NewOld Hoarded Content - Chris' lovely times with his hooker

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Alec Benson Leary said:
This is exactly it. He was inventing excuses on the fly to win an argument. Chris forms opinions in the reverse of what is logical (and in the same manner as many lolcows): he decides you're wrong and he's right, then he looks for excuses to justify his assumption.

He may think about toon world once in a while, but in the same vein as cwcville: a daydream that gives him reprieve from whatever stress the real world is handing him this moment. He doesn't "believe" in anything strongly.
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Whether or not Chris's world is real has become a moot point ever since Sonichu was stabbed to death.
 
Tenacious D said:
I think you are being extremely optimistic. You are talking about a man who claimed that Cwcville exists in a parallel reality called Toon World. He also believes that the dean of his community college was the head of a massive conspiracy to stop Chris from finding true love because she believes "Virginia is for virgins". He tried to solve this by launching a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha attack on her but, in an act of generosity, later withdrew the curse and gave her a Forgiveness Blessing instead. He also believes he can cure homosexuality with a magic spell called the Hono (which is a bit redundant because he also believes you can cure homosexuality by imbibing his blood - yummy!).

If you can, with no hint of irony, claim that Chris is capable of distinguising between reality and fantasy, I would suggest that you haven't been paying much attention for the last nine years.
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Couple of things to point out.
Chris thought his awesome voodoo powers worked because of troll influence, the forgiveness blessing is equally part of that influence. Chris thinks he has awesome powers because trolls told him he had.
Chris does not think his blood can cure gay....he got the idea from family guy just like everything in his comic it was a second hand idea.
There line between thinking something is possible (ufos, magic,the force, ghosts, a good justice league movie) and actually belief in something but autism blurs that line.
The best example i can give is getting too sleep after a scary movie.
You know that what you saw wasnt real, you know it doesnt exist, you know sharks cant get you on land but theres part of your brain that says "what if" so you keep the light on a bit longer. Most adults seldom experience that after childhood but its quite common in adults on the spectrum.
 
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It always struck me that Chris has a very child-like view of reality and fiction. At least it reminds me of when I was a child. I would see some characters in a book or a show, and saw them existing in their own world, which I was given a glimpse into. Did I think that was literally how it was? No. But I didn't spend much time dwelling on that.

And I viewed places I had never been on a similar level. I could only know about them through books, movies and television.

I appreciated intellectually that Japan is real and Narnia isn't. But in my gut, I perceived them as a lot more similar than I do as an adult.

I think Chris still sees things this way. In his mind, CWCville is whirring away. If for you, the real world is black and fiction is white, for Chris fiction is grey.
 
Chris flip flops on how he feels on his dick size quite often. Not sure if that's normal considering I don't have a penis... But honestly; he went from being sad it was small when Kacey told him Her Chris was 9 inches or whatever. Then he was happy cuz he "was bigger and not bent like previously photographed". And then he got sad because it wasn't really bigger and he wanted to get a doctor to prescribe him something. Then Mia, a hooker, comes in and tell him he's got a big one (obviously lying) and he's all like "I'd rip her doors off their hinges". A couple months later he was sad about how small he was again.

Then, fast forward a couple months into the lesbian moms scene, and Chris goes from "I hate my dick" to "hurr hurr I'm gonna fuck some lesbians with my huge cock!! Watch this!! (Insert video)". And then back to "I hate my dick! Let's make me a vagina!!"

Do normal men think this much about their dick size??
 
You know, I would take CDs of Bob's jazz marathon as a gift because from what I have, they're pretty awesome. I'm just not sure that a sex worker would appreciate rare Jazz from a Southern man in his 60s (ish) as a gift.

I'm surprised he didn't try to give her Pokeballs or something.
 
4Macie said:
Do normal men think this much about their dick size??
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Yes, but normal guys know the size of their dick, and realize that it is what it is, and isn't going to grow after puberty. Also, most guys don't have a horrifying 45 degree bend in their penis.
 
Karen Riley said:
I'm not disputing or agreeing with anything else but I've always thought that this aspect of Chris has always been overstated by some people. A throwaway phone conversation where he was trying to make Alec stop misusing his characters has been taken as 100% fact that Chris believes all his characters really exist in an alternate world, when he hasn't really said or done much else to suggest that he genuinely believes it.
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His belief in his autistic vodoo powers are quite telling to me...Classic autistic special attacks apart, when he was on a full on facebook war against Megan he came up with this goddamn idiocy and later even used it like a bargaining point to make her "apologize"

He also gloated about how he took away her Megtune powers and how Megan's own Sonic recolor agreed with him on Megan being a bitch. Like if anyone without serious brain damage would take his kindergarten ramblings even remotely seriously (Specially funny the Megtune part, since back in the day she already told Chris that she didn't even want to be featured on his semen stained doodles and that it creeped the fuck out of her)

I would say Chris sense of reality is equivalent of that of a 4 year old. Or maybe all that shit is just a (astoundingly stupid) coping mechanism. Probably some imbecilic mix of both.

I really shocked the bitch, and I gave the Trolls another thing to worry about from me. I am finally giving THEM a scare back
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Shit like this....actually makes me genuinelly pity the fool...the poor idiot thinks he can be scary or get respect from trolls....he think he is....relevant. Most probably he made Cogsdev day by contacting personally.

The fact that the trolls are not evil minions on his epic life journey but just some bored kids fucking around with him because he is an utterly ridiculous cartoon of a human being never crossed his mind. Fuck, on a good day he actually thinks trolls envy him.
 
MMX said:
Chris thought his awesome voodoo powers worked because of troll influence, the forgiveness blessing is equally part of that influence. Chris thinks he has awesome powers because trolls told him he had.
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That's just not true. He was casting magic spells on Mary Lee Walsh years before any trolls found him. He was channeling Sonichu in conversations years before any trolls found him. He was convinced that Godbear had sent prophetic dreams ordering him to father Crystal Weston Chandler years before any trolls found him.

You can put a lot of blame on certain trolls for encouraging Chris to follow destructive modes of thought, but you cannot pretend that his brand of insanity was created by the trolls. Chris literally believed he had magic powers and he tried to use these magic powers against people long, long before ED discovered him.
 
Tenacious D said:
That's just not true. He was casting magic spells on Mary Lee Walsh years before any trolls found him. He was channeling Sonichu in conversations years before any trolls found him. He was convinced that Godbear had sent prophetic dreams ordering him to father Crystal Weston Chandler years before any trolls found him.

You can put a lot of blame on certain trolls for encouraging Chris to follow destructive modes of thought, but you cannot pretend that his brand of insanity was created by the trolls. Chris literally believed he had magic powers and he tried to use these magic powers against people long, long before ED discovered him.
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This could be a point @Marvin could help me out on.
My dealings were mostly with Phil/ADF. I always took any talk about his past with a grain of salt because hes an awfully unreliable narrator and i think chris is the same way. Both phil and chris are autistic and have revised a lot of events in their life to fit in with their "head canon".
Autistic children tend to speak "through" something when they need to express themselves often a sub personality or a object or toy. They dont believe that whatever the channel is "exists" its just simply a method they use to cope with stress or something they dont like dealing with. It "exists" in much the same way the emotions from inside out dont really exist but are a metaphor for a very real process.
In the case of the mary lee walsh incident this may have been Chris "channelling" sonichu to say what he wanted to say but lacked the confidence to do so himself. It was not "Chris" saying it but "confident chris" as sonichu and if he got in trouble then it was sonichu who said it not chris so by the power of autism he cant be blamed....in theory.
Or maybe it just didnt happen and chris revised the event to make it more like the comic book encounter.
Again his "attack" on mary may well have just been him using the one weapon he had "imagination" since he couldn't do something without esculating the situation.....or it just didnt happen.
Im not saying chris outright lied but he has a tendancy to bend the truth to a level of thinking that suits him, like how Synder hurled himself at the car that was totally at a stop.
The bottom line is chris is autistic and (optimistically) your not.
You understand a dream is a dream and not a god gifted vision, you understand that the voice in your head is "thought process" and not an electric hedgehog doing your thinking and giving u love tips, if you use "magic" and your target reacts you assume they are fucking with you not that your a tenth level mage.
Chris wasnt exactly a popular kid and didnt have a social circle, it was just mostly chris and Tv and :autism: so he picked up more than a few terrible ideas.
I mean come on Chris thinks Ghost hunting programmes are legit.

To pull an example from the ADF play book.
Phil makes autistic threats about murdering kiwis with RPGS and curses because its gets a reaction. He gets attention and will react so he keeps doing it. And because he has no other way of fucking with us.
Chris took away megans sailor powers because.....he literally has no power over her so he made an attention play and in head canon world he won. It was an autistic "sick burn" that Megan will never here or care about.
 
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Nacho Man Randy Salsa said:
It's a good thing the whore "retired" otherwise Chris would might have to deal with her pimp, assuming she belongs to one, and that wouldn't have turned out well at all.
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The very idea that Chris thought he could have a relationship with this girl is frightening. What exactly was he going to tell Barb when Mia came home at four in the morning or whatever? Hell, what would Chris have done to Mia? It's for the best this naïve manchild didn't get his "sweetheart" out of her. He'd probably be lying in a ditch somewhere otherwise.
 
drmccoy said:
You know, I would take CDs of Bob's jazz marathon as a gift because from what I have, they're pretty awesome. I'm just not sure that a sex worker would appreciate rare Jazz from a Southern man in his 60s (ish) as a gift.

I'm surprised he didn't try to give her Pokeballs or something.
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I got the impression, from Chris giving her little sentimental gifts about himself, he pretty much thought he had a girlfriend, a paid girlfriend. Although it touched my heart as he sounded like he genuinely cared about her. Made me imagine a glimmer of a different Chris that could have been in a love relationship.
 
InTheSidePocket said:
The very idea that Chris thought he could have a relationship with this girl is frightening. What exactly was he going to tell Barb when Mia came home at four in the morning or whatever? Hell, what would Chris have done to Mia? It's for the best this naïve manchild didn't get his "sweetheart" out of her. He'd probably be lying in a ditch somewhere otherwise.
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Still, the thought of Chris interacting with a real life scary pimp does amuse me somewhat.
 
4Macie said:
Chris flip flops on how he feels on his dick size quite often. Not sure if that's normal considering I don't have a penis... But honestly; he went from being sad it was small when Kacey told him Her Chris was 9 inches or whatever. Then he was happy cuz he "was bigger and not bent like previously photographed". And then he got sad because it wasn't really bigger and he wanted to get a doctor to prescribe him something. Then Mia, a hooker, comes in and tell him he's got a big one (obviously lying) and he's all like "I'd rip her doors off their hinges". A couple months later he was sad about how small he was again.

Then, fast forward a couple months into the lesbian moms scene, and Chris goes from "I hate my dick" to "hurr hurr I'm gonna fuck some lesbians with my huge cock!! Watch this!! (Insert video)". And then back to "I hate my dick! Let's make me a vagina!!"

Do normal men think this much about their dick size??
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My doors slammed shut just reading his love story. Chris really doesn't have a clue. How can anyone get to their 30s ( and watch as much tv as he does ) and believe it when a prostitute tells you that you are the best ever. ! And bringing a prostitute out to lunch ? And apples in a gift basket ?? It's astounding. Chris's brain is truly wired in a unique way
 
JULAY said:
Yes, but normal guys know the size of their dick, and realize that it is what it is, and isn't going to grow after puberty. Also, most guys don't have a horrifying 45 degree bend in their penis.
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To quote Chris, "Heartaches alone are trite." to which I'd add, 'but a bent duck is Hell'. On a more serious note, having seen his penis before (and how I wish I could unseen it now but at least I've yet to behold the unclit taint, there is only so much my poor mind can take), it baffles me how he never saw a doctor about it. I thought people were exaggerating but it really is bent 45 degrees and looks damaged. That should have bothered him much more than the actual size.
Unless he did see a doctor? I know his parents were very keen on making sure he was 'mainstreamed' as they put it but they were no averse to regular medical practices, as far as I can tell. I am assuming his penis was odd from a very early age, in which case his mother or father must have seen it.
 
Barb believing Chris story about Mia fucking his tard-spawn out of the blue and for free (specially with his present look) also indicates how detached from reality she also is.

Supposing she actually buys it. Maybe she thinks the whole thing is some made up autistic delirium or suspects she was a hooker. I don't think she cares anyways as long as his little Igor still goes fetching q-sands for her.

On the other hand she (and Bob) believed in past sweethearts...
 
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