ago about how she got pregnant early in her career and she was freaking out, like was she gonna keep it? Is this gonna fuck her career? But then she miscarried the day of the Vevo Lift concert and she didn't want to cancel because it was a big deal so she just put on an adult diaper, took some Percocet and performed while she was miscarrying. She was talking it up like saying she was "screaming on a hotel bed, bloody, naked from the waist down" and "Oh it was the angriest performance I've ever done in my life, I was bleeding through my clothes" just being really dramatic. Maybe it really did happen but she just always has this vibe that makes everything she says seem fake.
There's other things, like she says she had endometriosis and had surgery to manage it but people on PULL autistically went over pictures of her with her stomach exposed and there were no keyhole surgery scars, and shit like how she calls paparazzi on herself, chases clout, cheats on her boyfriends, but I feel like a lot of that could be more "girls being catty and wildly speculating" instead of people noticing inconsistencies or others coming out and saying "well actually it was like this."
The whole "hotel shampoo is racist" incident was pretty funny though.
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2017
Yeah there's no way that miscarriage thing happened. Or that she was even pregnant (enough for people to notice, at least) at that point in her career.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2017
I really don't get this. A lot of old timey rock stars were absolutely insane but I can't imagine how someone like Guthrie Govan or Marcus Miller could be considered a lolcow.
As for my nomination, Jimmy Page. Paedophile, heroin addict, into Crowley and weird occult shit, and once insisted on being interviewed in a field. Still a great guitarist, though.
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2017
Marco Minnemann would, though.
He's one of the best drummers ever. He's also a total drama queen and absolute entitled cunt of the highest order.
-DId NOT handle failing the Dream Theater audition well
-Left Steven Wilson mid tour, some time before Wilson was to receive certification awards for the Hand. Cannot. Erase. tour and then Wilson did get the awards and Govan didn't, he spent two years assblasting Wilson over awards HE CHOSE not to accept on Twitter
-Main project is a shitty Animals as Leaders knockoff band named The Aristocrats
Ill forever be happy for his performances on The Raven... and Hand. Cannot. Erase., but my god the guy needs to get off his high horse.
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2019
Name? Sounds like good thread material imo.
Islamic Creampie
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2017
Lana Del Ray.
Jeff Boomhauer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2020
There was also the time she performed so badly on SNL, the cast made fun of her on the next week's show.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
I don't know if they count as full cows, but anyone watching the non-stop soap opera that has been Finnish folk-metal band Nightwish over the last 15 years has been gifted many laughs by the sheer drama surrounding the band. The band is basically run by keyboardist/songwriter Tuomas Holopainen as his own personal fiefdom/travelling circus of the ridiculous.
First major incident was in 2005, when then-vocalist Tarja Turunen gave a bizarre interview with Metal Hammer where she said "I'm not a metal singer, I just sing for a metal band" amongst other things that openly suggested she hated the band's music and hated Tuomas in particular despite them having formed the band as schoolfriends. Turunen was a notorious diva and prima donna who famously refused to ever touch any of the band's equipment, and would not even move her own mic stand, instead standing stock still until a sweaty roadie ran onto the stage and did it for her.
The following year the band fired Tarja, with Tuomas writing a 3000-word open letter to her on the band's website shitting on her for all the various insane things they claimed she'd done, ranging from flying to Argentina for a holiday with her husband in the middle of recording an album to cancelling a sold-out gig in Oslo so she could go to the cinema instead. Turunen responded in kind on her Livejournal and called Tuomas a liar and a control freak. The result was a PR catastrophe for the band, with differing fans taking the side of Tuomas and Tarja and warring with each other across the internet.
Turunen's replacement was Swedish singer Annette Olzon, whose vocal style and range were so different to Turunen's that she couldn't sing most of the band's old material at gigs, which didn't go down well with the band's already divided fanbase. The first single from their next album was entitled "Bye Bye Beautiful" and consisted of all the members of the band taking it in turns to shit on Tarja Turunen. The chorus lyrics were:
Did you ever hear what I told you?
Did you ever read what I wrote you?
Did you ever listen to what we played?
Did you ever let in what the world said?
Did we get this far just to feel your hate?
Did we play to become only pawns in the game?
How blind can you be, don't you see?
You chose the long road but we'll be waiting
This was accompanied by a video in which Annette Olzon defeats an evil witch who looks suspiciously like Tarja. Tarja, for her part, released a video for her first solo album of her stalking and beating up a rapist who looked a lot like Tuomas. Turunen's solo career sank like a stone and she's now reduced to putting out albums of Christmas carols. Olzon was then fired, allegedly for getting pregnant. By this time the band was on their third drummer and their second bassist.
Next up front for Nightwish was experienced Dutch singer Floor Jansen, tremendously technically capable (and able to sing both Turunen's and Olzon's material in her sleep) but more importantly with a reputation as a money-driven musical mercenary who wouldn't bruise Tuomas' fragile ego by doing things like writing songs or voicing opinions. With the band now firmly under Tuomas' control, his ego took over. He started dressing like Jack Sparrow at gigs and hired a roadie to play flute without asking anyone. The band released a concept album about evolution, getting Richard Dawkins to do a series of voice-overs, which annoyed the more spiritual-hippy end of the fanbase. At the end of the tour they played London's Wembley Arena, filming the gig for a DVD. They got Dawkins himself to walk out on stage at the end and deliver a speech about evolution. A nervous Dawkins dropped his notes and fluffed his lines.
Las week bassist/vocalist Marco Heitala (the only other musician in the band on Tuomas' level) quit, citing financial concerns, though rumours abounded that Tuomas felt threatened by his musical skill and forced him out.
The band are on their third vocalist, fourth drummer and are now looking for their third bassist. This is particularly awkward as Marco Heitala's tremendous vocal ability was a big part of the sound in the albums he played on and they won't be able to play any of it live unless they can find a bassist who is also a world-class operatic baritone. Good luck.
First major incident was in 2005, when then-vocalist Tarja Turunen gave a bizarre interview with Metal Hammer where she said "I'm not a metal singer, I just sing for a metal band" amongst other things that openly suggested she hated the band's music and hated Tuomas in particular despite them having formed the band as schoolfriends. Turunen was a notorious diva and prima donna who famously refused to ever touch any of the band's equipment, and would not even move her own mic stand, instead standing stock still until a sweaty roadie ran onto the stage and did it for her.
The following year the band fired Tarja, with Tuomas writing a 3000-word open letter to her on the band's website shitting on her for all the various insane things they claimed she'd done, ranging from flying to Argentina for a holiday with her husband in the middle of recording an album to cancelling a sold-out gig in Oslo so she could go to the cinema instead. Turunen responded in kind on her Livejournal and called Tuomas a liar and a control freak. The result was a PR catastrophe for the band, with differing fans taking the side of Tuomas and Tarja and warring with each other across the internet.
Turunen's replacement was Swedish singer Annette Olzon, whose vocal style and range were so different to Turunen's that she couldn't sing most of the band's old material at gigs, which didn't go down well with the band's already divided fanbase. The first single from their next album was entitled "Bye Bye Beautiful" and consisted of all the members of the band taking it in turns to shit on Tarja Turunen. The chorus lyrics were:
Did you ever hear what I told you?
Did you ever read what I wrote you?
Did you ever listen to what we played?
Did you ever let in what the world said?
Did we get this far just to feel your hate?
Did we play to become only pawns in the game?
How blind can you be, don't you see?
You chose the long road but we'll be waiting
This was accompanied by a video in which Annette Olzon defeats an evil witch who looks suspiciously like Tarja. Tarja, for her part, released a video for her first solo album of her stalking and beating up a rapist who looked a lot like Tuomas. Turunen's solo career sank like a stone and she's now reduced to putting out albums of Christmas carols. Olzon was then fired, allegedly for getting pregnant. By this time the band was on their third drummer and their second bassist.
Next up front for Nightwish was experienced Dutch singer Floor Jansen, tremendously technically capable (and able to sing both Turunen's and Olzon's material in her sleep) but more importantly with a reputation as a money-driven musical mercenary who wouldn't bruise Tuomas' fragile ego by doing things like writing songs or voicing opinions. With the band now firmly under Tuomas' control, his ego took over. He started dressing like Jack Sparrow at gigs and hired a roadie to play flute without asking anyone. The band released a concept album about evolution, getting Richard Dawkins to do a series of voice-overs, which annoyed the more spiritual-hippy end of the fanbase. At the end of the tour they played London's Wembley Arena, filming the gig for a DVD. They got Dawkins himself to walk out on stage at the end and deliver a speech about evolution. A nervous Dawkins dropped his notes and fluffed his lines.
Las week bassist/vocalist Marco Heitala (the only other musician in the band on Tuomas' level) quit, citing financial concerns, though rumours abounded that Tuomas felt threatened by his musical skill and forced him out.
The band are on their third vocalist, fourth drummer and are now looking for their third bassist. This is particularly awkward as Marco Heitala's tremendous vocal ability was a big part of the sound in the albums he played on and they won't be able to play any of it live unless they can find a bassist who is also a world-class operatic baritone. Good luck.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2017
Mozart may have been a musical genius and a brilliant prodigy but he was also a total lolcow as well. He loved Family Guy-tier vulgar humor and even wrote classical songs with lyrics like "Lick My Ass" and the dude even was playing with toy soldiers well into his twenties and early thirties.
If it weren't for the fact he was a musical genius and Antonio Salieri doing everything he could to preserve Mozart's legacy (despite what Amadeus portrayed, Salieri was actually a close friend of Mozart and even made sure to take care of his wife Constance and son Karl after Mozart died penniless)
If it weren't for the fact he was a musical genius and Antonio Salieri doing everything he could to preserve Mozart's legacy (despite what Amadeus portrayed, Salieri was actually a close friend of Mozart and even made sure to take care of his wife Constance and son Karl after Mozart died penniless)
Jar-Jar Fanboy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 22, 2020
Can I hear more about Mick Mars? All I know is that he's like 10 years older than the other guys in the band, and has some bone condition that prevents him from moving, but I've never heard any stories about him being a creepy autist
jimsterlingspronoun
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2020
isnt pretty much every musician a lolcow?