🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[TigerBloodMan69]

Don't listen to them Ralph, it's not a scam. They're not going to kidnap you and sell your organs on the black market. That's an urban myth. Think of about all the free pussy and a place to stay.

Those organs are not worth harvesting.

 

[Oliver Onions]

I choose to believe the porn offer is legit. Not just because it would be funny, but because there are tons of genres Ralph is perfect for: cuckoldry, small penis humiliation, old man, fat man, scat...combine his versatility with his complete lack of scruples and desperate need for cash and he is an ideal candidate for sleazy off-brand porn.

 

[3-2-1836]

Sorry for the double post but this is just too funny. GUNTED.com is back on the menu
View attachment 7219784View attachment 7219788

Checks out, Colombian porn studios regularly get caught using 16 year old girls in their movies.

 

[HONKY DESTROYER]

Checks out, Colombian porn studios regularly get caught using 16 year old girls in their movies.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CH-

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Dude. If someone told me to “go to Colombia and I’ll get all the women I want ” I would immediately fucking heel turn and run because that is a human trafficking/organ harvesting red flag that only the lowest of IQ people fall for.

“Hola absolutely disgusting fat gunted American gringo! Please come to Columbia with your American passport, unmarked US dollars, and your cell phone with no battery in it. You will get all the drugs, booze and babes you want essay!!!

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Rad Roberts is a pretty good porn name. I support this new arc.

 

[Elmo]

Rad Roberts is a pretty good porn name. I support this new arc.

Join Thumb Club, just 9 gorillion Colombian pesos for access to exclusive kahntent.

 

[lol cow supreme]

Scammed by a false community happenings... "Wait no more" the janny said.... Where's the Gunt on Latinx porn we were promised?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

A porn star arc would be the most disgusting arc. He would have to start using OnlyFans and other services like those.

 

[Braphamut]

A golden opportunity for Ralph to show everyone his gonzo journalism bona fides! Document the process with a companion travelogue-- just like Shane and those guys on Vice used to!

Surely better than sitting in a Mexican Burger King for over an hour begging for 50 bucks to buy a hat (and failing).

... or continue to sit in his goon piss cave begging states for a clutch of compulsory connection minutes like a servile boot licking gimp.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

I don't see a Colombian porno outfit paying for Ralph's flight, and the little fat pig can't afford a flight there, what with all the hats and tortas he can barely afford.

The other funny scenario I see, Ralph not understanding how low the value is of a Colombian peso, and ends up losing serious amounts of money on the trip. Why his plumber / lawyer/accountant/handyman/landlord would be furious if Ralph can't pay for his rent for the hog shack.

 

[Gator_Aids]

Sorry for the double post but this is just too funny. GUNTED.com is back on the menu
View attachment 7219784View attachment 7219788

Anytime Ralph travels to somewhere outside of his norms we always wind up getting so klassic Killstream khantent. Whether its in Texas or Jersey for his idiot events, Portugal, even Minnesota we got to seem him bitch out and deny his own name then run away. Ralph on a plane statistically has one of the highest chances for us to get a laugh.

Do it, Ralph.

 

[lol cow supreme]

View attachment 7222374

Do it, Ralph.

You're forgetting the best part about a Columbia trip... easily accessible, reasonably cheap, and mostly legal cocaine. Fuck the pill stream...

Then theres always the chance of him thinking he can get a few keys through customs into Mexico.

 

[Fastest Hand In The East]

Sorry for the double post but this is just too funny. GUNTED.com is back on the menu
View attachment 7219784View attachment 7219788

Ralph is the ultimate test, the final boss of porn casting for the applicants.

 

[Telvanni]

Sorry for the double post but this is just too funny. GUNTED.com is back on the menu
View attachment 7219784View attachment 7219788

I look at their Twitter and the first thing there pinned is a "Big white cock," performing anal on a Latinx
No wonder he wants in!

 

[Jershua Coomer Troon]

the little fat pig

I dont know if its factually accreeyate to call him fat anymore. His diet called poverty and ozempic has left him with nothing but loose skin.

Landmines: There's a risk of landmines in rural and remote areas.

LANDMINES?!

Colombia was once among the countries where people suffered the most injuries from landmines, a result of more than five decades of armed conflict between leftist guerrillas, crime gangs, right-wing paramilitary groups and the government.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Maybe they'll try to ransom Ralph off. How many of Analwolf's SSI checks do you think the Colombians will ask for?

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

I dont know if its factually accreeyate to call him fat anymore. His diet called poverty and ozempic has left him with nothing but loose skin.

He's claimed he's like 170. At 5'1", that's still severely obese. The extra skin just makes it worse, if you'd like to know the truth about it.

 

[Franz Joseph]

I never thought a Ralph gay porn arc would be potentially on the table but here we are.

 

[KillaSmoke]

I look at their Twitter and the first thing there pinned is a "Big white cock," performing anal on a Latinx
No wonder he wants in!

Nah, don't forget, Ralph told Jesse that he isn't a huge fan of anal, because penetrating an asshole requires a full erection