Nintendo Switch 2 - For the Soytendo consoomers to speculate about the successor to the Switch, recently announced for 2025.

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The funniest part about the Nintendo Classics app is that there's like 20 apps because the niggers at Nintendo thought it was a good idea to have different versions of the app on a console by console basis. I think there's even two N64 apps because some games are more risque than others.

Like as a bonus for subscribing to the Nintendo service, opening an app with the entire Nintendo archive would be pretty cool but they still managed to make it weird.
 
The way you have to download each console's library and store it all at once irks me more than anything. It was acceptable for cartridge-based games that topped out at 64MB, sure. Then they got to discs and they're STILL DOING IT and the GameCube app reaches into the tens of gigabytes. Fuck off, just let me download the games I'll actually play.
I really hoped they might switch models so you could just download individual games, but they rebranded to "Nintendo Classics" without changing how it worked at all, so they're content with it for the foreseeable future I guess.
Come on Nintendo, just copy this one thing Sony's doing better than you and let us buy OR rent the games. For everyone who just buys one game, you'll surely hook ten soyboys who subscribe AND buy all the games they like just for peace of mind.
 
Harman Smith said:
This is the definitive way to play retro Nintendo games, better than any emulator because you are not required to illegally download ROMs off of the internet.
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oooooo punch out
punchout.png
 
Was late to the direct, figured it wouldn't have anything of worth, and I was completely right. Still haven't bought a Switch 1.5
Tom Nook's Gloryhole said:
As it stands, I'm never going to buy a 'classic' game when A) They're going to fuck us over eventually and B) I have the ENTIRE FUCKING SNES LIBRARY in my emulation folder.
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Vyse Inglebard said:
If you haven't built up a physical gaming collection, or lack the physical space, or the money, the solution is obvious--what platform can give you everything, ALL the games, ALL the rare stuff, and ONLY what you want?
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By far the two best comments for the entire month of february so far.

Goytendo is full steam ahead trying to be Disney 2 electric booga-jew. They talk about movies more than they do games. Think about how much they made with the Switch, just think about that - and now look at what they do, or rather haven't done, with all those shekels. What's on the docket for 2026? Mario Tennis 15? Resident Evil that will be better on PC? Discount multiplayer Bloodborne? Nigger Fire Emblem - MAYBE. Absolutely lol. Any plans to celebrate Zelda/Metroid's 40th anniversaries? Nope, none that we know of. It's BARREN out there, poor bastards. Scuse me, I just downloaded a free ROM of Fire Emblem 7 on GBA that I want to try out.
 
We taking any bets on Elden Ring being cancelled, or released in such a poor way that it is unplayable. Someone was playing it at GDC in August and said it was unplayable. FF7 Remake being pushed to summer, when it has been delayed 2/3 times, is a really bad sign. Duskbloods is absolutely getting delayed too, honestly, they handled this worse than the PS3 launch.
 
Kier Starmer said:
We taking any bets on Elden Ring being cancelled, or released in such a poor way that it is unplayable. Someone was playing it at GDC in August and said it was unplayable. FF7 Remake being pushed to summer, when it has been delayed 2/3 times, is a really bad sign. Duskbloods is absolutely getting delayed too, honestly, they handled this worse than the PS3 launch.
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I think Elden Ring will come out sooner or later in a passable state. It can be cut down to size, even if they have to bring in outside help. It's not as technically ambitious as something like Borderlands 3 (delayed indefinitely) or Starfield (rumored started then shitcanned).
 
Dammit Mandrake! said:
Ex-Zodiac is amazing with a N64 controller.
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That game is real neat (hurry up and finish it guys) but tbh I don't even like Star Fox 64 with an N64 controller. Trying to hold your charge shot while doing a flip is like playing Twister with your fingers.

broners said:
It's funny how the best selling Arcade Archives game for Switch is always VS. Super Mario Bros.
Hundreds of arcade games to choose from and most tendies just want to play slightly edited Super Mario Bros.
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I do like the slight edits in that game, it's not as halfassed as most console-to-arcade ports. And I gotta say Hamster/AA is the only reason that Nintendo's 80s arcade games are officially available at all... Nintendo doesn't care, tendies don't really care either.
 
Calandrino said:
That game is real neat (hurry up and finish it guys) but tbh I don't even like Star Fox 64 with an N64 controller. Trying to hold your charge shot while doing a flip is like playing Twister with your fingers.
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You should try playing it while unlocking your charged shots.
This video is great and explains it for those that do not know. Back when these shows were about video games.
 
Lone MacReady II said:
Was late to the direct, figured it wouldn't have anything of worth, and I was completely right. Still haven't bought a Switch 1.5


By far the two best comments for the entire month of february so far.

Goytendo is full steam ahead trying to be Disney 2 electric booga-jew. They talk about movies more than they do games. Think about how much they made with the Switch, just think about that - and now look at what they do, or rather haven't done, with all those shekels. What's on the docket for 2026? Mario Tennis 15? Resident Evil that will be better on PC? Discount multiplayer Bloodborne? Nigger Fire Emblem - MAYBE. Absolutely lol. Any plans to celebrate Zelda/Metroid's 40th anniversaries? Nope, none that we know of. It's BARREN out there, poor bastards. Scuse me, I just downloaded a free ROM of Fire Emblem 7 on GBA that I want to try out.
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Tbf Duskbloods is probably my most anticipated game this year. Fromsoft is on a roll right now. Also the movie thing has me curious, do these actually effect console and game sales? The Mario movie was effectively a two hour commercial with no artistic value along the lines of something like He-Man: The Secret of the Sword or Transformers: The Movie, so did the movie convince kids to beg their parents for Nintendo shit? I imagine a $300-$500 game console and $60-$70 games are a harder sell than action figures in the 80s which probably cost a nickel or some shit.

Never Scored said:
It's still going to sell a boatload because banks give out consumer credit like candy and there are enough people dumb enough to go, "I have to play the new Zelda. Cost is not a factor." They are going to sell 70-million Switch 2s and 50-million of them are going to be financed through Klarna.
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If I ever take out a micro loan like that, shoot me because I've lost it.
 
Apparently I ordered a Virtual Boy headset thing from Nintendo. It showed up today.

VB doesn't drop until tomorrow but I have been using it on other games and it is awesome. Good work, drunk me!
 
Never Scored said:
The cardboard or the full sized one?
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The full sized one. I put it next to my actual VB and it is a pretty nice reproduction. One thing I did not do was check to see if the new stand works with the original system. It looked and felt about right.

If it does work, that is awesome. My VB stand has the dreaded fracture and cannot be used anymore. Replacement stands often go for more than the cost of the 100 dollar shell that I bought.

My optimistic hope is for the VB controller to get a release like the other systems. It is so unique and represents a really neat slice of history. Dual D-pads, dudes.
 
Dammit Mandrake! said:
The full sized one. I put it next to my actual VB and it is a pretty nice reproduction. One thing I did not do was check to see if the new stand works with the original system. It looked and felt about right.

If it does work, that is awesome. My VB stand has the dreaded fracture and cannot be used anymore. Replacement stands often go for more than the cost of the 100 dollar shell that I bought.

My optimistic hope is for the VB controller to get a release like the other systems. It is so unique and represents a really neat slice of history. Dual D-pads, dudes.
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Do you have the OLED Switch? I'm curious about how the blacks look using an OLED Switch in the stand vs the actual Virtual Boy. The deep blacks are the thing I always remember standing out about VB the few times I played it.
 
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Never Scored said:
Do you have the OLED Switch? I'm curious about how the blacks look using an OLED Switch in the stand vs the actual Virtual Boy. The deep blacks are the thing I always remember standing out about VB the few times I played it.
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I will test it out for you.

Using the S1 requires a (included) bracket to be replaced. Will see how that is as well.
 
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