Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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personal lolcow posted a few pictures of her fat naked baby, told the world that her ex who broke her cheekbone is jealous because someone 'with a bigger cock' than him impregnated her, told everyone how she wants to go off the rails with a ket addiction, and is gushing over how attractive men who take on other people's children are.
what a catch she is
 
My personal lolcow posted this saucy before-and-after from her childhood bedroom in her parent's house at 1 am local time to "promote organ donation".
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She's #single, lads
 
personal lolcow can't stop and will not stop tearing ex best friend down on social media, she has been at it for DAYS.

that's what happens when you tell your best friend who had a late miscarriage she can be a second mother, surrogate father and godmother to your baby, she ends up holding the baby while you party, everyone finds out and your rep is ruined and you obviously haven't changed a bit since becoming a mother.
 
personal lolcow is boasting about her baby being a model.
i wonder what you'll be spending the money on, personal lolcow. because it sure as hell won't be put in a trust fund.

she also made sure to tell the world that she has to delete her baby's father's number and the baby's grandmother's number from her phone before she goes out drinking.
 
throughout my high school years (11-16) there was a kid in my class called Peter who lived on the next street to mine and was a stereotypical nerd; pasty, snide, a tell-tale, severely short-sighted, and before he started puberty he sounded like a higher-pitched version of Tony Blair

his father was a teacher at the school, and bar the physical resemblance, you'd never have known they were father and son; the father was easy-going, reasonable, and treated his pupils like people instead of patronising them, screaming at them like a banshee or trying to be their best friend

his mother on the other hand was much more like him in terms of personality - looking back many years later, it was clear that she'd dominated and smothered both him and his sister, and effectively turned them into her mini-mes, almost identical to each other bar the hair and the sex chromosomes

over the years, his given name mutated from Peter to Poiter to Boider to Bangding to... well, complete gibberish
this was during the same time that we found a new way to take the piss out of each other by repeating what the other person had just said in retárd-speak - so "alright" became "dodight", "what's the time?" became "dot'sh da dime?", "you're a knob" became "door da dob", and so on

later on, Peter tried to fit in more by getting into football; his signature 'moves' were yelling 'man on!', and raising his hands in the air when receiving the ball, which became known to others as the Crane Kick

however, sometimes he tried too hard and on one infamous occasion seriously misjudged both the situation and his audience

during a conversation involving dreams, your man Peter piped up with something along the lines of "I dreamt I was at a gay parade, and I had a machine gun, and I gunned all of them down"

during the what-the-fuck moment and uncomfortable silence that followed, another lad rescued the situation by joking "what's that Peter, you banged them all with your big gun?!" which got a good laugh and a frustrated "no, no, no!" from Peter

that said, he could be game for a laugh; in my last year of school somebody invented a game called Friday Night, where you crossed your legs while standing up, put on Peter's glasses and on the shout of "Police!" ran round an obstacle course of chairs, half-blind and with your legs still crossed; naturally, the players' enthusiasm and blunted sense of their surroundings led to multiple pratfalls

(I went to school with some fucking idiots, but on good days they could be funny idiots)

now unlike the tale of my other lolcow Adam, this story has an unexpectedly happy ending: out of curiosity I looked Peter up on social media and found to my immense surprise that once he'd started university and permanently moved away from home, he'd changed completely and actually became a pretty cool guy - I had to double-check I'd got the right person, but sure enough, there was my old school in his "Education" section

the same was true of his sister, who had become a much more rounded and functional person in the years after leaving home, and had clearly gained a great deal of self-esteem

on that basis, I can only assume the influence of their mam was severely reduced once they'd left home, and/or their mam and dad are now divorced
 
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My personal lolcow has taken Instagram to show the HATERS what's what!

She claims her sister is her best friend in the world who definitely wrote all this shit on Facebook 2 years ago unprompted, without her insane sister berating her and yelling at her each time it wasn't up to her standards.
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However, I have the backstory: once in 2011, I received a long message from Cinder-Sister, who is a very nice and sweet person who doesn't deserve to have an evil sister and mother who treat her like trash. I asked sister tentatively if she was aware of the very unbalanced things L does, and if she was doing okay in the wake of them. I got back pages of how her sister terrifies her; how she self harms when she's treated so badly; and how much she hated all the things she was made to do on her sister's behalf. She also said she would have to delete this message ASAP, because her evil sister demands access to all her social media accounts and reada her messages to check for signs of sedition.

It was the saddest thing I'd ever heard, and my heart went out to her. I think we sometimes forget how put upon a lolcow's family is. Thankfully, there's a semi happy ending: little loved younger sister got married and moved far, far away, and no longer must act as Cinder-Sister.

Edit: but dont forget the #underwear #selfies to #raiseawareness of #organdonation ! This woman speaks entirely in hashtags and still can't drum up engagement; she thinks they're the key to becoming an instathot. Won't you #sponsor her? She's so #sick!
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The face of a 34 year old natal woman who needs to show the haters, y'all.
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Uh oh. Terrible news! Can you believe the nerve of those doctors, telling my PLC that she ought to stop drinking because her new liver, gratis courtesy of the NHS, cant take it? Please send attention ASAP as she has #depression and will kill herself as soon as her parents are dead! And then where will we get our bathtub selfies?? 1 like = 1 prayer
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Please note she ran a wine blog and drank for years pre transplant, and has never taken the advice to stop fucking drinking very seriously.
 
I didn't realise Katherine Kelly died and got brought back to life as a undead zombie
 
I'm in a Discord server with this guy who goes by InfinitePokemon on Twitch. He likes Sonic and Pokemon and everything he posts is about either Sonic or Pokemon.

Except for today.

tl;dr He just went on a Gamers Rise Up rant

Video's 9 minutes long. The highlights include:
-He sounds downy as hell.
-He names multiple Pokemon streamers and claims they discriminated against him based on his age but doesn't state how. He sounds way too old to be like 11 but the downs could play into that as well.
-You can hear him actively balancing the audio as he makes his speech.
-He never really says what he's rising up against.
-He talks about Twitch moderators as if they're an elite group of Twitch employees and not just the streamer's friends or paypigs.
-He has to manually replay the song when it ends.
 
ok buddies, buckle your fuckles, these 2 i used to be friends with.
PROFILE 1
preferred name: vertigo (before he developed DID, now he's just fucked)
gender: transgender male
status: active, however im blocked from him on twitter, discord, and deviantart (i bypass this by using alt accounts)
age: 16 (but it depends on whos fwonting owo!!1)
sexuality: unknown
description:
vertigo is a TRAAANS male who is extremely upset when called trans. during the end of our friendship, he developed DID and also called me out for being transphobic when im not. he likes to draw gay demon boys, and despite hating traps, designed a trap demon and gave it to me. i used to avoid him because i used to pussy out whenever i talk with someone with DID, mainly because a bitch with that exact disorder manipulated the people around them (including me). wont go into detail about that bitch now cus i dont want to give TMI.
PROFILE 2
preferred name: tailmate
gender: cis female
status: likely active, i see her online on discord sometimes
age: 13
sexuality: said to be asexual, likely isnt
description:
tailmate is a cis female who looks strangely similar to birdie. she likes PONEEZ, cuphead, self-insert demonic cuphead ocs (no, im not kidding when i say that), doing autistic shippings, and defending vertigo. she says shes asexual, but has made multiple smut fanfictions that she likely jacks off to when nobodys looking. the only redeeming factor to her is that she got me into chris chan culture, and is one of the reasons why im on the farms. dont worry, she pretty much only finds chris chan interesting, so youre likely not going to see this bitch on the farms or anything similar.
 
Screenshot of some of my personal lolcow's Wattpad work, the first two chapters. This cow threatened to shoot up our graduation last May. I am a bit hesitant to link to his Wattpad, because his banner is literally our senior class photo, and I'm in it. No way for y'all to know which one I am but still.

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Other lolcows include the true crime community on tumblr (especially the Columbine ones) and Scientology. No joke I once watched a blog named "klebold-trash" try to take the moral high ground over someone because the someone was pro-life.
 
A colleague of mine keeps using the word "problematic" on an often basis that now I am annoyed whenever I see it or hear it. Thanks a lot.

Not as bad as when I was in middle school, though. Once classes were done for the day, my middle school had an after school computer lab that I would wait in until one of my parents came to pick me up after school. There was one kid in the computer lab who would play "Yeah" by Usher ft. Lil' John EVERY TIME he was on a computer. EVERY TIME. I understand if he liked the song a lot, but didn't he have anything else to listen to? Because of that kid, I hate that song and I cringe whenever I hear it.
 
A person I knew in highschool recently contacted me on facebook, I had a look at them and had a good laugh. In highschool she was a bitch who refused to do anything because she was sure that she would instantly become an actress once she left school because of how attractive she was. She's now in her early twenties and hasn't changed one bit. Only now, she seems to think that she's somehow already a celebrity because she wears expensive clothes and gets guys to buy her drinks at bars. She often goes on spiels about how the paparazzi are always chasing her and how she'll never be out of the spotlight.

In reality, she's delusional drug addict who goes through boyfriends faster than she goes through underwear and although she does have a pretty face, she'll very quickly ruin that through substance abuse. In short, she's a wonderful train wreck.
 
Pamela Malone-- or, as only she referred to herself: PA13M. I was friends with this psycho-dyke years ago.

Pa13m Malone.jpg


She's about as sane as her picture looks. I cut her ass out of my life after one too many times of seeing her lose her shit, then blame it on her girlfriend. She'd do weird shit like listen to Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" on repeat, while dancing like a cat - clawing at the air - during the "my ex man" phase.

She describes herself as "sarcastic" and "bubbly", when she's honestly the scariest person I've had the displeasure of knowing. She tells people she's a student at Stanford when she's actually a dumb unemployed native who sits around all day, playing Call of Duty.
 
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This YouTuber is fast becoming a favourite of mine. Here is one example “political leanings literally kills people”

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Cow

Post with 14 views. Cow
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As you can see from the screen caps he also has DSP levels of hatred for his fan base and that is just one example. Our boy Karl also loves “messing” with the green screen so much his tattoo also contains the colour green deliberately.
If a fan was to suggest green clothing though he loses his shit with them! Basically Karl is that one guy everyone has known once in their life when it’s only funny if he does it.

His time line just goes one like this and yes his account is protected.
 
I've lost track of this personal lolcow of mine after she deleted her twitter, but she used to be an absolute gold mine of content.

The thread I'm about to link happened after the Charlottesville protests in 2017, where she "ironically" made the high res image of the Dodge Charger ramming the protesters her header on Facebook. To tl;dr her backstory: She used to be very into the anime convention scene in Toronto, which is how we met, and gradually through a combination of coke and seeking validation from men, she began labeling herself a white nationalist.

Her entire Facebook wall was shit like this 24/7.
 
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