Nintendo Switch 2 - For the Soytendo consoomers to speculate about the successor to the Switch, recently announced for 2025.

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I want to rip on Nintendo and all the shit things they’re doing, and yet, I know that I’m totally buying one at some point and playing it in my cuckshed
I'd also like to buy one to replace my old console further down the line once they've figured out all the HD upgrade shit, cut the price and actually have some fucking games. The only justifiable reason to buy it on launch is to homebrew it, which hopefully ends up happening sooner rather than later.

I hope I and others are right and sales lag hard enough to take the console down by the same peg the 3DS did after its horrible launch year. However, the fist of consumerism has tightened around the necks of Americans so much over the last 15 years, maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up too high. The gaming industry in particular has gotten away with so much anti-consumer shit over the last decade, wouldn't be surprised if people consoom themselves into getting the Switch 2 to surpass the PS2's record, and buy more copies of MKW than MK8.
It's so baffling how lazily made MKW seems to be in a lot of areas. Every costume is its own character slot, meanwhile MK8 figured it out 10 years ago.
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I think we understand now why Goytendo went after the Switch emulators so harshly... because that's what the Switch 2 has to do in order to play Switch 1 games. Meaning Switch 2 might as well be cracked at launch. I can't wait to Yar Har Fiddle Dee Dee all the way across the sea.
The only interesting thing about the switch2 is to see how fast it can be hacked after release. Then we can sit back and laugh and watch the nintendo 90 dollars baby games get pirated.
 
Um, excuse you but there are FLAME decals on World's windmills which mean it's obviously better. Anyone claiming 8 is better for being "atmospheric" are just poorfags coping.
The bigger issue is that it's been 11 years since the last Mario Kart released and that's the best they can do. It doesn't help the direct showed the game drop to 30fps the moment 3 players were in a lobby despite the hilariously outdated and low spec requirement cartoonish design.
 
I want to rip on Nintendo and all the shit things they’re doing, and yet, I know that I’m totally buying one at some point and playing it in my cuckshed. I hate being such a diehard Nintendrone. Also, first time here, sorry if I do or say something too newfaggish. I would be on /v/ right now arguing with snoys if Hiro and rapeape weren’t retarded.
My kids love Nintendo. And i’m sure they will want one once a new Animal Crossing is available. My oldest racked up 600 hours alone on AC.
 
It definitely doesn’t look like an $80 game, no. Like despite being a “Nintendo Direct” it was basically just an extended version of the same trailer we saw at the Switch 2 reveal. The only real difference is:
  1. They confirm that yes, by going through roadside drive throughs, you can costume change. This was obvious enough from the footage provided at the Switch 2 reveal. But it does seem strictly limited to “Yoshi’s” diners. Also, once you unlock an outfit, you keep it, which was something that wasn’t clear in the Treehouse streams.
  2. They focus on smaller nobody characters getting their debut, like being able to race as a Goomba, and, uh, “Cow.” Nintendo’s boundless creativity at work there. But we knew this from the Treehouse streams.
  3. There is stuff out there in the open world. They mention 300 “missions.” We see a grand total of one. They also mention collectible medallions can be discovered. We also see a grand total of one. Picking up the Peach medallion seems to unlock a costume for Wario.
And that’s… not anything worth $80. Like a lot of this is stuff open world racing games were doing with Burnout Paradise back in 2008. There were kids born the same year Burnout Paradise released that are legally allowed to drive real cars now.

You know how much I paid for Burnout Paradise Remastered on the Switch? I think it was like $10. $20 tops.

Mario Kart 8 released 11 years ago, and I know this open world looks big and all, but at least spoil a couple more surprises. The game releases in two months. You can show off two or three or even four different mission types.

THAT, that to me feels like ego. That’s “It’s Mario Kart, it outsold every game on earth besides Minecraft, GTA5, Wii Sports, and Ark. You people will buy it no matter what.”

Also? The more I think about it, the more 24 racers at the same time sounds like a nightmare. Mario Kart Wii was bad enough when it was 12. And now you automatically hold all your items out by default. You know what I hated the most about Mario Kart Wii? How often you’d get blasted by something that would knock items out of your hands. It’s going to be the same thing. You aren’t going to be able to hold on to anything for more than ten seconds.

No thanks. As it continues to sink in, the more I begin waiting for Nintendo’s apology tour on this thing. What are the Ambassador games going to be? A free copy of Super Mario 3D All-Stars?
 
I mean personally I never bought the last Mario Kart so none of this means a lot to me
 
that has a bunch of the same problems that MK8 and 7 had and will have (cheating, bad multiplayer, snaking, weird stats and meta, boring tracks)
>cheating
>snaking

Is that why sometimes there will be a fucker using yoshi with baby blue small wheels that will be lightyears ahead of everyone else even though it's supposed to have piss-poor speed? I had a feeling people were finding ways to abuse the system.
 
Animal crossing is so gay. “Fuuurrrrdddhh in the next one you can put more gay shit in you virtual retard house and now you can craft different types of shoes!!!

Nigga, how is it you can have gameplay so fucking boring and gay that it makes pong look like the sims in comparison?

Has anyone, any fucking nigger in the history of earth, been like “wow I can’t wait to visit your homosexual virtual Nintendo home with non-interactive objects!! All I need to do is talk to a Npc and enter a 86785447 long digit code to get there!!”

Fuck animal crossing.
 
I want to rip on Nintendo and all the shit things they’re doing, and yet, I know that I’m totally buying one at some point
agreed ill probably hold of for a few months but Nintendo is the really the last of its kind, Everything else Worthwhile is on Steam but Nintendo has resisted PC Gamer's demands thus far and I don't see them breaking that for a long time if at all.
 
>cheating
>snaking

Is that why sometimes there will be a fucker using yoshi with baby blue small wheels that will be lightyears ahead of everyone else even though it's supposed to have piss-poor speed? I had a feeling people were finding ways to abuse the system.
The actual answer is super autistic, but another thing they should fix in MK9 (and won't).

The Yoshi (or one of the other 3 in his weight class) + Bear + Roller Combo give the best stats, but in particular has the most "boost/mini boost" stat. It powers up drift/stunt boosting in a game full of drift/stunt boosting. Makes the boosts much more powerful and on top of it, charges them quicker (for drift boosts). You might think "why doesn't everyone just build for that, sounds like the best stat"

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Because it's not listed as a stat in-game, but is a "hidden" stat inside the game. The game has had the data extracted, but the equipment screen has 5 stats, but there's actually 7 stats and Speed and Handling have 4 substats each (Speed on Ground, in Air, in Water, on Anti-Gravity wheels, Handling on same) - if you ever wondered why it feels like you're going slower while gliding, you might actually be going slower while gliding and not know it. Your character also has a complex relationship with Size and Weight, there's a chance that would have no idea. In this example, Yoshi is considered "S+" tier, but Toad is D tier. Koopa Troopa and Dry Bones are in different weight classes. There are 3 weight classes (Light, Medium, Heavy) but each weight has 5 subdivisions each (and the Piranha Plant is in his own special class). You would need to use a website like https://mk8dxbuilder.com/ if you really wanted to play around with your meta, which most people don't do.

So building the best boost kart and then boosting every possible second you can is the current meta in online and once you get to like ~3400 rating, you're going to see a lot of it if you give a shit about Online Rating. Some matches can and will be 12 Yoshis all on Bears.

There's also track glitches, unintended shortcuts, pluggers, and even the occasional hacker that have been around since MK7.

In addition to "only some players know about the best kart" issue caused by hidden stats - here are a few other issues it creates.
- Mario Kart actually has two classes of Motorcycle. "Sport Bikes" and "Not Sport Bikes" - with Sport Bikes actually drifting in like you'd expect a racing motorcycle to with Dirt Bikes/Choppers doing "normal" drifts. This is never explained or even notated in game.
- Mario Kart will actually let you build specific karts for specific tracks (based on the hidden stats). You can build a kart that really excels in specific tracks (like a the Fzero track that's mostly water) but the actual game never uses this.
- You can mistakenly think that two items are the same without ever being told they're drastically different.

It would be really nice if MK9 avoided some of these massive pitfalls and actually calmed down on the stats and let it be a fun kart racing game - the actual "behind the scenes" is more complex then some arcade racers for 0 discernable reason.

MK8 had like 50 characters, MK9 is (allegedly) going to have 80+ - so if they didn't actually design with these problems in mind, they're about to get a whole lot worse - because more characters means more weight classes, more kart items, etc. The only thing I've seen (and it wasn't highlighted) in any of the preview stuff is that in MK9 the Karts are just "as-is" and you no longer build them, so maybe they are trying to fix it.
 
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