perhaps the most retarded idea I've ever had (Registered Agent Edition)

If this actually ends up happening a 24/7 live stream of the front and back of the house is a must.
This is genius. Everytime someone comes to harass the house just enable text-to-speech donations so people can taunt them . If anyone remembers that stream called the "Window of Life" that was a camera facing a alley with a bunch of crackheads it would be just like that except with trannies. You could probably pay the mortgage on the house pretty quickly assuming you got enough trannies to show up
 
Can't help you on the property part, but I have a suggestion on how the rest of us might support the endeavor.

It has been a while since I checked an Amazon packing slip, so if it includes a billing address, this may be no good. Those willing could use the Amazon subscription feature that appears on a lot of disposable products to regularly send staples to the address; rice, chickpeas, crushed tomatoes, pasta, toilet paper, etc. Knowing that free food and necessities will arrive on the regular will be a nice incentive and make the situation more sustainable.

If privacy is still a concern, have the bastard make a new email address, make an Amazon account from it, and then we can send him gift cards to buy what he needs. Now, this would require the helmet-head to not just spend it all on funko pops, but no plan is perfect. Otherwise, you can all just send him a bunch of Monster Girl Harem porn on kindle. At least he won't be starved for entertainment when his shit-tier rural internet goes out, again, for the fifth time that day. I'm not sure if those dox you either, so I may just be farting out of my mouth.
 
I think the scenario is one that could leave you in a precarious position. IMO anyone willing to jump into a new residence with the admittedly considerable drawback of swatting, is someone who may dip in the middle of the night, leaving you unaware for ten/twenty days and setting up a major headache. Not responding in the assigned timeframe for legal matters could be costly. If there was someone to vouch for said person that could help, I suppose.

I know you explained about PO Boxes and the like but the entire list of registered agents, themselves? Have you exhausted all the little offices in WY who give no fucks - say one on the same street as the PD? Good luck to you. This is craziness.
 
I just can't see this not blowing up. I literally can't imagine a scenario where this works out. This is fucking rough.
How I'd want it to go is I get the mail and take calls while pumping iron all day in some small house I got for sneeding.
How it will actually go is my parents would get swatted and insane trannies would try to destroy any chance I would have of moving upwards in life.
 
My concern would be the ensuring that the aforementioned "poor bastard" (pauper bastardis, to use the correct legal terminology) doesn't use the company HQ as a venue for some illegal side-line, either through their own accord, or as a result of coercion,

The house is going to be a target. Given the psychopaths who are currently circling the Farms, I would also be concerned about people planting illegal material on the property, or violent attacks on the building and/or occupant.

It's a hell of a risk.
 
I'd definitely be worried about doing something like that in an actual residence (as opposed to a office-like scenario where you go there to work and then leave... even if it's zoned residential). Problems include the obvious Greta-type scenario but also hazardous (or hoax) materials in the mail, potential search warrants, etc. Shit that people might not do to a more 'professional' setting (especially legal offices of some kind)

boggles the mind that this is the route that has to be explored because normal ones just don't exist. I was going to wonder what happens when the person in question goes on vacation or has a hobby or family that takes them away from the location for a few days but I guess that's probably a moot point?
 
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My concern would be the ensuring that the aforementioned "poor bastard" (pauper bastardis, to use the correct legal terminology) doesn't use the company HQ as a venue for some illegal side-line, either through their own accord, or as a result of coercion,

The house is going to be a target. Given the psychopaths who are currently circling the Farms, I would also be concerned about people planting illegal material on the property, or violent attacks on the building and/or occupant.

It's a hell of a risk.
Null needs to hire this guy:

 
Small town is a good idea, but why some rando and not a good ol boy small town lawyuh? Established competency, professional rules, etc. Steady income for them probably would be quite the plus.

Some people are overthinking this and/or don't know how shit works in bumfuckistan.

If it's a small town, you can go talk to the cops and say, "Hey, people are trying to SWAT me, if you get a call saying there's a problem, don't kick my door down."

Get a place with a fence (or better, a wall) and get a pack of doggos with the run of the place. They don't even have to be pits, cattle dogs and border collies are nippy as fuck.

Get a place in a town pretty far off the freeway. Trannies are not going to want to go out to a trailer in Crescent Valley, Nevada to tangle with someone. They are afraid of rural people and the first time they see a Trump flag, they're going to nope the fuck out.

Sounds like fun for someone. I have obligations here in California, but if I didn't, I would be game.
Molotovs. But yeah

I would caution against buying property, if only because if I was an insane tranny, autist, or both, my goal wouldn't be to SWAT it but use local government to complain about any and everything that might be a code violation and swamp you with citations and fees.
Get a totally paved lot. Like a place that used to be a gas station. Nothing to complain about if nothing is there
 
I'd definitely be worried about doing something like that in an actual residence (as opposed to a office-like scenario where you go there to work and then leave... even if it's zoned residential). Problems include the obvious Greta-type scenario but also hazardous (or hoax) materials in the mail, potential search warrants, etc. Shit that people might not do to a more 'professional' setting (especially legal offices of some kind)

boggles the mind that this is the route that has to be explored because normal ones just don't exist. I was going to wonder what happens when the person in question goes on vacation or has a hobby or family that takes them away from the location for a few days but I guess that's probably a moot point?
I could buy any kind of very small store for the purpose but the issue is forcing someone to stay there a number of hours a week. I'd first have to figure out how many hours those are, and then I'd have to pay for the service. You'd essentially become my employee and I don't know if I can afford an employee. Even at $7.25/hr for 36 hours a week, that is $1044 a month. I would need some idea to generate money to make that work.

Edit: The upside to this idea is that I could open a local branch and you could cash checks for me, but this opens a whole box of worms where I have to know if this constitutes physical presence in Delaware and thus is applicable to other laws.
 
Becoming a remote landlord wont be cheap and brings on a whole new batch of issues. Lots of issue. Anyone willing to live in a crackshack is going to flake.

Cobra is a known person. He isn't going anywhere. Pay him piece meal for the scanning and he will have an incentive to do it for booze money. Or send him pre-paid flat rate boxes to just drop the mail in and then call the post office to pick up as needed.

Even if he fails in doing it eventually it will buy you another year to figure something else out.
 
If a town is small enough, it will be extremely easy to make the local sheriff's office aware that there is a controversial person there and that any domestic disturbances are BS, especially if it is a single person and the Sheriff knows that they live alone
 
Becoming a remote landlord wont be cheap and brings on a whole new batch of issues. Lots of issue. Anyone willing to live in a crackshack is going to flake.

Cobra is a known person. He isn't going anywhere. Pay him piece meal for the scanning and he will have an incentive to do it for booze money. Or send him pre-paid flat rate boxes to just drop the mail in and then call the post office to pick up as needed.

Even if he fails in doing it eventually it will buy you another year to figure something else out.
Cobra is probably willing to be paid in pizzas which is perfect for a job like this.
 
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Dear Leader, I don't think this is going to work.

Speaking from personal experience (powerlevelling: landlord) you really should consider the kind of demographic who live in the areas where housing is extremely cheap. There is a reason they are so cheap. You will quickly find that there are no suitable secretaries who'd be willing to live there no matter how much you pay them and the people who already live there are not suitable as secretaries. Everyone who would be willing to do it would either fold within a few weeks, do a shitty job, sabotage you, leak to the press or sling dope out of your house as a side hustle.

Also consider that those cheap houses tend to be universally in a state of disrepair to the point where they are not legally considered habitable. So there is an extra hidden host to restoring the house to where it can even be lived in that may be double, triple or even 10x what you purchased it for.

Being a landlord also means you become responsible for the house's ongoing maintenance and everything that happens there, which has ongoing costs. If your chosen secretary starts using your property as a trap house for extra cash on the side, you might get fucked over because of it.

Look into getting a small office in a business park that wont be used as a dwelling instead, its going to be more expensive initially but the ongoing costs are negligible compared to a residential property and you will have a much easier time hiring a proper, qualified secretary since they will have a decent office to themselves to work in.

As others have pointed out, the main downside to this approach is hiring a proper employee rather than a rental agreement that includes this kinda work. But honestly I think that is your ONLY option simply because the rental agreement shenanigans is only going to be taken up by the desperate and the ghetto dwellers. You don't want those types sorting your mail. Plus that may violate some labor laws.
 
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