Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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I've got one, my first year at college, I started in the winter semester, so I was a bit out of whack. I got paired up with a guy I'll call Nutjob. I had texted him just to ask about the way we wanted to set up the room and he seemed pretty antisocial. I moved into the dorms about a week before classes started, and he wasn't back so I had the room to myself. He had set up the room basically like a single room, which he wasn't supposed to do. I took the top bunk because I assumed that he had chosen bottom. Sunday came, and he came back. I was greeted to one of the most bizarre people I've ever met. He had a mullet so greasy that I could literally smell it as he walked into the room, he had the worst acne I've ever seen, and his mouth looked like he'd bitten a grenade.
I asked about taking down the bunkbeds and he said that was alright. After we took the beds down, I went to move my stuff to the side of the room with the bed I'd been sleeping on and he had already started putting his sheets on. I asked him if he wanted his bed, and he said he hadn't been sleeping on it. I found out that he'd been sleeping on cardboard boxes underneath the bed.
I have more but only if you guys are interested.
 
My personal lunatic is this fellow. He is a semi-informed pseudo-intellectual who can be alarmingly off-base and delusional about his own abilities, and who loves making hot-takes about art. Some of his greatest hits:



Yes, he recorded himself writing a poem and then declares it an immortal masterpiece.





Twitter

I think he has a hidden Facebook group.

He has a Wikipedia page which I don't think would stand up to the least bit of notability criteria if assessed by staff, and is probably self-written.
 
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I am a nigger said:
I've got one, my first year at college, I started in the winter semester, so I was a bit out of whack. I got paired up with a guy I'll call Nutjob. I had texted him just to ask about the way we wanted to set up the room and he seemed pretty antisocial. I moved into the dorms about a week before classes started, and he wasn't back so I had the room to myself. He had set up the room basically like a single room, which he wasn't supposed to do. I took the top bunk because I assumed that he had chosen bottom. Sunday came, and he came back. I was greeted to one of the most bizarre people I've ever met. He had a mullet so greasy that I could literally smell it as he walked into the room, he had the worst acne I've ever seen, and his mouth looked like he'd bitten a grenade.
I asked about taking down the bunkbeds and he said that was alright. After we took the beds down, I went to move my stuff to the side of the room with the bed I'd been sleeping on and he had already started putting his sheets on. I asked him if he wanted his bed, and he said he hadn't been sleeping on it. I found out that he'd been sleeping on cardboard boxes underneath the bed.
I have more but only if you guys are interested.
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m o a r
 
Blake Bumbleby said:
m o a r
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For about the first three weeks of class, he never showered or changed clothes. He would wake up an hour before me, grab his briefcase that he used instead of a backpack, and go to class. He'd come back in the evening and pretty much immediately go to sleep. I had to ask the RA to try and get him to shower, and the only way he got Nutjob to do it was by buying him shampoo, conditioner, and bodywash with his own money. Sadly, daily showers didn't really help anything, the smell just metastasized. It was so bad that I had the window open in subfreezing temperature just to try and avoid it. The only silver lining to the whole thing was that I could smoke weed in the room and you wouldn't smell it. I wish I was exaggerating.
One night, I was talking to some of the other dudes on the floor and I mentioned that he was my roommate. They laughed and told me that his last roommate had moved out because he caught Nutjob masturbating on the floor in the middle of the room.
There's a couple more but I'm lazy
 
I've got quite an interesting (potential) personal lolcow. Unfortunately, I'm only 60% sure that her close only friends know of her true nature since to outsiders she only really looks like your below average goth, and while she does have some interesting accounts on Instagram, I'd have to try and gather information up, which I'm shit at.

Meet a psychopath that's been prowling around my feed, and has encroached my personal life quite a few times, she was ignorable until she fully decided to be a retard and indirectly sperg out at me one day. She seemed rather unhinged so I decided to ask around for more information on this person, and by god, did I get a nice surprise from her.

Committed offenses:
  • A complete drug head (which she proudly shows) including injecting unknown drugs into her probably collapsed veins as part of her 'heroin chic aesthetic' on Instagram, abuse bath salts, smokes weed, snorts coke, inhales cigarettes, alcohol, and fuck knows what.
  • Has an obsession to look like Courtney Love, and wants her exact life to play out as the infamous duo Courtney and Kurt, as they all do I suppose. I won't be surprised if someone OD's in their greenhouse because of her.
  • Has a porn account on Instagram (unknown name, friend blurred it to protect his ass) for unknown men to jack off to, if that attention wasn't enough, her hashtags on these porn pictures would make you want to willingly go into a coma. The one shown to me was one of her legs, of which is cut up with a razor blade and used her blood to paint a love heart on her leg, with her hand covering her beaten vagina with the caption 'Daddy'.
  • Speaking of self-harm, this girl loves to post up lovely child-friendly pictures of her artwork all the time on her story feed, including one of her leg of which she cut a smiley face into.
  • Openly expresses her love for DDLG, and her love for beating up in the bed - and posts these pictures for the public on her main Instagram because we all love to know what sex life someone has. Has many pictures of her black eyes which was gained when fucking someone, and loves to take pictures directly after sex, half-naked, with her now current boyfriend beside her to boast on how she just recently fucked someone that looks like they entered the 5th dimension.
  • Is so insecure about herself, every single female that glances at her druggie boyfriend is called a whore or a seducer. She also aggressively stalks and merges into those females to become a replica of them, quite fun really.
  • Married a 30-something-year-old man at the age of 15/16 who is a porn writer and happily split up that family which included the wife, their autistic son, and the now-jailed porn writer for a sex offense crime. Funnily enough, instead of leaving the guy, The wife actually asked her to join the relationship, apparently, she is also into bestiality as well. After the divorce, he still sends her love letters from jail, which she now ignores for her current boyfriend, because she's a great romantic.
  • Everyone is sure she's going to baby trap, her whole life revolves around her love interests, her boyfriend could sneeze and the girl has an hour-long story of him. She's officially made her entire life about him, and even changed her whole facebook page, dedicated to their relationship with pictures only 3 seconds after becoming facebook official.
  • Best part? This girl is currently only 18. She's a complete riot in the making.

There's more, but I don't know her enough to fish this out, still, quite entertaining to watch from afar, her friends are equally batshit insane but she takes the cake.
 
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dumbcaned said:
I've got quite an interesting (potential) personal lolcow. Unfortunately, I'm only 60% sure that her close only friends know of her true nature since to outsiders she only really looks like your below average goth, and while she does have some interesting accounts on Instagram, I'd have to try and gather information up, which I'm shit at.

Meet a psychopath that's been prowling around my feed, and has encroached my personal life quite a few times, she was ignorable until she fully decided to be an exceptional individual and indirectly sperg out at me one day. She seemed rather unhinged so I decided to ask around for more information on this person, and by god, did I get a nice surprise from her.

Committed offenses:
  • A complete drug head (which she proudly shows) including injecting unknown drugs into her probably collapsed veins as part of her 'heroin chic aesthetic' on Instagram, abuse bath salts, smokes weed, snorts coke, inhales cigarettes, alcohol, and fuck knows what.
  • Has an obsession to look like Courtney Love, and wants her exact life to play out as the infamous duo Courtney and Kurt, as they all do I suppose. I won't be surprised if someone OD's in their greenhouse because of her.
  • Has a porn account on Instagram (unknown name, friend blurred it to protect his ass) for unknown men to jack off to, if that attention wasn't enough, her hashtags on these porn pictures would make you want to willingly go into a coma. The one shown to me was one of her legs, of which is cut up with a razor blade and used her blood to paint a love heart on her leg, with her hand covering her beaten vagina with the caption 'Daddy'.
  • Speaking of self-harm, this girl loves to post up lovely child-friendly pictures of her artwork all the time on her story feed, including one of her leg of which she cut a smiley face into.
  • Openly expresses her love for DDLG, and her love for beating up in the bed - and posts these pictures for the public on her main Instagram because we all love to know what sex life someone has. Has many pictures of her black eyes which was gained when fucking someone, and loves to take pictures directly after sex, half-naked, with her now current boyfriend beside her to boast on how she just recently fucked someone that looks like they entered the 5th dimension.
  • Is so insecure about herself, every single female that glances at her druggie boyfriend is called a whore or a seducer. She also aggressively stalks and merges into those females to become a replica of them, quite fun really.
  • Married a 30-something-year-old man at the age of 15/16 who is a porn writer and happily split up that family which included the wife, their autistic son, and the now-jailed porn writer for a sex offense crime. Funnily enough, instead of leaving the guy, The wife actually asked her to join the relationship, apparently, she is also into bestiality as well. After the divorce, he still sends her love letters from jail, which she now ignores for her current boyfriend, because she's a great romantic.
  • Everyone is sure she's going to baby trap, her whole life revolves around her love interests, her boyfriend could sneeze and the girl has an hour-long story of him. She's officially made her entire life about him, and even changed her whole facebook page, dedicated to their relationship with pictures only 3 seconds after becoming facebook official.
  • Best part? This girl is currently only 18. She's a complete riot in the making.
  • EDIT: She also happily drugs her current unwillingly boyfriend with bathsalts to have sex with him, this is definitely rape but I don't know if he has enough brain cells to realise this.

There's more, but I don't know her enough to fish this out, still, quite entertaining to watch from afar, her friends are equally batshit insane but she takes the cake.
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How could someone that young become so self-destructive already even for teen standards?
 
The Great Chandler said:
How could someone that young become so self-destructive already even for teen standards?
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Preeetty sure it's an amalgamation of mental illnesses, a potentially shitty childhood, and zero shame. She accepted her fate of being this way at 14 when she first abused drugs and refused to improve on herself. If she can do that in only 4 years, I wonder what feats of crazy she can achieve in the years to come.
 
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I am a nigger said:
For about the first three weeks of class, he never showered or changed clothes. He would wake up an hour before me, grab his briefcase that he used instead of a backpack, and go to class. He'd come back in the evening and pretty much immediately go to sleep. I had to ask the RA to try and get him to shower, and the only way he got Nutjob to do it was by buying him shampoo, conditioner, and bodywash with his own money. Sadly, daily showers didn't really help anything, the smell just metastasized. It was so bad that I had the window open in subfreezing temperature just to try and avoid it. The only silver lining to the whole thing was that I could smoke weed in the room and you wouldn't smell it. I wish I was exaggerating.
One night, I was talking to some of the other dudes on the floor and I mentioned that he was my roommate. They laughed and told me that his last roommate had moved out because he caught Nutjob masturbating on the floor in the middle of the room.
There's a couple more but I'm lazy
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My ex-brother-in-law had a riotous story he told about his freshman roommate at college. It was a 4-man suite sharing a bathroom, and one of them would leave his logs in the toilet unflushed, but get this, with no fucking used toilet paper on top of it! Or anywhere else that would have indicated that he actually wiped. Where it gets even weirder was that all four talked about it constantly, and a certain level of Stalinesque paranoid suspicion was fostered. So whoever it was: A.) Knew they were all on to him, B.) Managed to avoid any abnormal suspicion, and C.) Didn't start wiping his ass or flushing when the heat was on!

The mystery was eventually solved, as it inevitably was going to be, when a dirty pair of jockeys with a Freightliner's skid marks inside were discovered. Of course, after the culprit was discovered it became obvious that the other three had all found him a tad, "off," in a vague way. They all had "the talk" with him after that, which still required constant reinforcement until they got him moved at the end of the semester. My BIL always said, the guy wasn't completely an anti-social type or anything, otherwise normal if maybe a bit of a momma's boy.

dumbcaned said:
Preeetty sure it's an amalgamation of mental illnesses, a potentially shitty childhood, and zero shame. She accepted her fate of being this way at 14 when she first abused drugs and refused to improve on herself. If she can do that in only 4 years, I wonder what feats of crazy she can achieve in the years to come.
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Actually, you're ticking off most of the items on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. It wasn't mentioned, but I'm going to guess she has few if any real friends, doesn't maintain interest in anything very long, but always has some new "thing," and a long history of trouble in school, with parents, and all authority. What OP described reads like one of the case studies in the seminal work on the subject, "The Mask of Sanity," by Dr. Harvey Cleckley.
 
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My boss.

If you've read anything I've written about a psycho who has to justify his own sociopathic behavior about how he uses women and the like, that's him; he's a fantastic cow, possibly even deserving of his own thread.

The fact that literally every single woman I know in my life wants to kick his nuts so hard after learning anything about him is proof enough. He is also constantly ridiculed by me and my friends, without even realizing it, despite claiming how in tune and worldly, especially with women, he is.

I cannot reiterate that he is a very poorly written sitcom character at best, and a borderline emotional psychopath at worst.
 
Joe Exotic, gay polyamorous former tiger zoo operator and fringe political candidate. Someone posted a thread about him in the past, but I think it died in PG. He is slated to be fully inactive, since he was arrested on federal charges of attempted murder by hire and also killing tigers in his "care." Here's the latest about this piece of work:

http://www.newson6.com/story/39666223/feds-exzookeeper-offered-cash-from-tiger-sales-for-hit

His Twitter, still up and I believe archived but I'll do it again for good measure.

https://mobile.twitter.com/joe_exotic?lang=en

http://archive.is/5hjwH

His Faceberg, still up, not sure who posts to it now but I'm guessing it's his husband. I will attempt to archive it as well.

https://m.facebook.com/joethetigerking/

http://archive.fo/beywv

He really had it in for the CEO of Big Cat Rescue, who is the person he attempted to have murdered. Fortunately the FBI caught wind of it, so they have all the evidence in the world to put his sorry ass away for the next 20+ years.
 
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Guts Gets Some said:
My boss.

If you've read anything I've written about a psycho who has to justify his own sociopathic behavior about how he uses women and the like, that's him; he's a fantastic cow, possibly even deserving of his own thread.

The fact that literally every single woman I know in my life wants to kick his nuts so hard after learning anything about him is proof enough. He is also constantly ridiculed by me and my friends, without even realizing it, despite claiming how in tune and worldly, especially with women, he is.

I cannot reiterate that he is a very poorly written sitcom character at best, and a borderline emotional psychopath at worst.
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thread. please. thanks.
 
I know this autist who was in my graphic arts class (college), he is obsessed with anime and got offended when I used the word weeb (wasn’t even referring to him as. He is sweet as he drew me art (which wasn’t very good but I appreciate the sentiment.)
I am also pretty sure he has claimed other peoples art as his own but I am not 100% sure. He makes everyone uncomfortable in class because he moans and wheezes.

Let me set the picture: tall dude almost like 5”8, chubby with mantits and a greasy face with a few pimples, black rimmed glasses, nasally voice, and usually wears a baggy short sleeve shirt, shorts, and sneakers.

Bizarre or funny things this dude has done:
* made a collage of animes for boys and animes for girls, the boy side had around 15 pictures of a anime and the girl side had around 3.
*talked about how he worries about the national debt
*said he had a dream where the national debt was a person like in hetalia.
* Is obsessed with sanrio
*When I was sitting alone he came up to me stared and said “SHES ALONE” in a whisper voice and left.
*declared his favorite game is Conkers Bad Fur Day; think about that for a second.
*said he has cosplayed as sailor moon characters.
*Has made horrible anti-trump and steven universe memes
*Would constantly tag me when I would come online in my classes group chat. When he talks he never shuts up, I tried talking to him once to be nice and he literally writes these essays he sends about anime.
*Wore a Special Olympics shirt to class.
*went and bought 8 sprites from the vending machines before class.
*Paces down a hallway before class

Art examples:
https://postimg.cc/gallery/20p2e6n3c/
 
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There's this guy who's locally known as "The Yellowman". He lives up to the name. He always wears yellow, and his house and everything in the front yard is painted yellow. He's crazy, but in a pleasant non-threatening way. He'll talk to you for hours about his daughters Brittney Spears and Christina Agulara (this was over 10 years ago at this point, so I'm sure it's now Ariana Gande and whatever other little Disney slut is popular now).

His house is the last residential one on a fairly industrial part of town, and his next-door neighbor (a car dealership) has tried to buy his house from him for years. I'm guessing they don't really like the yellow motif. On decent days you can see him playing drums in front of his house on a pair of upturned trash barrels, and he'll wave at anybody who beeps at him.

As I've said, he's harmless fun, but most people would avoid him because he's a bit of a chatterbox. In true Kiwi fashion though, I would usually go out of my way to talk to him because I always got a kick out of his stories, plus I could tell he was a bit lonely and appreciated somebody to talk to.
 
KiwiKritter said:
I know this autist who was in my graphic arts class (college), he is obsessed with anime and got offended when I used the word weeb (wasn’t even referring to him as. He is sweet as he drew me art (which wasn’t very good but I appreciate the sentiment.)
I am also pretty sure he has claimed other peoples art as his own but I am not 100% sure. He makes everyone uncomfortable in class because he moans and wheezes.

Let me set the picture: tall dude almost like 5”8, chubby with mantits and a greasy face with a few pimples, black rimmed glasses, nasally voice, and usually wears a baggy short sleeve shirt, shorts, and sneakers.

Bizarre or funny things this dude has done:
* made a collage of animes for boys and animes for girls, the boy side had around 15 pictures of a anime and the girl side had around 3.
*talked about how he worries about the national debt
*said he had a dream where the national debt was a person like in hetalia.
* Is obsessed with sanrio
*When I was sitting alone he came up to me stared and said “SHES ALONE” in a whisper voice and left.
*declared his favorite game is Conkers Bad Fur Day; think about that for a second.
*said he has cosplayed as sailor moon characters.
*Has made horrible anti-trump and steven universe memes
*Would constantly tag me when I would come online in my classes group chat. When he talks he never shuts up, I tried talking to him once to he nice and he literally writes these essays he sends about anime.
*Wore a Special Olympics shirt to class.
*went and bought 8 sprites from the vending machines before class.
*Paces down a hallway before class

Art examples:
https://postimg.cc/gallery/20p2e6n3c/
Click to expand...
175-F272-C-6260-4362-8-EDF-CC3264793-C8-E.jpg

Beautiful.
 
used to date a girl who was fucking unhinged a long time ago, but last year i contacted her after seeing that she had gotten help for most of her serious issues and had calmed down a lot. we had some friendly chats back and forth online which is how i found out some. interesting qualities of hers.

-- years later she still thinks she's transsexual and wants to transition into being a male. which all started when she met a transtrender on livejournal that used xie/xer pronouns
-- she is very open about her laundry list of fetishes, everything from ero guro to watersports to dickgirls/cuntboys dressed up as trannies
-- she is convinced to death that she is autistic and brings it up constantly, using evidence like hating food more complicated than kraft macaroni (she grew up poor and never got to expand her taste palette), enjoying the sensation of pressing buttons (common pleasures are stimming now), being hyperfixated on certain things (which is spergy but not really too out-of-bounds for normal people), and hating social interaction (just like every other nerd girl with social anxiety)
-- she admitted to me that she's doctor shopping for someone who will give her an official autism diagnosis
-- despite being ftm transsexual she's still apparently comfortable enough with her large chest and wide hips to wear a v-neck dress and post pictures of herself wearing it on tumblr
-- she claims to be asexual, or at least sex-repulsed, but still gleefully writes and uploads paragraphs about her nasty, very sexual fantasies involving her favourite characters
 
Troons continue to be a hilarious and horrific group where ever they go.

Check out this delicate flower of a woman going ballistic in a GameStop:


This monstrosity of hulking femininity is Ex-Navy Seal Kristen Beck.

Why oh why, are so many Troons ex-military?

Found another video where he's.. I mean "she's" teaching people how to bar fight...


His Twitter: https://twitter.com/valor4us
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Valor4us/



Wow, this dude is Troon-famous in a way, and completely fucking mental
 
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Kirkorov said:
Troons continue to be a hilarious and horrific group where ever they go.

Check out this delicate flower of a woman going ballistic in a GameStop:


This monstrosity of hulking femininity is Ex-Navy Seal Kristen Beck.

Why oh why, are so many Troons ex-military?

Found another video where he's.. I mean "she's" teaching people how to bar fight...


His Twitter: https://twitter.com/valor4us
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Valor4us/



Wow, this dude is Troon-famous in a way, and completely fucking mental
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At first I thought this was the guy who threatened Ben Shapiro and put his hands on him, but that was another hulking behemoth of femininity.
 
Don't got much, but in high school there was this kid. Guy was fat as fuck, glasses, ginger and wore a black leather jacket. He brought a kekistan flag to school and waved it around with his friend and was p anti-Semitic towards my Jewish friend James. He also yelled cyka bylat and a variety of poorly put together Russian words at me because one day I wore a ushanka since it was cold as balls out.
 
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