Plagued Nice Guys

SamTheEagle said:
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"M'lady, you and I could be just like the Joker and Harley."
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The spelling adds wonderfully to this monumental pile of 'tism.
 
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Abortions4All said:
Abused girls are exactly the right target audience for these guys, because they don't even know they should challenge this kind of behavior. If you've been getting sexually assaulted or beaten by your parents on the regular, someone who only makes you center them at all times and emotionally manipulates you into revolving 100% of your life around them might seem like a relief...or at least something really hard for that person to call "abuse" when their standards have been so skewed.
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I'm certain that describes my mothers relationship with my step father, I'm sure he thinks of himself as a nice guy who was there to pick my mother up.

The worry you have as an adult is that you will end up mirroring your parents relationship and I've had to constantly check myself.
For example, the only girlfriend my step father has shown any interest in (creepy shit like "hey are you still seeing the girl you brought round the other week. Why not bring her around again?") has a history of major abuse, it was like he had some kind of radar. Then there was a recent girlfriend who I suddenly realized reminded me of my mother, and that killed it stone dead for me.

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

Philip Larkin
 
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Too Many Crooks said:
Since when was The Joker ever a "nice guy?" :lol: When there's speculation about his identity, he used to be a typical gangster before becoming The Joker (sans The Killing Joke).
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Nice Guys identify with manic pixie dream rom-coms and anime.
Edgy Nice Guys identify with JokerxHarley and tired "love is madness" cliches.
 
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SamTheEagle said:
Damsel-in-distress/white knight fantasy, really. Dating a victim of cheating/abuse means you're rescuing her from a monster and then living happily ever after. It's probably why Nice Guys obsess over chivalry and say "m'lady."

Nothing wrong with wanting to help someone, of course, but these guys seem more interested in the damsel rewarding them for their efforts, as opposed to genuinely helping a fellow human being through hard times. They want a fairy tale, not a relationship.
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That is one of the most insightful looks into the "Nice Guy " fantasy. They want to be the hero. They want the girl to cling to them after a bout of passionate sex and tell him " No one has ever treated me as good as you".

Which, hey, I'll grant you, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be a hero (but if you actually want to be a REAL hero, guess what, you're probably going to have to live a lifestyle that puts your own life at risk, possibly on a daily basis! And chances are, you'll be an unsung hero). But these guys, they just want to be validated and told how great they are. This is probably because in their own life, no one values them.

You know, I actually suspect that any "nice guy" who sees a woman they are attracted to with a man who is easily more attractive than them, they immediately jump to " why is she with that jerk?" "I would treat her like a queen" "he probably beats her and rapes her every night"
 
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Alec Benson Leary said:
Can anyone explain to me the origin of "m'lady"? I get that it's a dumbshit thing they say to sound chivalrous, but why did this one phrase get so ubiquitous like that?
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Looking through some stuff, that's a hard one to describe: it appears to have just popped up suddenly a little just after the "tipping fedora" meme first showed up. However, it has been around, and had steady popularity before hand.

https://www.google.com/trends/explore#q=m'lady

So I suppose the origins are just someone found this one term funny and compared it to the shitty "formal" gesture that these type of people perceive when they tip their fedora. However, it was getting used beforehand, and thus was the perfect term due to its popularity beforehand.

I.E. the m'lady meme derives from the tipping meme, and it exact origins are unknown-- some people just started to use it in conjunction with the fedora meme, and it grew from there.
 
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Alec Benson Leary said:
Can anyone explain to me the origin of "m'lady"? I get that it's a dumbshit thing they say to sound chivalrous, but why did this one phrase get so ubiquitous like that?
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I think it might've been a post by/about a nice guy where he addressed the woman he was creeping on as "m'lady" in an attempt to seem polite and endearing.
 
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Bork Laser said:
I'm gonna be serious about gay things for once but @bearycool are their any gay "Nice Guys"?
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Not beary, but I can shed some light on this: yes.

The near whole of my interpersonal experiences with things like dating and whatnot take place in the furry fandom where ultra cringe runs rampant. Negating the semantics of whether or not someone is "jailhouse gay" or legitimately homosexual, the fandom is chock full of beta orbiters that generally gravitate toward popular artists, people with cute fursuits, or people generally popular in the fandom. They behave identical to "Nice Guys", too; they are socially awkward/maladjusted, nonconfrontational, seem to prefer only small talk, and try to inject themselves into the lives of the people they follow at any given opportunity.

That said, surely this notion of having gay "Nice Guys" would apply outside of the fandom in situations where there are cute gay guys or gay men that one would perceive to be "out of their league" who would be hounded by thirsty betas.
 
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Galvatron said:
You know, I actually suspect that any "nice guy" who sees a woman they are attracted to with a man who is easily more attractive than them, they immediately jump to " why is she with that jerk?" "I would treat her like a queen" "he probably beats her and rapes her every night"
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Guy in college who roomed next to me was like that. He was after a girl who was dating someone who knew someone on our floor, and he was all "I'm so much better than him, he treats her like shit" when he didn't know anything about the guy. Turns out the other guy was perfectly fine, and he was just projecting.
 
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DrJonesHat said:
Guy in college who roomed next to me was like that. He was after a girl who was dating someone who knew someone on our floor, and he was all "I'm so much better than him, he treats her like shit" when he didn't know anything about the guy. Turns out the other guy was perfectly fine, and he was just projecting.
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The nice guy hasn't taken any risks or achieved any growth in his life, so the only way he can feel strong and virtuous is by trying to make everyone else look terrible by comparison.
 
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Legatus Lanius said:
Is it just a matter of change the target pronouns? Are they still disgusting neckbeards and fedora wearers, or does the gay subculture have special cases of nice guys?
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Little of A little of B. Quite a few of them are the screaming queens that are convinced that if you are gay, you are obliged to fuck them. So they'll worm their way into your friend circle hoping to get dick.
 
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