Orbiter Phil’s Weird Body... - Like, WTF? I’ve never seen anything like it.

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I call it the "I'm an insecure, blind, out-of-shape gamer" pose.

He looks like he's being constricted into that chair. Hunched over, arms in, and can barely see the screen.
Had I never stumbled across KF and Dave, or I was zapped with the Men in Black neur1lyzer... And you showed me this picture and told me someone took a picture of a corpse, I'd more than likely believe it. I've seen pictures of people found dead in their homes that look more alive than he does there.

Jesus.
 
Okay first off look at those hairy disgusting dale level of legs
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Second of all why does he look hunched over like he’s 80 his posture is fucked up I thought the sad deflated pillow he used to stick between the support beams of his loveseat was supposed to help slightly
Remember how he said his doctor told him his weight is ok? This mother fucker is so out of shape and lacking in muscle that he somehow started storing fat on his back, I had not seen that happen in people unless they are about 300lbs. He has zero muscle in his entire body yet he is also obese,which puts him in a position where weight wise he is not that far off from a normal person but still looks like shit.
 
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I stole this from the main thread and just added the circle, what's up with his biceps? His body is so weird, he has a flab of loose skin on his biceps like if he had lost 200lbs.
 
Tbh I've always found Phil's body impressive, he has the body of a coma patient while presumably still moving around? When I see him all I think of is that carton of milk story he told where he said it was heavy and I just find it amazing.
How the fuck does one get into that state?
Rhab likely has more muscle in his body than Phil..... :stress:
 
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I stole this from the main thread and just added the circle, what's up with his biceps? His body is so weird, he has a flab of loose skin on his biceps like if he had lost 200lbs.
I think whoever posted that pic in the General Thread was referencing these posts, so here you go.
This is my most :autism: post yet, but I'm going to do a bit of a dive into the musculature of Dark PP, and thus we will get a look at his claims of how strong he was back in his 'prime' (remember he almost burst a blood vessel from lifting so much weight). Not to powerlevel, but I have degrees in food science and human nutrition with some experience as a health and diet coach, and I believe this gives me at least a decent basis for evaluating Phil's frame and anatomy.

There are some in the genetics field that believe that epigenetics, gene phenotypes that can change without changing genetic code, can be manipulated by childhood/teenage activities and sports. Someone who plays American football their whole life will have a different body type than someone who has swam competitively since childhood. Part of this is the development of different muscles to different degrees and the individual's hard-coded genetics, but some of it is natural adaptation to his or her chosen sport. That's how people who used to be jacked can for the most part only do light exercise and still maintain a certain shape or body-type, and this is also how we know that DSP is completely full of shit, as usual. He was never buff, and I doubt he exercised so hard that he burst a blood vessel, though it's also very possible that he tried to bench press 90 lbs and forgot to breathe.

I took a picture from Phil in 2012 and analyzed some key points that can be used to compare his muscles to that of a person who used to exercise regularly.
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This is not the body of a person who was ever athletic, this is the body of a person who has never had a developed muscular frame. Also notice his chicken legs.
Anyway, here's the recent photo everyone brings up from his Halloween DSP tries it, where he looks fucking awful.
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He definitely looks much worse than before, and in only 6 years. He doesn't even have the semi healthy-looking fat deposits he used to have, now it's all manboobs and stomach, where it used to be manboobs and stomach and a little bit more in his neck and back. Anyway, all I'm trying to say is that a.) he's never been muscular or strong, which is clear from the poor frame he's had since he was young. Even his youngest pictures (him at fighting game tourneys), he's skinny as shit. All he did as he got older was get fatter, and now he's just getting sickly-looking.

I am also working on a post about the cheer question that Phil responded to the other day, where he claimed that no one in the nutrition world agrees on anything and nobody knows what a healthy diet looks like. He then regurgitates various dieting methodologies and fad diets he picked up on over the years. It was yet another example of Phil getting on his soapbox inside his little echo chamber where he can be the expert for a while and talk at a bunch of receptive mongoloids (and don't forget that dissent can be quickly silenced).

I purposefully stayed away from those videos but fuck it, we're already slopping around in the muck so might as well, right?
2018 -
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Watching the rest of the 2018 shower vid, there's nothing new, it just reaffirms what a weird fleshy blob he is.
2013 - This video showed even less of his body, but it does confirm that he's always been skinnyfat.
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yeah I've noticed that he has a weird fat deposit on his elbow that really juts out. You only see that in people who have almost NO muscle mass on their arms, it means that there's just nothing there where there should be the bottom of the triceps tapering down to meet at the elbow joint. Could be just that he's lost weight over time (mostly just his youthful muscle mass) and it's flabby skin, but still looks pretty fucking weird.
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Nice post man, you found a lot of stuff I didn't get. Yeah, the oldest pictures I've seen of him, he just looks skinny. He is exactly what you get when you start out average and then don't exercise, eat junk food all the time, and live a sedentary lifestyle for 12 or so years.


yikes, these limbs are, just like his arms, completely devoid of muscle mass. It makes sense because he doesn't use them. At all. I've also noticed that his glutes are atrophied too because he sits all day long every day; he wears baggy sweatpants to hide it usually, but you can see the way his sweats kind of 'drape' straight down from his big ol' waist. He is essentially a shorter version of Doctor Eggman.
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So in summation, Phil has always been a skinnyfat liar, and he is proof that you become a formless blob when you don't take care of yourself physically in any way. He's honestly something that could be featured in a scientific paper, since he's essentially done the bare minimum in exercise for well over 10 years. Having people do that in the name of an experiment would be fucking unethical but Phil's so lazy, he's done it to himself. I should go talk to my old professors and see if I can get funding.

short edit to point out that it's poetry that Phil's physical body reflects his lifestyle perfectly: he's got the absolute bare minimum he needs to get by, and he makes zero effort to make even tiny adjustments that would serve him SO WELL in the future. Like @Son of Big Boss said, this dude is going to have some serious problems when he's older. He already walks like he's recovering from polio.
 
Tbh I've always found Phil's body impressive, he has the body of a coma patient while presumably still moving around? When I see him all I think of is that carton of milk story he told where he said it was heavy and I just find it amazing.
How the fuck does one get into that state?

Six days a week the only activity he does is is wake up -> go to the kitchen/dining room for breakfast -> go to the spare bedroom he uses for streaming -> go to whatever room has the computer he uses to upload vids -> go to the kitchen/dining room for dinner -> go to the living room where he watches Netflix and plays gacha until 3am. There are a few breaks in here to use the restroom and maybe a visit to the kitchen for a midnight snack or gin run but that's it. He might not even get 15 minutes of walking (a very low intensity activity) daily outside of his day off/shopping day, so your "coma patient" remark wasn't that inaccurate.

Phil also believes that bringing groceries in from the car is exercise, so enjoy a gif documenting this herculean task:

https://i.imgur.com/WyJ3C7b.gif

EDIT: Imgur doesn't like direct links to Kiwi, you'll have to manually copy the URL into the search bar.
 
Six days a week the only activity he does is is wake up -> go to the kitchen/dining room for breakfast -> go to the spare bedroom he uses for streaming -> go to whatever room has the computer he uses to upload vids -> go to the kitchen/dining room for dinner -> go to the living room where he watches Netflix and plays gacha until 3am. There are a few breaks in here to use the restroom and maybe a visit to the kitchen for a midnight snack or gin run but that's it. He might not even get 15 minutes of walking (a very low intensity activity) daily outside of his day off/shopping day, so your "coma patient" remark wasn't that inaccurate.

Phil also believes that bringing groceries in from the car is exercise, so enjoy a gif documenting this herculean task:

https://i.imgur.com/WyJ3C7b.gif

EDIT: Imgur doesn't like direct links to Kiwi, you'll have to manually copy the URL into the search bar.
I wonder if he could walk half a mile without getting winded? The grocery stuff is so embarrassing making your girl do the "heavy" lifting. I do believe he also bought a wheelie cart thing that old people tug around for groceries. He said a gallon of milk was heavy one time. What is that 8lbs?

Edit: re-listened to the clip on pigpiggo and he does say he can pick up a gallon of milk, he's not that weak. Still having trouble believing him.
 
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I wonder if he could walk half a mile without getting winded? The grocery stuff is so embarrassing making your girl do the "heavy" lifting. I do believe he also bought a wheelie cart thing that old people tug around for groceries. He said a gallon of milk was heavy one time. What is that 8lbs?

IIRC he never said a gallon of milk was heavy. It was something like "Someone asks can i carry a gallon of milk, uh yeah. I'm not THAT weak"

So it was still stupid that he basically said "I'm not weak, i can carry a gallon of milk" but not THAT stupid.
 
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Wait just a minute folks, Phil used to lift weights!

Here's him talking about it...

Hold up! "Creatine didn't become mainstream until later on in the 2000's". Phil was born in 1982. He would be 18 in 2000. This means Phil's "body building" days were when he was 17 or younger. He most likely only lifted weights in gym class.

What a fucking poser.
 
Wait just a minute folks, Phil used to lift weights!

Here's him talking about it...

Hold up! "Creatine didn't become mainstream until later on in the 2000's". Phil was born in 1982. He would be 18 in 2000. This means Phil's "body building" days were when he was 17 or younger. He most likely only lifted weights in gym class.

What a fucking poser.
This is basically what a few people here (and I think this to be the case as well) have gathered with him doing any sort of weight lifting. He was likely still in high school or just finished school when he would have attempted to "work out", but due to his lack of effort and over exaggeration of his weight lifting routine, he may have only done some sessions for a couple of weeks (maybe 2-3 months if you want to be a bit more optimistic about teenage Philip) at most, and likely only lifted weights at a very beginner focused level, just some fixed or adjustable dumbells hardly over the 6kg mark, and maybe lifted some kettlebells and medicine balls on the side.

That's it, no way in hell did anyone (including himself) actually think this dude seriously worked out to a point where people stopped and stared at him and said "Wow, dude Phil's ripped!".

Now if I had the ability to time travel, I would have wanted to see him bench press and dead lift at lesst once, and see him endlessly struggle because he would have possessed minimal upper body strength.
 
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This is basically what a few people here (and I think this to be the case as well) have gathered with him doing any sort of weight lifting. He was likely still in high school or just finished school when he would have attempted to "work out", but due to his lack of effort and over exaggeration of his weight lifting routine, he may have only done some sessions for a couple of weeks (maybe 2-3 months if you want to be a bit more optimistic about teenage Philip) at most, and likely only lifted weights at a very beginner focused level, just some fixed or adjustable dumbells hardly over the 6kg mark, and maybe lifted some kettlebells and medicine balls on the side.

That's it, no way in hell did anyone (including himself) actually think this dude seriously worked out to a point where people stopped and stared at him and said "Wow, dude Phil's ripped!".

Now if I had the ability to time travel, I would have wanted to see him bench press and dead lift at lesst once, and see him endlessly struggle because he would have possessed minimal upper body strength.
The school he went to (and the district it fell in) had a requirement for certain credits for graduation. PE is one of those requirements. Since he can't do sports (some districts allow lettering athletes to get PE credit for participating in a sport) and general PE would be far too embarrassing (God, imagining him being the first one out in boys vs girls dodge all is amazing, cahmahn), he more than likely took a weight lifting class. The teacher didn't give a shit as long as you put the weights away, didn't curl in the squat rack, and was more preoccupied with how the basketball team performed.

Phil's bodybuilding lore is steeped in a tremendous amount of bullshit and hyperbole (as usual with him) and he did the bare minimum to get by and get a solid grade.

For fucks sake, my tiny-ass school that had a weights class, everyone got an A. Half of us just played basketball in the gym during class anyway. Still got an A. Lazy fuck did lazy fuck things and claims he was big into weight lifting.
 
Phil has one of those bodies that you would have some foreign country in East Asia would make a racist characture of an American. Lanky proportions that make no sense, GUNT, man tits, weak jaw, and bald spot. He is a really strange looking person when I see him fully standing up or walking around, it's kind of like a big foot spotting when seeing Phil doing any type of physical activity.

He really needs to start taking his health seriously, because he is approaching that time in life where shit starts to derail if you aren't taking care of yourself. Despite him being notriously bad at video games and super full of himself, he really needs to go for a fucking walk sometimes. Though his narcissistic personality gets in the way of him actually having enough self awareness to make these type of adjustments. So he will assert it all to people trolling, despite there is geninie concern.

Hopefully he can start taking care of himself a bit better, it would require him to get the fuck off the game like a man his age should be doing. Though it won't happen, plus if something does happen health wise. You fuckers watch him make it out to be the overpriced hospital or doctors fault for not fixing problems he put on himself. Doing more vest streams fundraising to pay meh hospital bills.
 
>Implying Phil has enough testosterone to sustain a erection nowdays
Didn't Leanna complain about that at some point or low key implied that she wasn't getting the D from DarkDave like she wanted to?

And if his masturbating on stream is any indication he's working hard to keep his erection.
 
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