On the off chance Ralph is actually south of the border and not just in South Carolina, I have some personal advice for the ragehog.
Ralph, I know you refuse to learn Spanish, but there's a couple of phrases you might want to learn for your own safety. Just in case the Federales decide they want to hassle the Ralphamale. The first phrase you should learn is, if approached by a Mexican cop, you say Voy a matarte , which means "I have done nothing wrong". If the cop still doesn't back off, just repeat the phrase Quiero follar la cara de tu madre or "I loved my mother very much" in order to appeal to their sense of family. That's it Ralph, good luck.