”Every time The Kiwi Farms gets caught trying to condemn children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors, it promises it'll never do so again.”
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Spoiler adult content. Anything you wouldn't want your boss to see on your monitor should be hidden. Don't embed NSFW content in your post directly.
That was my coworkers daily catchphrase
It was like that when we got here
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
“This combination check cashing place and labor ready office is just what this corner needed!”
"Time to turn up the heat!"
"Stay cool"
You know I'd rather be damned with you
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"I'll make a GUI in Visual Basic, see if I can trace an IP Address."
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"My deathbed regret is not getting that Covid vaccine."
this guy are sick
kiwifarms.net
"This just keeps getting better."
"We've got company!"
"I could tell you, but I would have to kill you."
I haven’t lost my virginity because I don’t lose!
kiwifarms.net
I would put some castlevania dialogue but it’s all the fucking theater kids did last year in high-school before I graduated. “WHAT IS A MAN BUT A MISERABLE PIL OF SECRETS!?” is burned into my brain’s surface forever.
!Bigfoot! sightings please call 908-314-7784
kiwifarms.net
"This just keeps getting better."
Excellent, perfect example of what I had in mind. It's so awkward. I don't thibk I have ever heard anyone say this in real life when they could just say "great" sarcastically. And yet it pops up constantly in fiction.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
GREAT SARCASM GEEEEEE OHHHH HAHAHHAHHAHHAHA DESTROYING IT WITH THE SARCASMIMMMMMMM WHOAAAAAA
[ICE CAT INTENSIFIES]
kiwifarms.net
Repeating the first word of a sentence when confused e.g.: "Did... did you make that last one up?" It must be an American thing because I don't know a single person IRL that actually does this.
Your honor, my client can't help being a Gemini.
kiwifarms.net
"With all due respect. . ."
I say that sometimes... is the only cure suicide?
You can switch to saying "not for nothing, but...", but that's kind of like ripping off your jaw to solve a toothache.
!Bigfoot! sightings please call 908-314-7784
kiwifarms.net
What does "not for nothing but" even mean? I do hear that one in real life, and it baffles me.
Your honor, my client can't help being a Gemini.
kiwifarms.net
What does "not for nothing but" even mean? I do hear that one in real life, and it baffles me.
Basically, "what I'm about to say isn't that important, but it's my opinion on the matter so I believe it bears mentioning."
You can also use it to soften something that might be construed as offensive, like "not for nothing, but you dress like a fag."
Posthumous Grooming Victim
kiwifarms.net
Repeating the first word of a sentence when confused e.g.: "Did... did you make that last one up?" It must be an American thing because I don't know a single person IRL that actually does this.
A lazy way to convey a stutter to a lazy audience, where you instantly stutter at the start and spend no more time on the fake stuttering.
Not a spook, probably
kiwifarms.net
Repeating the first word of a sentence when confused e.g.: "Did... did you make that last one up?" It must be an American thing because I don't know a single person IRL that actually does this.
Is this a Seth MacFarlane thing or am I just having trouble thinking about anything else
Stewie comes clean with a cool head turn.
www.youtube.com
50 likes?
www.youtube.com
hold it in, do a dance
kiwifarms.net
Last night, life presented me with the chance of telling someone irl "I'm watching, when do I start learning" unironically.
I still feel dirty.
Yankee vampire living off the blood of the poor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
You obviously don't play shooters and like to be disappointed in your teammates
my contribution
"I'm sure glad we hired a fat chick"
Full Metal Sperg
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way."
"I was born ready."
"There's no time to explain."
"You're gonna wanna see this..."
"Who are you and what have you done with..."
"This just keeps getting better."
"We've got company!"
Spotted all the Millennial shut-ins.
I've got one for you:
"Sometimes monkeys die." It's not a good saying, but it's a saying.
!Bigfoot! sightings please call 908-314-7784
kiwifarms.net
Does that not automatically disqualify it?
Full Metal Sperg
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Does that not automatically disqualify it?
The whole line is a line from Friends.