Official Kiwifarms Uplifting Each Other Thread - Support group for women

[isalaide]

And we still never found out what was rotten in the state of Denmark!



I WANT TO KNOW DAMN IT

Hamlet was too blackpilled by his uncle fucking his mother to wash his balls.

 

[Lidl Drip]

Reminder that it's okay to not put others needs above your own 100% of the time. Many people believe that a woman's entire purpose in life is just to be a support character for others (especially moids) and we have to always be selfless and put our own wants and desires last because otherwise you are selfish/a bitch/a bad mom/a bad wife/etc.

No matter if it is women picking up slack for everyone else at the workplace, working overtime because they are the only ones who care that things are actually finished on time and presented properly or mothers who always eat cold leftovers cause they are so busy with serving everyone else even after they spent all day preparing a big family dinner or not getting to enjoy holidays or birthdays because they are so busy making sure it's a perfect experience for everyone else. It's important to take time for yourself and to make sure you are ALSO enjoying things. You don't have to take on all of the pressure and responsibility all of the time, because you will burn yourself out doing it. Sit down and enjoy things you have created. Sit down and let other people do things FOR YOU once in a while.

And also let other people contribute who want to help. I personally struggle a lot with that because I am a total perfectionist who loses her mind when things aren't "done right" so I always do way too much and reject people's help because I know they will do it sloppier or not in the way I want. This usually leads to people just expecting me to do everything because "well you want it done a certain way." Trying to work on just being okay with things not being 100% my vision by allowing people to help.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Take care of yourself physically, but do it for yourself. Get good sleep, drink water, eat healthy, and exercise. Also, don’t forget to have dessert every once in a while, find laughter in random things, and spend free time you have with people you want to be around. It’s all about balance. Additionally, every once in a while, wear your favorite outfit, go somewhere fun, and create memories. Self care is so much more than a face mask or getting a mani/pedi. It’s nice, but those things are not what self care only entails.

 

[Clamater]

You women with your labor and care for the elderly, infirm, and senile...
I've seen a woman approaching 90 desperately struggle to aid her completely regressed Alzeihmer husband so he can continue to live at home with dignity. I know a woman who cared for 2 generations worth of older women who she wasn't even blood related to as they fell into every old-age ailment you can think of. There's a woman I know currently that, despite having a husband who has early-onset dementia and is nearly crippled with arthritis herself, still cooks and delivers homemade meals 21 times a week to seven different people so that they are properly nourished and shown love beyond being forgotten by rotten sons.

There are so many more examples just from my own life and acquaintances. I can tell the women above IRL how I feel about them and take over as much of the load as possible, but some of you in this thread may not hear it aloud; the work is physically hard, at times dangerous, shockingly devalued, and heartbreaking. Wrestling angry men who you loved with all your heart when they don't even understand where to shit anymore is nothing to scoff at. Because if you don't do it, guess who will?

You women with your labor and care... you're leaving a lasting impression and teaching invaluable lessons to the younger generations.

The men coming in here to add more shit to your plate know what the future holds for them. They will be at their must vulnerable and will have nobody but imported, underpaid, third-worlders to manhandle them before they gracelessly expire in an unchanged diaper. And that's if they're lucky.

 

[The Evil Midnight Bomber]

Here’s my bit of positivity: you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. If the Sun was sentient, do you think it would worry what Venus thought of it? If it was enough like Jupiter? No. It just is. Be like that, and these bastards will never grind you down.
To all the faggots (men) posting in here: GTFO.

If the sun had the same kind of sentience a human being has and the ability to perceive the existence of the planets orbiting it then yes it would probably worry what its possibly sentient orbiters think of it. Because both humans and this hypothetical sun are insecure by nature.

 

[Otterly]

Considering how many have passed in the last 4 years alone I'm concerned by the end of this year it'll only be me and my sibling left. I think it's hitting me hard because of that bottling up you mention... but I'm just not finding a healthy release.

That’s a very draining situation to be in and frankly it would be almost abnormal to be sunshine and rainbows with it. I think two things:
1. How you feel is probably pretty ‘appropriate’ which doesn’t mean it is nice or pleasant, but just that anyone would feel awful with such things happening. Go easy on yoirself
2. That sentence I highlighted above - kind of feels like it’s been a bad time that is going to crescendo before you can start to heal? So you’ve had all that grief and you know more is coming. It’s like you know you have to get over that point but that sets up a conflict - of they’re all dead that’s awful too so you feel it’s not a thing you should want at all. Basically it’s grief and guilt which is tough (and you shouldn’t feel guilty, just maybe know it to yourself might help?’
Definitely some form of venting and support needed. Is the sibling helpful?

 

[Rudy Coleman]

I love u

 

[Stan]

Great news everyone

View attachment 6013132
(Also, lmao at the random text)

Thanks to the janny/Null for changing the name

Edit: It changed again lol
View attachment 6013133

All well - this will probably keep the seething down?

Mods are clearly doing the dirty jobs here; figuring out which weird thing to rename this forum now that it’s become a honey trap for moids who desperately want female attention.

My point which you clearly missed was that:

• Women are using the forum correctly by NOT using DMs for our discussions. That was being done by gross males wanting to show eachother their HRT moobs and erotic role play with one another in their gooncaves
• We obey the site rules by sticking to thread topics.

Ya I was going to say… haven’t all the big breaks DMs been about men trying to fuck other men?

It sounds more like Null squashed your big DM chains because your gradually-declining sanity and inevitable transitioning will turn you into a funny thread subject.

The women aren’t in mass DMs. A little bit of 1:1 back channeling, perhaps, but the notion that every girl here is co-ordinating with one another (so that if I step to someone insulting Lidl, it’s because Lidl expressly asked me to, and if some troll is banging on about me and no other woman steps up to stan4stan, it’s because they *fuckin hate me* and are deliberately ignoring my DM pleas for backup)… that’s not happening. Nobody asks me to prop them up with stickers and clap backs, and I don’t ask them for that either. TBH I really try not to drag my personal drama into the MHT, because I don’t need to. So the notion that there’s a mass DM of all confirmed female users paging each other for backup like beat cops on patrol is just moid projection. (However, the frequent flyers to the temple of Marg are so quick on the reply to each other I do find it difficult not to think they are sending each other DMs about how to get my attention.)

And we still never found out what was rotten in the state of Denmark!



I WANT TO KNOW DAMN IT

It was the baked funeral meats

If the sun had the same kind of sentience a human being has and the ability to perceive the existence of the planets orbiting it then yes it would probably worry what its possibly sentient orbiters think of it. Because both humans and this hypothetical sun are insecure by nature.

Way to miss the point nerd. Typical man ITT behavior.

Inspirational and uplifting content: you should never let anyone else dictate who you are and what you can become. You contain multitudes and your potential is limitless. If they put you down, use it as motivational fuel to prove them wrong. You can achieve much on this path. All love from Staniel <3

 

[fake farts]

One of the reasons I even opened this thread in the first place was looking for advice to cope with the stress of dealing with taking care of aging fam and excessive deaths. Lost my vet step father less than a year ago who instilled a lot of self worth in me and with memorial day coming up it's been rough. Sucks watching this thread get treated like a internet point collection video game by a bunch of people emulating ethan ralph.

I lose my stepdad of 26 years in 2022, and my mom last year, just over a year after his passing, so I can completely relate to this one. His death was one we knew was coming, he was an alcoholic, and met his end the way chronic alcoholics do. In those last couple of years of his life, he quit drinking, and it was probably the most peaceful time I can remember living with him. I've always had a rocky relationship with him, but it begins to put stuff a bit more in perspective when they're dying or finally dead. My moms health had been declining over time too, and she had become weaker and my stepdad and I looked after her, until he got ill. Then she and I looked after him. Then, with him gone, I basically looked after my mother alone. It was often frustrating, we argued, I'd get angry because there were so many things I couldn't do. I couldn't lift her off the floor when she fell, I couldn't always remember everything she needed, and sometimes I'd get angry with her. It's an unfortunate, ugly side to looking after someone. I wish I could take it back, and I hope that she at least understood at the time that I was just frustrated at largely being alone in the situation. Her death was still unexpected, even if her health had been steadily going downward with time.

I'm not religious, but what @JambledUpWords said is true. It's something I thought about a lot after my moms passing. How do you keep someones memory alive, how do you honor them? I do it by telling stories, funny jokes or memories. Reflecting with friends, sharing pictures with people, putting up pictures in my home, what few we have left. Sometimes it's things I say, or mentioning "Yeah, my mom loved that movie". I think even the way I talk is a reflection of her, a similar accent, similar intonation of words, similar humor. Enjoying what they enjoyed, enjoying what I enjoy. Mostly, try not to fold up into yourself. People who genuinely care for you don't want you to grieve by isolating yourself, or by acting out in destructive behaviors. Go out, and enjoy yourself. If your family is anything like my mom and stepdad were, they liked that I went out and just did stuff, had a good time. You have to keep moving forward, one way or another.

I've also tried to start contacting the remaining family that I know a bit more. My brother and I have never been close in adulthood, and sometimes I still feel old bitterness that I shouldn't have to be the one to make the first move, and I shouldn't have been the one looking after our mom alone, but he lost his mom too. So sometimes, I'll just say hey, even if it's just a text. I also talk to my aunt a lot more. She's the last one of that generation in our immediate family, so the one with the stories about relatives I never met. I think she and I have grown closer as well. We had some pretty horrific arguments in the past, but now we get along. I don't have many people left, so it's best to just try to enjoy time with who I do have, while I still can.

 

[community member]

This is cool. I get that KF is a big mean site where we watch trainwrecks in big mean ways but this place is actually a rare platform where likeminded women who don't have only sanitized opinions can form connections. I've wanted to make friends or at least talk to people more on the imageboards many times but they're just too anonymous for that. You can't even tell if you're holding a conversation with the same person. It all falls through your fingers like grains of sand

I really want more women who are honest and more blunt and more willing to step into conflict with each other and who won't freak out if I say a VERBOTEN WORD or call gay men disgusting or whatever. I'm still too much of a pushover and it really bothers the fuck out of me, and I think being around rougher people (who like me and mean well, but are just rougher) would help.

 

[Not a bee]

All of you posted good advice, thank you.
I sadly don't have any words of wisdom at the moment... brush your teeth before bed?

 

[JambledUpWords]

I'm still too much of a pushover and it really bothers the fuck out of me, and I think being around rougher people (who like me and mean well, but are just rougher) would help.

You don’t have to take this route to be less of a pushover. Yes, bluntness is nice, but there needs to be conviction in what you say and do.

How to be less of a pushover (from someone that used to be one):

• Speak clearly on how you feel, and in a direct manner. This doesn’t mean insulting people, it means letting others know what you think on various things.
• When confronted with pushback or peer pressure to do things you don’t want to do, stand firm in what you said previously. Don’t back down, that’s a sign of defeat. Worst case scenario, physically remove yourself from the situation (no, not everyone is entitled to your presence)
• Realize your self worth and don’t put up with people that beat you down. You can still have friends that say intentionally offensive jokes to each other, but draw the line at a person that continuously belittles you (you’ll notice this if you are specifically targeted regularly and/or notice antagonistic behavior is primarily directed towards you)

These are the three most important things in not being a pushover. People should be lucky to have your time, friendship, and presence. If someone disrespects that, you aren’t obligated to continue giving that person those things. It’s more of a grey area when it’s family members, but you should treat your friendships and romantic relationships this way.

 

[AbyssStarer]

Bullet journal, washi tape, stickers, and fancy pastel pens = hell yes. go for a walk, listen to vaporware, and drink less caffeine. Read a paperback or listen to an audiobook while crocheting, double hell yes.

Being a woman is based, don't let the niggers of gender take that away from you.

 

[grenouille crétine]

I don’t want to PL to commiserate on any specifics posted here since I have done more than enough of that already, but this is a wonderful thread. (Hit the post button early by mistake, if anyone saw that lol). The advice is super solid so far, both for the people asking directly and for any lurkers. Make things for the sake of creation even if they are amateur, be kind and patient with yourself, and connect with the people you love whenever you can. Hang out in the Man-Hate thread to blow off some steam/give the boiz some more rope fuel, enjoy your pet cows on whatever board they may call home, and enjoy the outdoors whenever possible. Sneed long and prosper

 

[lego racers]

i haven't been here long, nor have i really contributed in any meaningful way, but lurking and what little posting i've done on this forum has helped ease some of the pain i've been forced to deal with. reality is harsh and cruel, but you girls have helped move the needle for me, even if you weren't meaning to. thank you.

 

[fake farts]

I've wanted to make friends or at least talk to people more on the imageboards many times but they're just too anonymous for that.

I actually have friends online that I met through /co/ of all places, over a decade ago. We'd all hang out in the same thread, and we used to stream tv shows. Then we all connected elsewhere. Most of us still chat regularly, and many have met in real life. But yeah, it's rare it happens. I've met people from another messageboard once too, at a big concert. Dunno how highly I'd recommend it these days though, since there's always a mix of normal people just being online weirdos, and actual fucking weirdos. The Internet nowadays manages to be far more corporate and sanitized while simultaneously seeming more unhinged, pushed to two extremes. Like everything else these days.

 

[Judas Connor Moon]

I love all you kiwis. Y'all make me happy!

 

[Anti Alien Alarm]

You (yes, you. The person reading this) is almost certainly more capable than the median. You'll be just fine, as long as you try to succeed in this world. You've got people supporting you. You'll make it, I'll make it, we'll all make it.

 

[Orange Tabby]

You guys are gonna make me cry.
I still struggle with internalized misogyny from bullying growing up, and now that I’m surrounded by mostly moms everyday I’m working on opening up and actually talking to other women without judgement.
I’m trying to remember that we’re all just trying our best.

 

[Cherry Eyed Hamster]

Society bullies women from the cradle into accepting deviant behaviors. A girl will grow up seeing herself sexualized in advertising and media, hearing the boys in her classrooms imitate pornography, get ganged on by other girls for puberty, and now women are expected to be perfectly okay with men skinwalking as them and asserting that they, too are women, when girls are also taught from a young age to not hang around strange men. The women who call out the predatory behavior of others out when it’s normalized by a sick society is vilified. Women are expected to be okay with men watching pornography, it’s “sex positive”. Women are called “Karen’s”, “bitches”, and “hysterical” for speaking up, so in other words, we’re expected to sit down and shut up.

Growing up female is a myriad of contradictions that society bestows upon us. Thankfully in this day and age a woman can more easily say “fuck it” to all of that and be her own advocate.

Don’t take shit from stupid people. Don’t accept something you’re uncomfortable with because society says it’s “normal”. Don’t let insecure women trample on you for any reason. Don’t let a man who doesn’t respect you date you. Don’t let doctors dismiss your pain. Don’t tie your identity to who you become romantically involved with. If it all becomes overwhelming, take a mental health day and journal. Watch your favorite show, read your favorite book, or play your favorite video game. Learn a new skill. We are surrounded by knowledge that is no longer forbidden from us accessing. Don’t take our modern clownworld seriously. Poke the sacred cow. For god’s sake, laugh. It is the best remedy.

You are at any stage in your life worthy of love and respect. Fuck misogyny and fuck the haters.