Yeah but I said truly anti-porn which means against it totally, which you admit you are not.
Nobody can be totally against porn just because it's exploitative and produced unethically, because those are not fundamentally inherent issues. They're issues that could, at least in theory, be fixed. If they're fixed, and you're still against porn, then that was not your reason. If they're fixed, and you're no longer against porn, you were never totally against it.
Your other arguments, I do sympathise with, because I agree with them all on a gut level, but what I can't get past is that I cannot imagine any pornless society in which sexuality, especially female sexuality, isn't completely demonised and repressed. That's what is completely unprecedented, and unimaginable to me. I don't think we've ever had anything like that, in the history of humanity. No matter how far back we go, if we look at the raunchy pre-plague Middle Ages, we see depictions of sex and sexuality permeating all aspects of their culture, from bollock daggers to monks doodling little kama sutra gangbangs in the margins of all their chronicles, to women thinking nipple piercings are an acceptable substitute for tops, to big veiny 18-inch photorealistic codpieces being worn in polite society.
The mass proliferation of porn as we know it started with the sexual revolution, and the more I think about that, the more doubtful I am that it's not just an inherent part of any open, permissive society, and that we can't ever be wholly divorced from it without a return to moralism, austerity and repression, which would overwhelmingly target and punish women. Mass media and technology might have made it worse and more unavoidable and more easily accessible than it's ever been, and introduced a massive new wave of problems associated with it, but no matter how bad it gets the only kind of society I can imagine without it looks less and less like a liberal democracy, and more and more like a Handmaid's Tale.
The tl;dr is, I don't think porn is great. I do think it's damaging, and dehumanising, and exploitative. I think it should be treated as an unsavoury vice, and largely avoided. But I just can't imagine society ever having a remotely healthy attitude towards sex without an unavoidable byproduct of that being that porn is produced in the margins and somewhat accepted in the mainstream.
tried to reply -- @Dyn haven't read this since college, might help, idk
https://archive.org/details/pornographysilen00grif
Thank you, I'll read this one. It looks like it's coming at the issue from exactly the angle I'm having trouble with.