Official Kiwifarms Uplifting Each Other Thread - Support group for women

[JambledUpWords]

One of the reasons I even opened this thread in the first place was looking for advice to cope with the stress of dealing with taking care of aging fam and excessive deaths.

This one I actually have real life experience to give advice on. I used to take care of my elderly grandparents as my first real job. It’s hard mentally to see people you grew up with become weaker and less like how you remember them. When taking care of them, remember the good memories you have and realize that the waning mental state isn’t really them, and they can’t help it. You’ll probably find yourself repeating the same conversations with them, or possibly forgetting who you are. This is typical in later dementia stages. Even so, don’t lash out, and have patience.

The deaths are always hard, even if they were in a bad condition beforehand, and it’s okay to still feel sad even when you know they’ll die soon. I myself am religious, and believe I’ll see my grandparents again one day, and in better health. Some will say “there’s no proof” or “this is all just cope.” It’s a way to cope with death, as something that’s been part of humanity since the beginning. Also, remember that they’re never really dead so long as you keep their memories alive, whether it be favorite places, favorite foods, or fond memories. They may not be physically there, but you’ll always see parts of them in traits of your other family members, as genetics do live on. I never met one of my grandpas, as he died before I was born, yet based on pictures, I can see how much his looks influenced the way my dad looks. Most of all, you’re never truly alone, and you’ll find traces of those who passed on throughout your life, if you look closely.

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

One of the reasons I even opened this thread in the first place was looking for advice to cope with the stress of dealing with taking care of aging fam and excessive deaths. Lost my vet step father less than a year ago who instilled a lot of self worth in me and with memorial day coming up it's been rough. Sucks watching this thread get treated like a internet point collection video game by a bunch of people emulating ethan ralph.

I am so sorry to hear that. I was/am in a similar position and I wouldn't say I am coping particularly well with it either.
I feel a bit "trapped" to be honest and then also very guilty for thinking that in the first place.

The only advice I can give is to be kind to yourself, make sure you're looking after yourself as best you can, and allow yourself to feel your emotions. Carers fatigue is real.

I bottled up too much, exploded in a rage at insignificant things, and I don’t look favourably on the way I behaved at the time.
However, there is no point in being cruel to yourself if you don't react to every situation well. Being nasty to yourself achieves nothing - it's a lot of stress that you never had to deal with before and it's very painful.

I focus on all the good memories instead and I have learned a lot about what is/isn't important when someone you love is terminally ill.

Also, I am really sorry! I reported you by accident because I thought you were being sarcastic in your first post!
If you get jannied, let me know and I'll tell them I messed up.

 

[SphinxItOver]

I feel a bit "trapped" to be honest and then also very guilty for thinking that in the first place.

It's been near a decade and half of it and that "trapped" feeling is so real. I feel guilty each time a fam member passes that I have one less will/medical/funeral trip to make. Considering how many have passed in the last 4 years alone I'm concerned by the end of this year it'll only be me and my sibling left. I think it's hitting me hard because of that bottling up you mention... but I'm just not finding a healthy release.

Also, I am really sorry! I reported you by accident because I thought you were being sarcastic in your first post!
If you get jannied, let me know and I'll tell them I messed up.

No worries; if I die, I die.

 

[JambledUpWords]

I think it's hitting me hard because of that bottling up you mention... but I'm just not finding a healthy release.

Do you have any physical or creative outlets? If not, it might be the time to find one that works for you. Lately, my outlet has been cooking, but other options exist. Cleaning can also be a good one, as it’s pretty mundane, but you feel really accomplished afterwards. Personally, I think cleaning is better with good music or a podcast to listen to. Art is another really good one, in addition to music. These tasks get repetitive, but you also get a release from everyday worries. Going to the gym is another popular release valve. If you’re going to think on it, do it in a way that has some physicality involved. I notice I think through things better if I’m doing a task that is creative and gives me time to think.

Side note: grief counseling also exists, but it gets expensive. A cheaper way is to have a journal with guided exercises. It can be electronic or physical. Writing things out can help put things in perspective too

 

[Justa Grata Honoria]

Side note: grief counseling also exists, but it gets expensiv

sometimes you can get something online for 15-20 dollars an hour with expats living it up down south especially if you mother tongue is English, pretty easy to get therapists on that language fuck I am in norway and I recieve therapy on english due to my broken brain decided its my primary language .

 

[Stan]

Here’s my bit of positivity: you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. If the Sun was sentient, do you think it would worry what Venus thought of it? If it was enough like Jupiter? No. It just is. Be like that, and these bastards will never grind you down.
To all the faggots (men) posting in here: GTFO.

 

[SphinxItOver]

Do you have any physical or creative outlets? If not, it might be the time to find one that works for you. Lately, my outlet has been cooking, but other options exist. Cleaning can also be a good one, as it’s pretty mundane, but you feel really accomplished afterwards. Personally, I think cleaning is better with good music or a podcast to listen to. Art is another really good one, in addition to music. These tasks get repetitive, but you also get a release from everyday worries. Going to the gym is another popular release valve. If you’re going to think on it, do it in a way that has some physicality involved. I notice I think through things better if I’m doing a task that is creative and gives me time to think.

Side note: grief counseling also exists, but it gets expensive. A cheaper way is to have a journal with guided exercises. It can be electronic or physical. Writing things out can help put things in perspective too

Gardening and cooking is to feed the aging fam. Sewing to fix clothes and keep them blanketed. Gym is so I can catch them mid fall or pick them off the ground without hurting them... I've been exchanging time with my sibling to make more free time for art... but I'm getting "perfectionist" on it and I think the stress is making me "blocked".

I really fucking hate therapists, because the trans pipeline, but I do have the ability to get one for free... and honestly that's probs what I should look into. I thought this thread would die... Thank you guys for sticking with it and being helpful walking me through the emotions to a logical task. I appreciate it.

 

[JambledUpWords]

I really fucking hate therapists

but I do have the ability to get one for free

When it comes to therapists, don’t feel obligated to stick with whoever you end up with first. It’s okay to find one that meshes well with you and your needs. This doesn’t mean just get one that affirms everything you say, and gives no practical advice or tools to use. You want one that can help confront your issues in a safe environment where you feel okay with opening up. In most legitimate forms of therapy, it’s meant to be short term (short term in the therapy world can mean anything between 1-5 years though, or even just a few months, depending on circumstances). It won’t be easy, but if you develop better ways of approaching death, you’ll be able to utilize it long after the therapy itself ends.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

You have that Ohio Rizz, you're straight skibidi and will get that gyatt

 

[CEO of Pickles]

One of the reasons I even opened this thread in the first place was looking for advice to cope with the stress of dealing with taking care of aging fam and excessive deaths. Lost my vet step father less than a year ago who instilled a lot of self worth in me and with memorial day coming up it's been rough. Sucks watching this thread get treated like a internet point collection video game by a bunch of people emulating ethan ralph.

Spoiler

"I'M NOT STUTTERING!
Taking care of them and its aches will always be preferable over leaving them in a nursing home.
The fatigue is never as painful as the realization that you abandoned them when they needed you most.
*pill bottle shaking*
Remember to cherish the memories of their life, not their death.

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

Great news everyone


(Also, lmao at the random text)

Thanks to the janny/Null for changing the name

Edit: It changed again lol


All well - this will probably keep the seething down?

 

[COME ON OUT YOU RAPIST]

Null said during the Sticker saga he'd prefer more discussion in the open instead of using DMs so that's what we are trying to do.

I was wondering why these sorts of threads have been appearing. I thought it was just sharty-like irony but you've convinced me it's just a bunch of people upset they can't whisper to each other like old jewish women in big DM chains anymore.

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

I was wondering why these sorts of threads have been appearing. I thought it was just sharty-like irony but you've convinced me it's just a bunch of people upset they can't whisper to each other like old jewish women in big DM chains anymore.

Nope.

During the Sticker/Catler saga, Null said "why the fuck are so many of you in these stupid long DM chains?" and someone said "I don't like to post publicly because I don't like getting pushback/negrates".
Null then said that was fucking retarded and removed scores and sticker notifications because he wants people to use the forum as intended. Ya know...like a fucking forum.

It's not a grand conspiracy against men by the women here. We are literally following the rules of the website.

My point which you clearly missed was that:

• Women are using the forum correctly by NOT using DMs for our discussions. That was being done by gross males wanting to show eachother their HRT moobs and erotic role play with one another in their gooncaves
• We obey the site rules by sticking to thread topics.

I realise that even bothering with this is fucking futile because it doesn't seem to matter how many times we tell you that we're not getting preferential treatment, you refuse to accept it.

 

[COME ON OUT YOU RAPIST]

It sounds more like Null squashed your big DM chains because your gradually-declining sanity and inevitable transitioning will turn you into a funny thread subject.

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

It sounds more like Null squashed your big DM chains because your gradually-declining sanity and inevitable transitioning will turn you into a funny thread subject.

"no u" says the butthurt queer huffing copium as he eats his chicken tendies.

All of what I said it publicly available - you can check the details for yourself.
Everyone found out about Catler and Omori Boy and all those other boykisser/furfag weirdos in DM chains. All male, all degenerate.

Now run along little dipshit, your special bus to the tard daycare is on its way to your house.

 

[Lidl Drip]

Moids are projecting because THEY are sitting in gay DM chains whispering about conspiracy theories, aka the "something is rotten in the state of Denmark, can I DM you?" bullshit lmao. It's so obvious because you all say exactly the same things about "Nulltax and Logan Drip" and how KF is the new Something Awful because you're not allowed to shit up a single thread. Moids know only projection.

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

Moids are projecting because THEY are sitting in gay DM chains whispering about conspiracy theories, aka the "something is rotten in the state of Denmark, can I DM you?" bullshit lmao. It's so obvious because you all say exactly the same things about "Nulltax and Logan Drip" and how KF is the new Something Awful because you're not allowed to shit up a single thread. Moids know only projection.

And we still never found out what was rotten in the state of Denmark!



I WANT TO KNOW DAMN IT

 

[Lidl Drip]

And we still never found out what was rotten in the state of Denmark!



I WANT TO KNOW DAMN IT

Guaranteed just gay doomposting about how the site is totally over and the west has fallen because of "gynocentric forum moderation" or whatever.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

Maybe if you guys were a little nicer to each other you wouldn't feel the need to shit up our wholesome threads

 

[Mr Bones Wild Ride]

Guaranteed just gay doomposting about how the site is totally over and the west has fallen because of "gynocentric forum moderation" or whatever.

142,169+ threads

1 they can't shit up (Man Hate)
1 they must stay on topic (Pick Me)
1 we asked nicely they not shit up (this one)
It's obvious favouritism towards us

Just ignore that Mass Debates and Spergatory exist for the rest of the site when they shit up threads. Them having their repetitive dumbarse comments removed + banned from the purple board is a clear indication that we've taken over the site.

Thread Tax:
Have a silly meme that made me laugh


I hope everyone (except the male threadshitters - you can fuck off) has a good morning/night!