Orbiter Phil’s Weird Body... - Like, WTF? I’ve never seen anything like it.

I know he was probably faking the ear ache.
If he did get an ear infection it's because his sinuses are fucked. Really needs to see an ENT the snorting is getting worse.
His uncanny ability to control the snorts, phlegm clearing, and other gross shit during streams/videos where it's "important" (when khet was on stream, sponsored streams, etc) indicates that he does these gross things as a sort of verbal tic to give him time to formulate words in his peanut brain. If he legitimately had some sort of issue, these functions would happen regardless of who was on stream or if he was being darksydeshill.

Supposing that he HAS had multiple ear infections in BOTH ears in such a short time... He's either the most unlucky, genetically shafted individual in the world, absolutely and totally filthy, or he is a complete fucking liar. My cheerssubsandtips are on the 3rd option there.
 
Probable causes for phil's ear pain;

- A true and hahnest infection; the guy showers twice a week, lives in a dusty pigpen and has a post medieval black plague level of hygiene.
- Mold; some mentally ill SHITHEADS pointed out in the main thread that his condo suffered from water damage and the picture the pig posted on instagram shows mold and dirt stains on the lower section of his ''office'' wall.
- Gout can affect your middle ear section and be misdiagnosed for a simple ear infection.
- His snorting is probably caused by an underlying health issue and it's spreading. He suffers from post nasal drip (allegedly) and does absolutly everything to make it worse ( No hepa air filters, living in filth, shit diet, alcool, sedentary )
 
Probable causes for phil's ear pain;

- A true and hahnest infection; the guy showers twice a week, lives in a dusty pigpen and has a post medieval black plague level of hygiene.
- Mold; some mentally ill SHITHEADS pointed out in the main thread that his condo suffered from water damage and the picture the pig posted on instagram shows mold and dirt stains on the lower section of his ''office'' wall.
- Gout can affect your middle ear section and be misdiagnosed for a simple ear infection.
- His snorting is probably caused by an underlying health issue and it's spreading. He suffers from post nasal drip (allegedly) and does absolutly everything to make it worse ( No hepa air filters, living in filth, shit diet, alcool, sedentary )

pretty sure the cause of the second infection was the wwe champions event where he had to be in the top 25 when thd event ended on Monday in order to get a wrestler.
 
Phil strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn't like to throw anything away which explains why he's still wearing the same t-shirts as before. But they also serve another purpose namely they're all video game related. It shows he's a gamer and is part of his gamer cred.

I've got a boatload of old t-shirts that are more than 10 years old but they tend to be regulated to workout shirts or things to wear around the home when I don't care what I look like. Like right now. If I had to go out to the store or something, I'd swap it out with something a little less ratty.
Those are some nice fucking tits.
pixomatic_8112020162720435.png

Yeah, I'm retarded
 
Someone did this, then removed the "DSPgaming" afterwards but kept the picture. Legit question Kiwis, does he actually have it?
This recluse has had so little interaction with actual humans that he probably doesn't even know what a normal human is supposed to look like, let alone thinking there is anything wrong with him. Fat chance he'd go to a doctor when there is no immediate threat like the gout flare-ups in various places in his body. Any normal person would spot a stroke lip or this weird ear crease and get's it checked out.
 
After experiencing some post-nasal drippage myself the last couple of days, it really puts into perspective how much Phil hams this shit up.

Sometimes a good rip through the nose is necessary to clear a lot of gunk out in one go. Disgusting but absolutely satisfying at the same time.

The thing with a powerful snort is, when gunk comes loose, you can hear it. A loud higher pitch crackling sound, followed by the echoes of gunk being pulled back into the back of the mouth by the reverberations within the nasal cavity. Often followed by a phlegmy throat clear to finish it all off.

When Phil snorts, I hear nothing like that. No pleghm, no nothing. It's just a dry sound of air being funneled through a small cavity, pressurized by an intense amount of force exerted by the musculature in the back of his head.

Seriously, try for yourself by replicating a signature Burnell Blast. The amount of force required to recreate it leaves your sinuses feeling feeble and trembling.

The inspiration for this post came from one of his loot crate openings I decided to watch yesterday. When he still made content in anything other than the fap shack. The kitchen provides a nice echo as he let's rip a big one.

3:30 if the timestamp doesn't work. And of course, cutting towards yourself.
 
I always took the snorting as low-key disdain for his audience, that he thinks them so beneath him he can lean into his mic and snort snot (or pretend to) into their ears and they just take it. He might have sinus problems, a lot of people do, but he clearly plays up the snorting and I can't think of any other reason someone who talks for a living would intentionally make those sounds.
 
I always took the snorting as low-key disdain for his audience, that he thinks them so beneath him he can lean into his mic and snort snot (or pretend to) into their ears and they just take it. He might have sinus problems, a lot of people do, but he clearly plays up the snorting and I can't think of any other reason someone who talks for a living would intentionally make those sounds.
Agreed, I mean if you're pigroach and you gotta snort, then you gotta snort, but it seems like Dave deliberately leans into the mic to let out the most loudest snorts he can to "bless" his viewers' ears. Pretty much every streamer or KHANTENT creator on the internet at least has the common courtesy to tilt their head away from the mic if they gotta sneeze or cough or something like that, but not Phil!
 
Someone did this, then removed the "DSPgaming" afterwards but kept the picture. Legit question Kiwis, does he actually have it?
100% yes in my opinion, while ears kinda fold in somewhat as people naturally get older (which is why using Frank’s sign alone as a cardio problem indicator is somewhat controversial among physicians), it doesn’t get obvious in healthy people until they’re past their 60’s usually. Meanwhile Phil’s ears have already begun folding into themselves before he even came close to his 40s. Even ignoring the ears, Phil still looks 20 yrs older than he really is and has lived horribly over the years; a poor collagen to elastin ratio in his ears is going to be the least of a doctor’s worries if Phil ever waddles into the office of one.
 
Saw that new DSP Historian channel and decided to click on a video with DSP shoveling a cheese-steak into his face in the thumbnail. Truly disturbing side angles in this one.

View attachment 1603340
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_bmJhiES5Y)

Look at that damn earlobe.
Flat skull, cuz mom left him as a baby.
Crack in the earlope, signs of a severe health problem he isn't aware of.
Flappy cheeks due to lots n lots of alcohol.
Random spots of hairloss, maybe genetics or another health issue.
Looking way older than he really is.
A nasty wart (not visible) which is the main reason for why he has a garbage webcam.
A posture as if he not only lost the proverbial backbone, replaced it with a broom.
Saggy tits, outclassing his wife.
Flappy arm fat, jiggling with every move.
Hey DSP you wear a shirt? No, it's body hair!
Unproportional calf muscles cuz he prefered to walk on his toes.
Not a single other muscle to speak of, except his boner for money.
His beard goes white and patchy, probably starting in his 30s or even earlier.
Hair as greasy as if he combs it with raw bacon.

Yes Phil, poster boy of getting way healthier. Keep on telling yourself.

I'm so glad we don't have a thread for every physical feature. I'm not the guy who judges people on their looks, but how to ignore THAT?
 
Last edited:
Back