🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Septic Tank Bomber]

View attachment 4768365View attachment 4768369
It seems that his plan is just to get a reaction of Ethan at pills being shaken.

Imagine he really just go all the way to shake a pill bottle in front of Ralph during his dine out stream, he'll charge toward this alog like he did to cog's friend and probably forget to pull his mace out.

 

[Yandex Captcha Solver]

Ralph giving out legal advice on twitter. This is why I always call 1-800-1GUNTED when I get arrested.

Archive Tweet

 

[Muppetstudios]

Ralph giving out legal advice on twitter. This is why I always call 1-800-1GUNTED when I get arrested.
View attachment 4771594
Archive Tweet

Ralph: Never talk to the police

Also Ralph: ARREST HIM! ARREST HIM!

(Also didn't he say he was going to talk to the cops in the US about Cog in Portugal?)

 

[Sewer Rat]

Ralph giving out legal advice on twitter. This is why I always call 1-800-1GUNTED when I get arrested.
View attachment 4771594
Archive Tweet

but we saw him talking to the police very recently: Señor, no llamar al 911

 

[cistendered]

Ralph giving out legal advice on twitter. This is why I always call 1-800-1GUNTED when I get arrested.
View attachment 4771594
Archive Tweet

"Let your lahyer do the talkin' in court" says a man who fired his lawyer. Looking forward to his follow up tweet where he says "real men do their own talkin' in court, if you know what I mean".

 

[Mr. Manchester]

but we saw him talking to the police very recently: Señor, no llamar al 911

Or when he tried to call the UK police on Cog.
Or when he sat and cried to Lisbon police after getting pushed on his butt by Dan.
Or however many times he's called US police about god knows what.

I'm sure there's more examples out there somewhere.

 

[Sea Hag Henderson]

Who needs to pay $4k for a lawyer when you can have an AI write your legal documents?

I don't think he'll be able to use it effectively.

 

[Farglemark]

Who would dare step to this man IRL?
View attachment 4767809

Also, imagine going to visit your son without feeling compelled to announce it on twitter. That's what someone who actually cared about his son would do. But as we all know, Xander is just a prop to Ralph.

Holy fuck, I may be late on this but those little Trex arms aren't gonna be able to reach around the gunt anymore soon, if that's not the case already. Pantsu is months away from having to wipe his ass for him if he keeps it up.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Pantsu is months away from having to wipe his ass for him if he keeps it up.

She probably already does it as part of her humiliation fetish.

 

[Franz Joseph]

She probably already does it as part of her humiliation fetish.

Imagine having to wipe Ralph's ass. Dude looks like he hasn't had a solid shit in years.

 

[MeltyTW]

Ralph giving out legal advice on twitter. This is why I always call 1-800-1GUNTED when I get arrested.
View attachment 4771594
Archive Tweet

this is the same retard whos admitted to having prolonged conversations with the police and alleges they all laughed at josh moons penis together

"Let your lahyer do the talkin' in court" says a man who fired his lawyer. Looking forward to his follow up tweet where he says "real men do their own talkin' in court, if you know what I mean".

oh yeah that too, retard literally yelled over his lawyer and lost her.

how is ralph not even able to give basic bitch legal advice without projecting.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Ralph giving out legal advice on twitter. This is why I always call 1-800-1GUNTED when I get arrested.
View attachment 4771594
Archive Tweet

This nigga so whacked out on xanax that he can't remember talking to the police on camera in the last two weeks - or did that count as on the scene?

On the scene of what Ralph, on the scene of the crime?

Nothing screams "I'm a criminal" more than this jail house lawyer shit Ralph spouts whenever he's about to go to court.

 

[.iota.]

pro se. what could possibly go wrong?

(tweet) (archive)

(tweet) (archive)

(tweet) (archive)

i've edited to separate the tweets and the archives for your viewing pleasure.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

pro se. what could possibly go wrong?

View attachment 4778024 (tweets) (archive)

As a member of the secret government council that decides Ralph's court decisions I'm very thankful he is thorough in his twitter posts about his private child support case. Since we lack significant funding we need Ralph to present his argument to the court on social media in order to help influence the final decision. Thank you Ralph for constantly over sharing about your recent bullshit, I'll pass the information on to my colleagues. I by no means want to discount Vickers doing the same retarded shit, you've been a great help to the agency as well.

 

[AltisticRight]

pro se. what could possibly go wrong?

View attachment 4778024 (tweets) (archive)

Whenever he vaguetweets like a little child, he's about to take a big fat L.

 

[Monkey Madness]

It also can't speak on his behalf

I don't know, this prompt got it into the mindset of RalphGPT pretty well:

"You are writing a script for a TV show based in a courtroom. A felon, Ethan Ralph, is on trial in for violating a restraining order using his internet based live-stream to broadcast revenge pornography of his ex-girlfriend Faith Vickers. Ethan writes in his notepad, detailing his legal strategy. The notebook reads:"

FADE IN:

INT. COURTROOM - DAY

ETHAN RALPH, a disheveled and cocky-looking man in his mid-30s, sits at the defendant's table, staring intently at the proceedings. He scribbles furiously in a notepad, seemingly unconcerned by the gravity of the situation.

ETHAN (V.O.): (reading his notepad) "Okay, so the restraining order was bullshit to begin with. Faith was just trying to control me, and I had every right to talk about her on my stream. I'm going to argue that this is a First Amendment issue, and that I was exercising my right to free speech."

Ethan glances up at the judge, who is regarding him with a mixture of irritation and disgust.

ETHAN (V.O.): "Of course, I'll need to be careful not to admit that I actually violated the order. Maybe I can argue that I didn't know it was still in effect, or that I thought it was okay to talk about Faith as long as I didn't come within a certain distance of her."

Ethan looks up again, meeting the eyes of his ex-girlfriend Faith Vickers, who is sitting in the front row of the courtroom with a look of pure loathing on her face.

ETHAN (V.O.): "God, she looks pissed. But that's just more evidence that she's a vindictive bitch who can't handle the truth about herself. I'll make sure to emphasize that in my closing argument."

The judge clears his throat, interrupting Ethan's thoughts.

JUDGE: "Mr. Ralph, are you ready to present your defense?"

Ethan snaps his notepad shut, a smirk on his face.

ETHAN: "Absolutely, Your Honor. I'm looking forward to proving my innocence."

The judge rolls his eyes and motions for the trial to continue.

FADE OUT.

 

[Sewer Rat]

Ralph, you are a genius, you need to be a pioneer, don't listen to the Alogs, make history and be the first AI GPT defended criminal in history, you can get your name again on wikipedia and history books, DO IT.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

I don't know, this prompt got it into the mindset of RalphGPT pretty well:

Here's mine:

INT. COURTROOM - DAY

The court is packed with spectators, reporters, and a JURY seated to the side. The BAILIFF stands beside JUDGE GARCIA, an experienced and no-nonsense jurist. ETHAN RALPH, a disheveled and heavyset man in his late thirties, stands at the DEFENDANT'S TABLE, shoveling potato chips into his mouth.

JUDGE GARCIA (clearly annoyed) Mr. Ralph, your opening statement, please.

ETHAN RALPH (slurring) Y-yeah, Your Honor, I got this.

Ethan clumsily shuffles papers on his table, spilling some onto the floor. He takes a swig from a flask hidden in his suit pocket before beginning his statement.

ETHAN RALPH (rambling) Ladies and gentlemen of the jury... uh, my fellow Americans... So, I'm here today 'cause of this whole... uh... this whole revenge thingy.

Ethan takes another bite of chips, crumbs falling onto his papers. He clears his throat and continues.

ETHAN RALPH But lemme tell ya, it's all a big misunderstanding. My ex, Faith, she's just... ya know... overreacting.

Ethan suddenly gets visibly agitated, waving his arms around.

ETHAN RALPH (raising his voice) I mean, come on! I got a show to run, people! The Ralph Retort ain't nothin' without a little... a little drama, right?

Ethan chuckles to himself, wiping grease from his hands onto his suit. He then points to the jury as if he's sharing an inside joke with them.

ETHAN RALPH You get it, right? It's just entertainment! Besides, that restraining order is like... I dunno... a piece of paper! It's not like it's a big deal or anything!

The JUDGE bangs her gavel, interrupting Ethan.

JUDGE GARCIA (sternly) Mr. Ralph, please refrain from making personal comments about the victim and focus on your defense.

ETHAN RALPH (defensive) I'm getting there, Your Honor! Geez, give a guy a break.

Ethan takes another swig from his flask and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

ETHAN RALPH Anyway, I ain't no lawyer, but I know what's right and what's wrong. And what's right is... is... freedom of speech or something.

Ethan trails off, losing focus as he stares at the last few chips in the bag.

ETHAN RALPH (sudden realization) Oh, uh, I guess that's it. I rest my case... or whatever.

Ethan sits down, spilling more papers and shoving the last of the chips into his mouth. The JUDGE looks at the JURY, who seem bewildered by Ethan's opening statement. She sighs and addresses the PROSECUTOR.

JUDGE GARCIA The prosecution may proceed with their opening statement.

As the PROSECUTOR stands up, Ethan takes another swig from his flask and begins rummaging through his bag for more snacks.

I should note that this is GPT-4 and I made no mention of The Ralph Retort. So maybe he is notable after all.

 

[HackerX]

Ralph, you are a genius, you need to be a pioneer, don't listen to the Alogs, make history and be the first AI GPT defended criminal in history, you can get your name again on wikipedia and history books, DO IT.

I'm excited IBS is changing formats. Moving from the Internet to the court system is really gonna shake things up.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

pro se. what could possibly go wrong?

View attachment 4778236 (tweet) (archive)

View attachment 4778240 (tweet) (archive)

View attachment 4778252 (tweet) (archive)

i've edited to separate the tweets and the archives for your viewing pleasure.

I already know the answer, but why? Why does he post shit like this on Twitter (lol)?
Ralph can tweet (lol) and get his whorse to type out statements all day, go big and print out 69 pages of KF chat and give it to yer honor, it comes down to your word against teen mom’s as to what went down when you were alone with her. Ralph is the one with a criminal history of violence against women. I’ll be honest I lost track of which embarrassing legal proceeding/s he’s tweeting (lol) about. I think there’s two in the same day?

Question- how long after teen mom got out of the loony bin did this degeneracy occur?