OKCupid update?

[snowkitten91]

I'm sure in his mind's eye, he thinks his hair looks like this:

Or, like this:

 

[CatParty]

 

[KatsuKitty]

Speaking as a boy with perfect hair, it's not even easy to maintain when it's short. I spend twenty minutes every morning cursing at the blowdryer because it's still too wavy on the ends.

My advice to Chris is to shave it all off and wear a wig. Whatever he's got is gone.

 

[OR 345]

My hair only gets to my shoulders before I cut it, and even then I put a lot of work into maintaining it. If, by some horrific miracle, my hair ever got that bad, I'd probably panic and shave it.

 

[The Lurker]

I wish there was a way we could help Chris... It's awful seeing a person's life deteriorating before our very eyes...

If only there was some way to reach him in a way that he would actually listen, without getting defensive or upset...

 

[EzioCanLeapofFaith]

I wish there was a way we could help Chris... It's awful seeing a person's life deteriorating before our very eyes...

If only there was some way to reach him in a way that he would actually listen, without getting defensive or upset...

Sadly he needs to help himself first. He seems to not want to do anything towards self-improvement, like this it's impossible to help him. We can't do anything besides watch him sink lower and lower.
It's interesting (and terrifying at the same time) how he has deteriorated over time, not only physically but mentally aswell..some of those facebook posts are quite depressing.

 

[Saney]

I wish there was a way we could help Chris... It's awful seeing a person's life deteriorating before our very eyes...

If only there was some way to reach him in a way that he would actually listen, without getting defensive or upset...

You speak the impossible. It would be easier to move a mountain, or make iJustine a tolerable person.

 

[BillRiley]

I wish there was a way we could help Chris... It's awful seeing a person's life deteriorating before our very eyes...

If only there was some way to reach him in a way that he would actually listen, without getting defensive or upset...

Well, if you really want to help Chris, here's what you do.

1. Get whatever plastic surgery you need to make yourself into a hot supermodel.
2. Get a six-seven figure job.
3. Go to Ruckersville, VA.
4. Find Chris-Ch­an (Don't worry about locating him, just follow your nose.)
5. Approach him carefully, remembering that YOU have to initiate all conversation while he sits there counting his McNuggets and mumbling to himself.
6. Provide him with da sexy time.
7. Marry him. (Remember to bring at least a six pack of Glade air fresheners.)
8. Bear him a cute, pretty little flaxen-haired daughter so he can dubly name her Chrystal Weston Chandler after the illustrious metal minded from the ground.
9. Support him for the rest of your life, cook and clean and take care of the children while Chris sits on his fat ass playing vidya and inventing new ways to embarrass himself in public.

Or, you could just skip the whole thing.

 

[The Lurker]

Well, if you really want to help Chris, here's what you do.

...

Or, you could just skip the whole thing.

Well yeah, I get that he is like that. But... I feel like what he needs right now is a friend. Someone who will push him in the right direction while still being friendly and NOT making demands. Maybe he might appreciate it more now then a couple years back, considering it seems like he's beginning to listen more...

Then again, he could act the exact same way and push everyone away unless theyre his dream girl.

I just think some of his defensiveness with people stems from the fact that people have a hard time being patient with him. Most of the conversations ive read (i havent read them all, im fairly new to the CWCki) lead into insults and rude behavior...

Of course its his responsibility to listen for himself. But when the other end is using words that make him feel looked down upon, he feels like people are just trying to mess with him.

I don't blame him for that... because if someone I didn't like was telling me how to live my life, I don't think I'd listen, either. Of course, theres a fine line... but still.

I just wonder if maybe he'd be open to friendly guidance now that its been a few years and hes begun to think more. I mean, he took some of the advice in the dating site thread... thats a start.

 

[LordCustos3]

Well yeah, I get that he is like that. But... I feel like what he needs right now is a friend. Someone who will push him in the right direction while still being friendly and NOT making demands. Maybe he might appreciate it more now then a couple years back, considering it seems like he's beginning to listen more...

Citation Needed.
I think, if anything, He's listening less.

Then again, he could act the exact same way and push everyone away unless theyre his dream girl.

At this point, I suspect he'd even push away his dreamgirl.

I just think some of his defensiveness with people stems from the fact that people have a hard time being patient with him. Most of the conversations ive read (i havent read them all, im fairly new to the CWCki) lead into insults and rude behavior...

Not to sound like an A-Log, buuuuutttttt....
OPL is plenty rude to anyone who is being patient with him. That is WHY people can't be patient with him. All it leads to is abuse.
This is why there are no White Knights in his corner.
The nicer someone was to him, the more likely he would be to abuse them. Ask Vivian Gee. Ask sonichuizcool.
Never forget, he's absolutely horrid to people who aren't even aware that he exists. Go check out the "Adam Stackhouse" entry on the CWCki if you doubt that.

I just wonder if maybe he'd be open to friendly guidance now that its been a few years and hes begun to think more. I mean, he took some of the advice in the dating site thread... thats a start.

The only change I saw was switching from the frumpy picture to the goofy one.

 

[EzioCanLeapofFaith]

Well, if you really want to help Chris, here's what you do.

1. Get whatever plastic surgery you need to make yourself into a hot supermodel.
....

She can't be a supermodel because supermodels are tall women and Chris would not date tall women, it's on his sweetheart requirement list

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

OPL is plenty rude to anyone who is being patient with him. That is WHY people can't be patient with him. All it leads to is abuse.
This is why there are no White Knights in his corner.
The nicer someone was to him, the more likely he would be to abuse them. Ask Vivian Gee. Ask sonichuizcool.
Never forget, he's absolutely horrid to people who aren't even aware that he exists. Go check out the "Adam Stackhouse" entry on the CWCki if you doubt that.

All completely true. Even though I believe he legitimately wants companionship, someone to talk to and be friends with... he defines those things as "people I can use for my own selfish ends". It just happens that one of his more important selfish ends is currently feeling less lonely, when it used to be more about material gain.

And no, of course I'm not saying "not being lonely" is a selfish thing to desire, but the way he goes about it is because he denies anyone else the right to be the center of attention ever.

 

[Saney]

OPL is plenty rude to anyone who is being patient with him. That is WHY people can't be patient with him. All it leads to is abuse.
This is why there are no White Knights in his corner.
The nicer someone was to him, the more likely he would be to abuse them. Ask Vivian Gee. Ask sonichuizcool.
Never forget, he's absolutely horrid to people who aren't even aware that he exists. Go check out the "Adam Stackhouse" entry on the CWCki if you doubt that.

Don't forget Alec. Guy must have the patience of a saint to put up with Chris for so long.

 

[Iron Sheik]

You don't really need patience to put up with Chris, just the ability to talk to a brick wall.

 

[DevilDog]

Well, if you really want to help Chris, here's what you do.

...

Or, you could just skip the whole thing.

Well yeah, I get that he is like that. But... I feel like what he needs right now is a friend. Someone who will push him in the right direction while still being friendly and NOT making demands. Maybe he might appreciate it more now then a couple years back, considering it seems like he's beginning to listen more...

Then again, he could act the exact same way and push everyone away unless theyre his dream girl.

I just think some of his defensiveness with people stems from the fact that people have a hard time being patient with him. Most of the conversations ive read (i havent read them all, im fairly new to the CWCki) lead into insults and rude behavior...

Of course its his responsibility to listen for himself. But when the other end is using words that make him feel looked down upon, he feels like people are just trying to mess with him.

I don't blame him for that... because if someone I didn't like was telling me how to live my life, I don't think I'd listen, either. Of course, theres a fine line... but still.

I just wonder if maybe he'd be open to friendly guidance now that its been a few years and hes begun to think more. I mean, he took some of the advice in the dating site thread... thats a start.

Buddy, I actually tried, seriously, Chris is the closest thing to immovable that I know of. For starters, the is literally no way of contacting him, (barring an in-person visit). I spent a while trying to figure out what to say to him in an email, you need to realize something, it doesn't matter what you say. He's so paranoid that NOTHING isn't a troll attack. And secondly, even if you could talk to him, you'd find that he wouldn't respond to jack shit, the reason we still have hope that he can change is his dating/FB stuff. He writes things about himself like anyone writes anything on the internet, as something that, theoretically could be true, but has never been done. He isn't just some selfish asshole, he's Chris-Chan, 30 year old manchild who hasn't worked for anything in his life, without any real social interaction he's created his own world of selfishness, one which almost transcends the concept of selfishness. i.e he CAN'T see the world as being anything but one big TROLL responsible for his problems. In short, Chris has been raised and trained...to view the world and everyone in it HIS way...and there's not a damn thing that you're going to do about it. You're trying to erase 30 years of self-indulgent lies, that's not easy...I'm sure I came off as A-loggy there, but I'm being HONEST. All that being said, I'm not giving up on him, I'm ANYTHING but a white knight, but no one is beyond repair. I might take a trip out east sometime, if I do, I'm planning on stopping by 14 Branchland Ct., no trolling, no cameras, just a guy wanting to talk. I know that last statement is pretty weird and all, but there are a lot of people out there that have done some weird stuff cause of Chris, Asperchu, Liquid, Pickleman, hell, the CWCki is pretty impressive. Whew, now that I got that speech done with, what do you all think of my sig?

 

[Hasharin]

he defines those things as "people I can use for my own selfish ends". It just happens that one of his more important selfish ends is currently feeling less lonely, when it used to be more about material gain.

That's basically what all people do (but most of them don't want to admit that). I don't befriend someone because of some sacred moral duty; as a social animal I just have need for some companionship just like my friend. And so we mutually use ourselves for our own selfish ends.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

^But you and I comprehend that sometimes you must put some of your desires aside if you want to keep your relationships. Chris doesn't.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

All interpersonal relationships worth a damn are reciprocal. Chris doesn't grasp that very well. He wants to take, take, take, and in return he feels that he is giving "good-emotional-feelings" to you. But that doesn't even mean anything beyond repeated nothings that are completely hollow. Suppose you did his laundry, bought him video games, and listened to his problems all day. He might say something like "Mmm. I yuv yew. Yer so pretty." And he'd consider that even, or, more likely, feel that you then owed him some more for his TRUE and HONEST fondfulness. Chris is selfish and has the thought capacity of a mentally disabled child. There are connections which never have and never will be made in his brain. He's essentially an empty vessel into which simple repeated patterns could be poured. Those patterns became television and white trash victimization. And now the vessel is full. No more patterns of behavior can be held. Change will come in the form of the degradation of these patterns. He can change, but only as a perversion of what he already is. He will never improve. He is terminally hopeless.

 

[Marvin]

Well yeah, I get that he is like that. But... I feel like what he needs right now is a friend.

Buddy, I actually tried, seriously, Chris is the closest thing to immovable that I know of.

Really, I can just stop right here and not read the rest of your post. Chris isn't immovable, he just won't make friends with people on the internet.

And that is a very reasonable stance for Chris. He can't tell the difference between trolls and non-trolls. And he can't even reason, logically, that the person on the other end is unlikely to be a troll because they don't know it's him. Because we always do know it's him.

Chris has damn good reasons to be paranoid, at least on the internet.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Really, I can just stop right here and not read the rest of your post. Chris isn't immovable, he just won't make friends with people on the internet.

And that is a very reasonable stance for Chris. He can't tell the difference between trolls and non-trolls. And he can't even reason, logically, that the person on the other end is unlikely to be a troll because they don't know it's him. Because we always do know it's him.

Chris has damn good reasons to be paranoid, at least on the internet.

Brother, Chris's paranoia reminds the Hulkster of the Macho Man's paranoia before Wrestlemania V. Macho Man was paranoid that Miss Elizabeth and the Hulkster were more than friends. And while it is true that the Hulkster loved Elizabeth, it was strictly a platonic love. The Hulkster loved Elizabeth like a sister. And Elizabeth was a sister, as she was a Hulkamaniac. But Macho Man was so paranoid that he let his paranoia get between the Hulkster's and his friendship. The Hulkster saw the true colors of the Macho Man during that time. This lead to the Mega Powers exploding, man. It was such a big explosion that Donald Trump had to have seismologists check the Trump Plaza's foundation to make sure it would be structurally sound for the match. And that is similar to Chris thinking everybody is a troll. Yes, there are some trolls, but most people have no idea who he is. But Chris, like the Macho Man, is just too blind to see this, man.