"completely fine in theory" "as a psychologist"
Nigga I gotta call BS on that one, our knowledge of how the brain works is far from complete and I don't think it shows polyamory is fine. Furthermore a statement like "polyamory is completely fine" just isn't meaningful or clear:
Do you mean to say, 'a polyamorous couple won't encounter problems?'
Obviously false.
Do you mean to say, 'polyamory is completely fine because a couple won't develop jealousy?
Again, this thread has shown that not to be true.
Do you mean to say, 'a polyamorous couple won't encounter problems if they have 'communication' and 'emotional maturity'?
This is such a frustrating opinion because 'emotional maturity' is ill defined. If polyamory causes all these problems in couples that thought they were stable, why doesn't that tell you this lifestyle and ideology are not OK?
Someone earlier compared polyamory to communism and I think that was very apt given past arguments I've had with Marxists. 'Real polyamory' and 'true communism' are two of a pair. If communism causes all this economic trouble in all these countries, why shouldn't we oppose it? If polyamory causes all this trouble in all these peoples lives why is it so unreasonable to see it as bad? I'm sorry if I come off as aggressive, I just feel strongly that these kinds of ideologies that force people to suffer are wrong.
Honey, I said a simple thing without much bulk to it with its writing. I get that it can be a good thing, but only if you seriously understand what the fuck love is, and that means defining "emotional maturity", a very subjective experience, and also defining what "communication" is, which is also a subjective thing in this. And in the end, you will also have to define what "love" is to you in order just to simply begin defining those last two concepts, and I believe that starts with the Self.
Comparing it to communism is apt in its comparison because it's "great idea, wrong species" concept: we want to help/love others in such an absolute way, but we don't know how. Communism was simply a concept of making sure EVERYONE got the shit they needed, but it fucked up completely because it, for one, wasn't executed correctly in principal; and second, because no one had a fucking clue what EVERYONE wanted and needed; likewise with Polyamory, it's this idea of trying to get both parties to get everything they both want, and fucking up completely because they don't even understand what they want/need. Both are decentralized, and have a false concept that people know themselves to a point that they can do this shit.
Communism was a grandiose idea of helping EVERYONE, both politically and physically, but that comes under the premise that you truly understand what is right for EVERYONE, and that means understanding what is right for Yourself.
Likewise, with love: if you truly don't understand and love yourself to an absolute point, it's going to be hard just to have monogamous relationships-- let alone something far grander than that. Emotional maturity would simply be described as understanding/"loving" yourself to a point that you get your own subjective, personal experience in relation to Others and their own subjective experience. Likewise, "communication" would be understanding yourself to a point that you can clearly say who and what you are and what you want to someone without a bunch of bullshit added onto it because you don't, well, KNOW what you want. Someone with high emotional maturity and communication has a strong concept of themselves, and therefore can execute it in the real world both by their emotional reactions, and the way they speak to others.
This is but my own viewpoint on this entire thing; it's completely complex and strange territory that is completely new for the modern age: we have only really be subjected to monogamous stuff, and things like this are completely out of left field. However, a lot of these stories I've read on this Reddit seem to be a bunch of irresponsible people who truly don't know themselves: they just like the idea of sex, and nothing more.
They don't know how to love.
And yet, what is love? If you can't even answer that question, you're probably not even ready for a monogamous relationship in my opinion, and a lot of these people strike me as that: they just want a fuck buddy, and nothing more. They just want sex, and nothing more.Which is fine if you want casual sex and everything deep down in your heart (yourself), but I feel like these people don't even KNOW what they want. However, if you are using the word "polyamory" to describe any of that, you have fucked up down the line somewhere, because that shit is never just casual sex lol.
