🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Um...]

Xander is gonna grow up so confused. He has a father figure at home, the Disneyland Diddler who is (getting) married to Faith and who has raised him since he was a baby, wants to adopt him and who he sees every day. That's his father. But he's still forced to meet this short ragepig man a couple of times a year in an awkward supervised setting (like he's visiting him in prison) who he is probably being told by Faith is his "daddy", because apparently she's not allowed to just lie to Xander cause "muh parental alienation". Basically Xander has two dads, but only a real relationship with one.

Someone should educate this piggy on the difference between a sperm donor and a father. A father is the man who’s there in the kid’s life every day. A sperm donor gets 2 hour supervised visits once a month in a public facility as mandated by the court.

Idk why Ralph is proud of this set-up, it's extremely embarrassing.

Ralph’s entire life is embarrassing.

he's right, malign influences do keep him from visitation with his suhn. Let's count them, shall we?

Which brings us to the big one......
- Poverty! Yes, Ralph can't visit his spawn because he is a broke ass bish who does scare!

Poverty is what’s up with Ralph these days, despite his lying about all the $$ he’s raking in on every stream. All you have to do is look at his life to see it.

He’s contemplating moving to Tijuana, I assume to be closer to his suuuhhn and make his court-ordered visitations less onerous. So why Tijuana? Why not move to Sandy Eggo? Why does it have to be Mexico? It’s not to avoid being served with legal papers, he broadcasts his location (gonna see mah suuhhnn!) weeks in advance. It can’t be that he just prefers the ambiance of a third world cesspool to living in the USA. That leaves poverty as the driving force. His broke ass can’t afford to live anywhere but a third world cesspool. Cost of living in Tijuana is less than half what it would be in San Diego, just a few miles away.

Tell the world how flat broke you are without saying it, piggy.

 

[lester]

Do you guys think it's possible, being born of Ralph's DNA and all, that these 2 kids can grow up well adjusted and thriving? I mean without him truly being involved with them.

 

[HackerX]

Do you guys think it's possible, being born of Ralph's DNA and all, that these 2 kids can grow up well adjusted and thriving? I mean without him truly being involved with them.

They've got their work cut out for them. Can't forget that their mothers allowed Ralph to coom in them in the first place, so it's not like their pig half is all they have to worry about. Xander is pretty much screwed, but Cozy.TV Rozy has a decent chance to not become a freakshow. Her grandad isn't Ralph 2 and I suspect the horse has turned the page as far as being an e-celeb, pickme girl.

 

[MadStan]

Xander is gonna grow up so confused. He has a father figure at home, the Disneyland Diddler who is (getting) married to Faith and who has raised him since he was a baby, wants to adopt him and who he sees every day. That's his father. But he's still forced to meet this short ragepig man a couple of times a year in an awkward supervised setting (like he's visiting him in prison) who he is probably being told by Faith is his "daddy", because apparently she's not allowed to just lie to Xander cause "muh parental alienation". Basically Xander has two dads, but only a real relationship with one.

Idk why Ralph is proud of this set-up, it's extremely embarrassing. If he actually wanted what's best for Xander he would fuck off and let his mexican papa adopt him so he can have some semblance of a normal family, but ofc Ralph only cares about himself.

Nah he will grow up fine. There are literally millions of examples of kids in similar situations that grow up to be totally fine. You’ll see this same scenario in the black community with absent fathers and look at how great they turn out.

 

[FiveStarAce]

Security: "Okay kiddo, this scaly dude in crocs? That's your Daddy. Spend 30 minutes with him and don't let him touch you. Now what do we say?"
Xander: "Hi Daddy..."
Ralph: "SEE HOW GREAT I AM!? I BET XANDOR DOESN’T CALL THAT PEDOPHILE JOSH MOON HIS DADDY!? NOW WHERE IS MY MATCHBOX PLAYSET BISH?"

Lmao, that clarification post is just Gold. FIVE STAR BIRTHDAYS, BISH!

 

[Bepis]

View attachment 6438609
link / archive

: lmao ah broadcasted the first one and wont no shit happen tew me l-m-a-ohhh
yew think ahm going back to nigga soda anytieem sewn.... or ever? hahahahahahahahaha View attachment 6438630

Now that Ralph "isn't going back to Minnesota", I guess we know where Juju's next live show is going to be.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Pretty sure I ran into Ethan Ralph at the airport on his travels back home

 

[Piggertits]

Looks like Ralph got fact checked by baby mama numero uno

 

[JustStopDude]

Ralph was pilled up and misheard his son referring to him as "deadbeat"

 

[Die For Me!]

Ralph in desperate need of Noir artists, someone please help a nigga out:

link / archive
mfr maek me noir please ah swish to da era of the show lol....................if yew have tahm.......................if not das ok... s-sorry.

 

[Near]

Ah the private eye Ralph,

Gets every interrogation wrong, starts fist fights already knocked out, and gets 1 star on every case solely because of damage to city property from his drunk driving.

 

[Mynameisdark]

The n-word and motherfucker, is pilled out Ralphs "umm" and "uhh". You can tell the resignation that sets in when he hit send, Ralph realizes he will never get a reply.

 

[AltisticRight]

Pure strain white trash.

There's Kobe Wagyu and there's West Memphis piggytits.

 

[KebabShopSauce]

Imagine Xander saying "if you'd like to know the truth about it" in a little kid voice

It was probably YOU who shat my diaper, mom I legally can't discuss!

 

[Raiken]

jesus ralph, take a damn shower. actual pigs who roll in their own shit have beter skin condition then you have.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Ralph's private eye is the one he hides behind sunglasses cuz it got googlystomped by a pimp

 

[RCRA/CERCLA/GOONER]

They've got their work cut out for them. Can't forget that their mothers allowed Ralph to coom in them in the first place, so it's not like their pig half is all they have to worry about. Xander is pretty much screwed, but Cozy.TV Rozy has a decent chance to not become a freakshow. Her grandad isn't Ralph 2 and I suspect the horse has turned the page as far as being an e-celeb, pickme girl.

Honestly... i dont have much hope for pantsu kid...

 

[deeman]

Ralph's private eye is the one he hides behind sunglasses cuz it got googlystomped by a pimp

More like Ralph's brown eye.

 

[RCRA/CERCLA/GOONER]

“Nurgle is Kang.”
- Ralpus Plaguegunt

Ralpus Plaguegunt THE GREAT UNCLEAN ONE!!!!

 

[Rage Pig]

Considering that piggy likes to overshare to own the haydurrs and impress the gaggle of retards aka his fans, there are suspiciously few tweets from his great trip.
- No pictures of his hotel, which means it's either the filthy couch of one of his 300 viewers or a very cheap, cockroach infested hellhole
- No pictures of his fantastic meals, so it's trash burgers and road kill since there are no tortas in California cheap enough for his small budget
- No pictures of him meeting his daddy Dax, it seems Juju's scrotum suffered from a violent explosion which sent him to the hospital
- No pictures of any presents for his son, this broke ass nigga appeared with empty hands again, poor Xander had to endure the stinky pig man without any reward