Megathread Non-binary genders / Enbies - When Male and Female Aren't Special Enough

[Meowthkip]

Anyone else find it strange that seemingly 99% of non-binary people are girls (not women, girls)? Most of them don't even bother changing their appearance, then get all angry and upset when people call them "she".

It's a more politically correct version of "I'm not like other girls."

 

[AnOminous]

It's the new goth/emo scene. Black lipstick and Asking Alexandria is lame now.

It's a lot more annoying than goth or emo though. And you could spend a few years as a goth or an emo without ending up with a micropenis and permanent major organ damage from Chinese counterfeit hormones made out of horse piss and radioactive waste.

 

[Brackets]

It's a lot more annoying than goth or emo though. And you could spend a few years as a goth or an emo without ending up with a micropenis and permanent major organ damage from Chinese counterfeit hormones made out of horse piss and radioactive waste.

Plus goths and emos weren't constantly harassing people and institutions to bend over backwards to accommodate their self-inflicted marginalization.

 

[Meowthkip]

Plus goths and emos weren't constantly harassing people and institutions to bend over backwards to accommodate their self-inflicted marginalization.

They didn't want to be normalized because they didn't want to be "normal."

These kids are poseurs.

 

[Chippy]

I think this is sort of stupid, but primarily because gender on its own is a social construct that is constantly in flux and can vary from region to region and from time period to time period. Not all cultures even have just two of them.

Because it's so arbitrary, it is ultimately meaningless, and so putting enough importance on it that you build your identity around your made-up label is... Sad.

I mean, by all means, transcend the binary in your respective culture because limiting the one life you have and all of the potential experiences you could enjoy (example: "oh, I can't have this hobby or enjoy this book because it's for women/men!") to what society expects of you is foolish. But assigning such importance to gender in the first place, even if it's your own label for it, is becoming a slave to it in the same way as being restricted by adhering to masculine or feminine gender roles is.

Just live your lives and stop obsessing over this garbage. Shit.

 

[LtCucumber]

I think this is sort of stupid, but primarily because gender on its own is a social construct that is constantly in flux and can vary from region to region and from time period to time period. Not all cultures even have just two of them.

Because it's so arbitrary, it is ultimately meaningless, and so putting enough importance on it that you build your identity around your made-up label is... Sad.

I mean, by all means, transcend the binary in your respective culture because limiting the one life you have and all of the potential experiences you could enjoy (example: "oh, I can't have this hobby or enjoy this book because it's for women/men!") to what society expects of you is foolish. But assigning such importance to gender in the first place, even if it's your own label for it, is becoming a slave to it in the same way as being restricted by adhering to masculine or feminine gender roles is.

Just live your lives and stop obsessing over this garbage. Shit.

It wouldn't be too bad if they kept fucking quiet about it. I mean I don't know anyone who actually, genuinely gives shit if someone is transgender, or whatever some people say they are. Usually people care if people are a complete jackass or not, or other actual personality traits that are important.

I mean if the whole fuckin world didn't hear about this online as much as it does, gender politics would probably die out and everything would be right with the world. I mean I swear a lot of LGBT identifying people online (mainly tumblr) are finding new ways to say they're being persecuted for being gay/trans/whatever- new term: microaggressions; of course, it gained a lot of traction. Now; for argument's sake let's just say they exist. Microaggressions aren't someone thinking you're the wrong gender because they can't tell, or if someone thinks you're straight. That is not a microaggression. Hell i can't even give a good example of a microaggression because they make no sense; it implies that you can read the mind of whoever is telling you whatever you found so goddamn offensive.

Let's be real, the world went from not being as accepting to "we don't care. You're gay? so what? people are gay it's not a radical concept" and clearly people just aren't oppressed enough because being gay is now not seen as "special" enough, if that makes sense.
People are saying the smallest shit is a microaggression as "proof" that the world apparently hates homos still, despite a lot of people being accepting; kind of an attempt to push the lifestyle too, which will make people uncomfortable, like the #proudtobe youtube campaign which got a lot of dislikes. Even gay people found it uncomfortable; fuck making gay people look like everyone else, we have to have pride to make it so we stand out but sure we want to be seen as regular people. It's retarded as all hell.

As being homo isn't seen as special enough even though some like to push the false narrative of "EVErYONE HATEs mE BEcaUSE I'm gAY", people are sticking to being trans, because oppression is cool; the whole ideology of "you can choose to be trans! it's better than being an icky cis person and it makes you better than everyone" really picked up speed. However it's not just going to leave, because it's more life changing for the community and people outside the community as they have to accommodate these retarded individuals or suddenly they hate ALL LGBT PEOPLE; in a way it's kinda smart as it's clear if people just leave it alone it will go away, but it's harder to ignore if someone keeps screeching about pronouns being accepted on passports, jobs, etc.

Let's be real, the whole politics/drama surrounding the community and the inability for said drama to fuck off and die makes me want to go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.

 

[Meowthkip]

It wouldn't be too bad if they kept fucking quiet about it. I mean I don't know anyone who actually, genuinely gives shit if someone is transgender, or whatever some people say they are. Usually people care if people are a complete jackass or not, or other actual personality traits that are important.

I mean if the whole fuckin world didn't hear about this online as much as it does, gender politics would probably die out and everything would be right with the world. I mean I swear a lot of LGBT identifying people online (mainly tumblr) are finding new ways to say they're being persecuted for being gay/trans/whatever- new term: microaggressions; of course, it gained a lot of traction. Now; for argument's sake let's just say they exist. Microaggressions aren't someone thinking you're the wrong gender because they can't tell, or if someone thinks you're straight. That is not a microaggression. Hell i can't even give a good example of a microaggression because they make no sense; it implies that you can read the mind of whoever is telling you whatever you found so goddamn offensive.

Let's be real, the world went from not being as accepting to "we don't care. You're gay? so what? people are gay it's not a radical concept" and clearly people just aren't oppressed enough because being gay is now not seen as "special" enough, if that makes sense.
People are saying the smallest shit is a microaggression as "proof" that the world apparently hates homos still, despite a lot of people being accepting; kind of an attempt to push the lifestyle too, which will make people uncomfortable, like the #proudtobe youtube campaign which got a lot of dislikes. Even gay people found it uncomfortable; fuck making gay people look like everyone else, we have to have pride to make it so we stand out but sure we want to be seen as regular people. It's exceptional as all hell.

As being homo isn't seen as special enough even though some like to push the false narrative of "EVErYONE HATEs mE BEcaUSE I'm gAY", people are sticking to being trans, because oppression is cool; the whole ideology of "you can choose to be trans! it's better than being an icky cis person and it makes you better than everyone" really picked up speed. However it's not just going to leave, because it's more life changing for the community and people outside the community as they have to accommodate these exceptional individuals or suddenly they hate ALL LGBT PEOPLE; in a way it's kinda smart as it's clear if people just leave it alone it will go away, but it's harder to ignore if someone keeps screeching about pronouns being accepted on passports, jobs, etc.

Let's be real, the whole politics/drama surrounding the community and the inability for said drama to fuck off and die makes me want to go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.

If I may offer a counter-point here, there's still gay and lesbian kids out there getting completely cut off from their parents for coming out. It still happens. You still have people pushing conversion therapy.

I will agree that for the average gay person outside of the bible belt, they're probably not going to get a lot of shit from strangers. There's a lot of people that say that they "don't care" if somebody they happen to be acquainted with is gay, but they'll feel a lot differently if it's their own son or daughter.

Gay rights have made leaps and bounds in the past decade, but there will always be holdouts. Gay people probably have less to worry about from society at large than they ever did; the biggest threat to them now are intolerant parents who reveal that their love for their child has been conditional all along. The biggest difference is that there's a lot more resources for those kids now and a lot more people who will think their parents are pieces of shit.

I think with Tumblr, though, is that a lot of them are rather privileged and are very familiar with that narrative. It makes for good angst. Problem is, they're usually not actually gay, and they don't want to commit to going full transgender. Non-binary genders are a way of rebelling and still trying to rile up mom and dad and yell at them for misgendering you because parents just don't understand, man.

We live in interesting times.

 

[LtCucumber]

If I may offer a counter-point here, there's still gay and lesbian kids out there getting completely cut off from their parents for coming out. It still happens. You still have people pushing conversion therapy.

I will agree that for the average gay person outside of the bible belt, they're probably not going to get a lot of shit from strangers. There's a lot of people that say that they "don't care" if somebody they happen to be acquainted with is gay, but they'll feel a lot differently if it's their own son or daughter.

Gay rights have made leaps and bounds in the past decade, but there will always be holdouts. Gay people probably have less to worry about from society at large than they ever did; the biggest threat to them now are intolerant parents who reveal that their love for their child has been conditional all along. The biggest difference is that there's a lot more resources for those kids now and a lot more people who will think their parents are pieces of shit.

I think with Tumblr, though, is that a lot of them are rather privileged and are very familiar with that narrative. It makes for good angst. Problem is, they're usually not actually gay, and they don't want to commit to going full transgender. Non-binary genders are a way of rebelling and still trying to rile up mom and dad and yell at them for misgendering you because parents just don't understand, man.

We live in interesting times.

Of course, i understand; I guess what I meant to say is that people who haven't experienced much discrimination (or very mild discrimination) for their orientation are going on about microaggressions- usually it's them. I do see people who have talking about microaggressions, but they still seem to be centered around things that require the thought of "i can read this person's mind and can determine they're homophobic for using the wrong term most likely on accident"

I haven't experienced much homophobia, but I can't speak for everyone's experiences, having known people who have been kicked out and/or disowned for being gay, trans, etc.
Usually the homophobia myself and other people in the same town/neighboring towns experience is from 13 year old chavvy kids who don't know any better and think that gay bashing is cool; usually it's something people grow out of, much like people i went to school with have. This isn't the same for everyone, and it may not be common for others (especially in the US, it may be different there)

I think a lot of it is "cis"/straight guilt brought on by tumblr and (now) various corners of the internet. "cis privilege", "straight privilege", etc. and telling people who are straight, neurotypical, what the fuck ever is seen as "privileged" these days that they shouldn't exist.
There's that and probably trying not to look like everyone else, as well as rebelling against parents; being emo isn't cool anymore, and hasn't been since 2009.

 

[DailyToastBoat]

https://pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/148085337375/cyclogender

Oh, there is blood dripping out of my vagina... time to be a demi-girl again *rolls her eyes dramatically*

That Tumblr blog is full of made up genders.

 

[AutismalArtist]

I'm working a YouTube convention and have served at least ten girls today wearing badoes saying 'they them theirs' or 'fuck the binary"; and there is a stand opposite selling 'genderqueer' pride flags.
On the positive side, they're all perfectly nice customers; the downside is the stands that are selling the genderqueer bullshit are selling much better.

 

[araiguma]

(I wanted to touch on why most nonbinaries are girls)

Nearly all the girls I know who call themselves nonbinary do so not because they don't like traditionally feminine things or because they don't want to dress girly but instead It's usually because they don't like the negative aspects a lot of women face. They don't want to be perceived as a women but they don't actually want to be a man.

They don't like being seen as the weaker sex or being judged for if they have sex or being the sex that is sexualized the most in media. It's their way of dealing with sexism or the inconveniences of being female. Especially if they are lesbian, there are a ton of nonbinary lesbians (including those who still recognize they are female.)

Though unfortunately for them saying your pronouns are they doesn't make a guy any less willing to try to hit on you given you still look like a normal person. Its still stupid but this is the reasoning I've seen from a ton of them online and in person.

 

[80's Dad]

That's some exceptional logic from these people. "Women aren't well respected, so I'm going to make up some bullshit gender with complicated pronouns, while still presenting as a (maybe slightly less feminine) woman, and then getting triggered whenever someone doesn't recognize my fae/faeself pronouns. That'll get everyone to respect me!" It's the 'I'm not like other girls' of the tumblr generation.

 

[Brackets]

(I wanted to touch on why most nonbinaries are girls)

Nearly all the girls I know who call themselves nonbinary do so not because they don't like traditionally feminine things or because they don't want to dress girly but instead It's usually because they don't like the negative aspects a lot of women face. They don't want to be perceived as a women but they don't actually want to be a man.

They don't like being seen as the weaker sex or being judged for if they have sex or being the sex that is sexualized the most in media. It's their way of dealing with sexism or the inconveniences of being female. Especially if they are lesbian, there are a ton of nonbinary lesbians (including those who still recognize they are female.)

Though unfortunately for them saying your pronouns are they doesn't make a guy any less willing to try to hit on you given you still look like a normal person. Its still stupid but this is the reasoning I've seen from a ton of them online and in person.

So instead of proactively trying to dispel the negative preconceptions about their gender, they embrace internalised misogyny and say "Fuck this shit. I'm actually different, so this doesn't apply to me."

 

[2al]

Like, to what extent do non-binary genders exist? I mean, in my country, a teen celebrity died two years ago, and in their suicide note, they said that a big reason why they wanted to kill themselves was that they couldn't bring themselves to tell the entire world they were non-binary. (I know their parents said that the public should stay away from their kid's suicide notes, but it's too late TBH. They were out there in the public eye.) Do you suppose all of it was really because of that, or was it more because of their angst that they couldn't tell the world they liked girls? They were young, maybe they were just going through a phase?

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

Like, to what extent do non-binary genders exist?

They don't. They are a figment of imagination in the minds of crazy people.

 

[Dysnomia]

It's a more politically correct version of "I'm not like other girls."

This.

Being a lesbo? Boring.

Being bi? Boring.

Being trans? Well everyone is trans now. It's getting a little boring.

So let's be non-binary.

But of course make no effort whatsoever to appear as anything other than feminine. If you really wanted to appear non-binary you'd try to look as androgynous as possible since you aren't ascribing to gender stereotypes.

Next step:

There's literally nowhere else to go with this.

 

[I'm Just A Human Bean]

 

[LtCucumber]

Like, to what extent do non-binary genders exist? I mean, in my country, a teen celebrity died two years ago, and in their suicide note, they said that a big reason why they wanted to kill themselves was that they couldn't bring themselves to tell the entire world they were non-binary. (I know their parents said that the public should stay away from their kid's suicide notes, but it's too late TBH. They were out there in the public eye.) Do you suppose all of it was really because of that, or was it more because of their angst that they couldn't tell the world they liked girls? They were young, maybe they were just going through a phase?

Quick question; do you have a source on this? There seems more to the situation.
I'm not white knighting here, but I will say that there is so much negativity around nonbinary genders due to people taking the idea way too fucking far, like Brennen Beckwith who says she identifies as "gender nonconforming" which even nonbinary people don't think is a gender, it's just not conforming to gender roles and she isn't even gender nonconforming.

What's more, if this person is a celebrity, as you say, imagine how much shit this person would get for publicly coming out as nonbinary when a majority of people will call BS? I'm guessing negative publicity out the ass.
If someone is an actual dysphoric trans person, whatever they say they are, if they have the want to transition, i'll listen. Otherwise, no, FO.
I mean I know that for some people coming out can be dangerous due to a lot of factors, but I wouldn't call "hate messages from people i've never met" dangerous.

If the majority of nonbinary people weren't like Brennen Beckwith, and more like this guy (who surprise surprise, gets less traction, because he's not a crazy ass like the others) nonbinary people would probably be taken more seriously.... then again there would also be less of them and it wouldn't be a fad, and probably seen under the same light as other trans people who actually feel dysphoria and want to transition like any other trans person.
The "nonbinary" community did this to themselves. They represented themselves in a stupid way, pushed ridiculous agendas, and then complain about the hate they get for being autistic.

In a way, the community making asses of themselves is part of the reason this kid wanted to commit suicide- the community created a stigma of themselves being fake and not really trans, and fuel the fire even more. Therefore people start to hate nonbinary people, this person then feels trapped?
Just a theory though.

 

[Medici]

View attachment 264500
View attachment 264502

"dont follow me if you're homophobic, that's wrong, love is love. a man and a man can be together if they want and you can't stop that. don't be a sexist either. btw fuck yourself if you're a guy, don't follow me"

 

[Scrafty]

The kid in question was Julia Buencamino. She wrote she was non binary and pan sexual iirc.
Here's her Tumblr. http://huliahoops.tumblr.com/