u/Fine_MarionBerry3796
AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend over the orange peel theory.
Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse, misogyny
Original Post Nov 11, 2023
What is the orange peel theory?- I was scrolling on tik tok when I saw a post about the orange peel theory, which to sum it up is when you ask another person to do a small task for you, like peeling an orange or asking them to tie your shoes for you, both of these are tasks that you can do by yourself. The real test is how they respond to you, if they respond with “you can do it yourself” “can’t your do that” “… I guess…” then they are not willing to do small tasks for you and will most likely fail to do larger task for you in the future. However if they do it willingly or take the initiative to do it immediately then they pass in a way.
Now on to the situation, my boyfriend of 7 months was sitting in the couch when I saw the tik tok video explaining the theory, and I decided I should try it out. Up to this point we were happy but now looking back on it I am not suprised by how he responded.
I asked him to tie my hair up for me and he looked at me and asked me why I couldn’t do it. At first I thought that maybe he was intimidated by my long hair, however he has had long hair in the past and knew how to tie it up. I asked him again thinking it was just a fluke but he told me that I could do it since I was in the kitchen and he needed to relax stating that he just got off work. I know what y’all are thinking (let that man relax he just got off) y’all he works from home… and even if he was truly tired he has plenty of energy to play games and go out to the bar with his friends.
Regardless I honestly I didn’t want to break up and thought it was dumb to throw a relationship away over a tik tok… well that was until later in the day when I asked him if he could toss a towel in the dryer so I could be warm when I got out of the shower since I forgot to do it my self. Surprise surprise, he never did it and it just made me realize how much I do for him and his daughter that is not even mine!!! and I think I have fed, held, and changed her more than he has. So Reddit I ask you am I the AITAH if I go through with it.
Edit: Hello everyone thank you for listening to my post, I read what your guys are saying LOUD AND CLEAR and completely see where you guys are coming from. I admit that I should not have taken advice from tik tok and that it showed immaturity to do so. However I disagree on the fact that what happend wasn’t a big deal. The method worked and made me see that I do a lot more for him than he does for me. Our relationship is not going to end because of my towel not being warm or my hair not being up, but because I realize that I am just settling for a lazy man who doesn’t take me out, doesn’t help out with his baby and has no motivations in life except to live at his parents house,play video games and drink. All while taking advantage of what I do for him. In my mind, since we are so new (7 months) these problems are foreshadowing what’s to come and I see no future with him or his baby. Again thank you everyone who took the time to read this.
Update Nov 13, 2023
Hello again Reddit fast update for you guys!
First I would like to thank you for how brutally honest the comments were, and no I am not 12 I am 22. I would also like to clear some things up. First off, I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was testing him like a crazy girlfriend who sets her boyfriend up for failure.
I simply used the theory to see what he would do out of curiosity and came to the realization that I was giving 90% while he was giving 30% into the relationship. The theory helped me take off my rose color tinted glasses and truly see just how much I am doing without an ounce of appreciation. As for the ones saying that they would also refuse the small task as well this simply does not apply to me, if my partner asked me to tie his shoes I would be down on one knee, because I feel like it is a simple way to show love.
Previously I had never asked him to do something that I could do my self since I am relatively independent. This was not the case for him since he uses me for almost everything ( babysitter while he goes out, nighttime nanny, chef, cleaner, washing machine, chauffeur, ect.). as I took time to read the comments there was a lot of reflecting and I knew I had to talk to him and give him a chance to work this imbalance out.
I texted him and told him we needed to talk and he asked me for a ride to my house since his mom was out. I picked him up but to my surprise he had his baby, so I asked him if we could just stay in the driveway and talk. He told me that he was hoping we could talk on the way, when I asked him on the way to what he told me that his buddy wanted to meet up for drinks, and I just lost it and told him to get out of my car.
I just let out everything I was thinking and feeling. He looked very confused but then changed his tune and stated blaming me saying that I waiting too long to tell him this and that his daughter is already bonded to me (she is around 1) I’m not sure what to do I went home and my phone was filled with messages from his mom saying that I needed to step up and be “a good mom and future wife) the thing is, I DONT WANT TO BE ETHIER!!!.
lastly I know you guys don’t like the orange peel theory but I think I dodged a bullet. Or the ones who feel bad for him he dodged a bullet.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP