The plantation class wanted slaves because they got power and wealth from their free labor. They were not just being racist.
I agree but I do think there would be resistance even with a generous payout. Slavery came about from greed (I will always stand by that, "hatred" makes no sense as an explanation at all, "racism" is a propaganda rationale, "greed" is the actual motivator) but it came to be a full way of life for them. Grew into an ideology and culture over time, and one that was very distinct from the Colonial world (that also had slaves, but also had White indentured servants, and wasn't overly dependent on either). It was a self-image (the paternalist planter wasn't really a thing like they claimed, but the self-image mattered), it was a culture. By the end it was morphing, at the fringe of Southern intellectual thought, into a complete rejection of the Enlightenment world, something symbolized to me by jousting competitions and George Fitzhugh.
More than anything I believe, from what I've read of the era, that planters genuinely LIKED having Black slaves around. Which is why i say "hatred" is absurd. They specifically preferred living in a world with Black slaves. They wouldn't have expressed it in these terms, but it was almost like they viewed the races as existing symbiotically. Or, keeping to their way of speaking, you could talk about it as them having a culture that was as much based on African domestication and chattel as the Sioux on horses or Aryans on cattle. But at the fringe of Southern thought it had gone full on past necessary evil into open pride in the institution with desires to spread it to other groups (like General Sibley aiming to enslave the Apache/Navajo in the Arizona Campaign) and promoting it as outright preferable to other cultures even on its own terms (and not just as a situational thing).
You could do graduated emancipation easily in the Colonies if there was enough money for it and things went a little better. Avoid Haiti and (very hard, technological advances come along when they do for a reason) the cotton gin for a little longer and I genuinely think you can get it banned in the Jefferson Administration. It came close in some Southern states.
By the 1850s or earlier, gradual emancipation like that is probably a lost cause.
The big symbol to me of the Southern planter class's dependence - not just material but emotional - on slavery was their manservants. Now, without the Blacks they could have used Whites, Europeans and Yankees did have servants to. All aristocracies have servants. But Southerners had a level of access to servants that even the European aristocracy could only dream of. Southern men and women were given somewhat younger boys/girls as servants as children who would initially be playmates and then later be lifetime companions. Of course there were mammies, to, that for all practical purposes were the real mother of the planter child (taking care of material needs day-to-day).
Picture a big boy with a little boy that tags along, plays games and fishes with him, grows up to be his butler, serves him until the day he dies. Picture more or less the same with a big girl that treats a Black baby like a living doll, then grows up to command her as a maid. Picture the servant being in their presence almost their entire life and sleeping at the food of the bed like a dog (not that that's what they want, but that's what's expected) or in a corner of the room/side closet to be ready to attend to them at night. Imagine the complex range of feelings the master has for the woman that breastfed him, changed his diapers and served him his earliest meals as a toddler.
I often think that this is what the Confederate leadership really fought for. The money would have been there regardless; their land and for the most part their labor force turned out to be intact even after the War (though capital was destroyed and a hostile government imposed). I think they didn't want to give up the feudal LARPing fantasy they had let themselves been caught up in, and the Blacks were the "cornerstone" of that (I'm sorry, I'm feeling very indulgent today).
If you want a good example of this mentality, the movie Class of 61 has two good scenes in. One contrasts the lordly Atlantic mentality against the ruthless/brutal Mississippi River Valley mentality by having a dinner conversation between a Virginia (?) family that plays the game, like Jefferson used to, of pretending to be le enlightened gentle lords, and then getting quietly offended/upset when their boorish Mississippi guest talks, while eating, about the best way to breed more niggers. The other is a planter finding out his manservant wishes he was free and being genuinely hurt. Which I think many of the aristocrats were, their self-delusion ran deep enough that the house slaves were just
different from the field slaves, and often they found that was not the case.
The yeomen, of course, would have gladly taken a deal that got the Blacks out of the country. They didn't live around them and they felt a sort of fear born of distrust.
Edit: For the Black side of it, I sometimes picture Andrew Jackson's manservant, whose name I don't remember. Stories about him are probably tainted by that Gone With the Wind romanticizing stuff that people were doing around the time he died. Stuff he would have played into, he ran the Hermitage as a sort of museum on behalf of the Middle Tennessee aristocracy. But regardless, Uncle Whoever-the-Fuck asked to be buried by the Jacksons in the family cemetery. The Jacksons themselves, there's no fucking way they would have accepted that in their lives. Slaves were never buried in family plots. But this guy
wanted it. They called them uncle and aunt, by the way, because they needed some polite form of address for older Black folks. Another one of those things that shows that most people are decent even if society leads them to mindlessly support evil. You couldn't call a Black man/woman sir/ma'am, but Whites instinctively felt it was wrong to address elderly Black people by the first name alone.
I strongly recommend reading old slave WPA interviews. You get tons of this kind of stuff about the
feelings, in a non-propaganda way, around people who lived and worked around each other their whole lives.
Edit: In some way I sometimes think the masters really did love their house slaves. But they loved them like you'd love a horse or a cowdog or a barn cat. It's a love of the purest selfishness that admits no role for choice in the other party, and these people were not horses, dogs and cats and the vast majority of them could only will themselves to pretend for the role that the master forced on them. The planters cared about nobody but themselves (an attitude that also bled into how they ran their country) and I've often thought that many of them were probably deeply lonely and miserable people deep down inside in a way that the yeomen and the Black freedmen would never be.