OKCupid update?

[Saney]

Would it kill him to attempt an expression in some of his pictures? I know he isn't good at them, but Godbear, show some teeth, open your eyes a little. There must be a middle ground between manic loon and suffered a stroke.

I think showing his teeth would only make things worse.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I think showing his teeth would only make things worse.

Perhaps that's why he doesn't show the pearly yellows.

While I'm in befuddled mode, this is another instance where he's used the term all-around, but separated it from other words with a comma. I thought it was a typo on his Facebook, but I think he thinks "all-around" is a description in and of itself, rather than a descriptor for something else. I'd love to know what he thinks it means and how that relates to him. Tut, tut. So naïve.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

Tubular Monkey is an all-around. He's also very sometimes.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

The only reason Chris even has an OKCupid profile outside of his Love Quest is that he hasn't realized it's run by trolls. If he'd gotten even the slightest unsatisfactory result, he'd run the fuck away from the site.

Good thing for him he won't get any unsatisfactory results... because he'll be getting no results. Since he won't, you know, search for a girl he likes on the site and message her. No, he put up his profile, his part is done. It's up to the OKCupid-using rich supermodels of the greater Charlottesville area to search OKCupid each day until they find him, and then message him, and offer to come meet him in person immediately and tell him how special he is while he sits there in awkward silence.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Tubular Monkey is an all-around. He's also very sometimes.

I've occasionally been known to be extremely.

 

[An Ounce of Vagina]

He looks like a drowned body...

 

[Tubular Monkey]

He looks like a drowned body...

They usually have cleaner hair.

 

[Fibonacci]

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/Future Wife from the ground up. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding and patient.

Do you understand life?! DO YOU? Then you qualify to be Christian's Future Wife!

 

[Male]

Would it kill him to attempt an expression in some of his pictures? I know he isn't good at them, but Godbear, show some teeth, open your eyes a little. There must be a middle ground between manic loon and suffered a stroke.

Come to think of it, the only time he's ever made a teeth showing smile was during one of his elementary school photos and even then he looked like he was trying too hard.

 

[Caddchef]

I don't want to take the discussion off on a tangent but under pets Chris states that he "has dogs and has cats", i know we've had threads on previous forums speculating the condition of the feline residents of 14 Branchland Court but this confirms that at least one cat is still around right?

 

[punchabunch]

I don't want to take the discussion off on a tangent but under pets Chris states that he "has dogs and has cats", i know we've had threads on previous forums speculating the condition of the feline residents of 14 Branchland Court but this confirms that at least one cat is still around right?

I think thats something of a leftover from his profile. Remember that he only updated his profile, its still real old.

 

[CatParty]

it will always kill me when he says "ignore all google results"
like if in some act of divine intervention a girl looks at his profile and pics and somehow decides to contact him and go on a date without googling ANYTHING that is a cwc red flag that permeates his profile. if she didn't know what she was getting herself into, she would learn soon enough. i mean, nothing i've seen on the cwcki is a lie. it is all documentation of him and his failures. his biggest troll is really himself.

 

[Fialovy]

To be honest, he seems like standard OkCupid fare. I don't know why I even have my OkCupid profile up anymore since I obviously don't need it since I'm no longer boyfriend-free. Yes, the CWCki is a better dating site than OkCupid.

 

[Niachu]

To be honest, he seems like standard OkCupid fare. I don't know why I even have my OkCupid profile up anymore since I obviously don't need it since I'm no longer boyfriend-free. Yes, the CWCki is a better dating site than OkCupid.

I can't even imagine how Chris would feel upon reading that.

 

[Fialovy]

Well, he apparently has found the CWCki so its possible that he might read that statement.

 

[Caddchef]

A good friend and follower of Chris capped me these using her own OkCupid account, hope they've not already been posted.





We were both quite disturbed by their compatibility rating.

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

I just wanted to point out that it's interesting to note when Chris updated his profile. February 13th.

You know, Desperation Day. Far be it for me to suggest anything that Chris does is normal, but I'm willing to bet that Chris wasn't the only one updating his profile today.

If enough desperate women join today and tomorrow, Chris might have a shot at getting seen. Of course, this is all theoretical conjecture. In reality, for many of the reasons already mentioned, Chris has already ruined any chance of actually having any sort of success.

 

[Rio]

A good friend and follower of Chris capped me these using her own OkCupid account, hope they've not already been posted.





We were both quite disturbed by their compatibility rating.

"Girl on girl is ok, but guy on guy is wrong."
Looks like he sure hasn't changed much. Oh chris, you and your double standards. Though he most likely only thinks girl on girl is ok because that's the one that turns him on, and guy on guy doesn't.

In all honesty though, unfortunately it's probably not an entirely uncommon stance.

 

[Caddchef]

A good friend and follower of Chris capped me these using her own OkCupid account, hope they've not already been posted.





We were both quite disturbed by their compatibility rating.

"Girl on girl is ok, but guy on guy is wrong."
Looks like he sure hasn't changed much. Oh chris, you and your double standards. Though he most likely only thinks girl on girl is ok because that's the one that turns him on, and guy on guy doesn't.

In all honesty though, unfortunately it's probably not an entirely uncommon stance.

I'm told it's common enough to be a standardized reply on OkCupid (all answers on the the Q&A section are standardized).

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

According to himself,he's the hottest dude alive. That's why.

Well, when you see yourself as this hunksicle, it's hard to talk yourself down from it.

Evidence that Chris's denial is progressive. Here he is in the first issue of Sonichu:





By issue three:




While the argument can be made that Chris's art style had impro .... well, had begun to suck in a somewhat different manner, his depiction of himself clearly acknowledges his widening Buddha-belly. By ish 3, he's downright skinny, and wouldn't be getting "muscular" until around the time that Ivy showed up, unless I'm wrong. By that time, a number of trolls would have repeatedly told him he was fat. I think that his "svelte" look grew out of a response to that, as well as an attempt to appear physically intimidating to the trolls.

Would it kill him to attempt an expression in some of his pictures? I know he isn't good at them, but Godbear, show some teeth, open your eyes a little. There must be a middle ground between manic loon and suffered a stroke.

Oh, no no. Not happening. Chris had (supposedly) been told that he was looking too dour in his facebook pics about a year ago. Chris responded:

Yes, but it is hard for me to be happy or smiley when I don't Feel happy.

This was back in the days when Chris was outright frowning in his pics. The best he would do to straighten up his face was either a tired-looking smile, or just a sort of straight-lipped, somewhat blank stare into the camera - faces he continues to make to this day. Christian Chandler is composed of two elements, carbon and entitlement. Wrap that sense of entitlement in a history of getting whatever he wanted in a rush, and douse it in a steady stream of increasing desperation, and what you end up with is someone who is used to being served, but cannot get what he desires. Chris is frowning in order to broadcast to the world not merely his unhappiness, but his neediness as well.

Its interesting, but in a subtle way, Chris is admitting defeat and calling for assistance.