Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

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ICametoLurk said:
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Fixed:
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Why do people feel the need to tell their family that they are mentally ill degenerate sluts
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This goes on and on and on and on...
 
Somsnosa said:
Old people, mostly.

Really sexual generacy is more of a Where You Live than How Old Are You thing. Living in a small but decent town I can tell you most of them didn't have relationships that didn't last around one year at least, even if it's the first one. They value their 'first time' and even their first kisses, both girls and boys. I imagine in trash big cities teens who just fuck around are much more prominent, but cautious teens do exist and always will be.
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dunno man, that one time I visited my cousins in bumfuck rural europe and one of them took me to their village "club" the youth was just as trashy as in the big city I come from, they're just grinding and making out to our equivalent of country instead of techno

edit: obviously not all teens are like that, I agree, but yeah

edit²:
Nuthatch said:
Has anyone brought up the fact that birth control has an effect on who we are attracted to?

With the increase of birth control usage due to availability, it would be interesting to see how many of these cases are influenced by it in some way. Specifically the times where women bring up the polyamory idea instead of men, since this would be something affecting the libido and mate selection of women.

When it comes to men in the relationship bringing up the idea of polyamory and such, I think that's been touched on a lot already in this thread since reddit is male-dominated and most of the post examples come from them. Although things like narcissism, social ineptitude, weird ingrained ideas of needing to be 'sexually free' to be progressive, are all things that affect both sexes.
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oh we talked about how hormonal contraception changes mate preference in our classes! women and other females on the pill (or similar) prefer ""beta"" males (god I hate the word but it kinda fits), as in less aggressive types with less testosterone and, well men who are more "related" to the women, as in males whose genetic makeup is more similiar in the MHC genetic section which is linked to the immune system (women not on birth control prefer men with dissimiliar MHC types, for obvious reasons). but hormonal birth control also lowers libido, in some women it completely annihilates it.

so on the one hand hormonal birth control makes women less eager to fuck, especially not fuck around, which would hinder polyamory
but on the other hand it also makes women go more for inbred beta male degenerates, which could make for an interesting link between the two

edit again:
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I'm pretty tired right now and totally misread this:
"our daughter (2) would not meet any additional partners until she's a bit older and only if they're serious, long term partners"
as them already planning to get their two year old into poly in the future
 
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What is it with the poly/board gaming overlap? Even they've noticed it...
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Random
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Hey, I think I found someone on this subreddit I like!
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Let's experiment with people! everything about this post rubs me the wrong way.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/6vreri/im_a_gay_male_does_an_asexual_poly_relationship/

What gets me about this subreddit is people post stuff like this and the commentators are all chill and just give normal advice like this isn't incredibly weird. It's really hard to tell when the comments are going to be tearing the OP a new one, or just going along with it and giving poor advice.
 

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Big Nasty said:
More on the differences between swingers and polys:

My impression is that swingers are a lot more assertive than polys. I remember this long sex weirdo thread I read somewhere, and there were more than a few stories about swingers' meetups turning into fistfights because someone was enjoying themselves a bit too much with someone else's partner. One example was of an incident where a fight broke out because a lady hugged the guy afterwards. Funniest story was about an orgy were everybody was banging their asses off and accidentally destroyed a very expensive drum set.
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I've heard those stories. One I heard was that a couple wanted to do 3-somes They invite the girl around and they are all doing their thing, then while the g/f is getting off and the b/f is fucking the other girl, he cums in the girl. And the g/f goes absolutely batshit that he came in her and starts beating the shit out of him.

I've never even really got the idea of the "fuck buddy" or "swingers" thing. If you are fucking other people just because they are a dick or a hole on legs, why aren't you just using a toy? Because that's all you see each other as. Seems like a lot more work and time just for a sex toy on legs.

Plus there's those stories I've heard of "Oh I have this fuck buddy on the side, but they've told me they've actually fallen for me, what do I do?"
 
melty said:
What is it with the poly/board gaming overlap? Even they've noticed it...
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Random
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Hey, I think I found someone on this subreddit I like!
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Let's experiment with people! everything about this post rubs me the wrong way.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/6vreri/im_a_gay_male_does_an_asexual_poly_relationship/

What gets me about this subreddit is people post stuff like this and the commentators are all chill and just give normal advice like this isn't incredibly weird. It's really hard to tell when the comments are going to be tearing the OP a new one, or just going along with it and giving poor advice.
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did this gay dude really just call having a friendship with a woman an asexual polyamorous relationship where he lets other dudes fuck her? like, yeah this is pretty standard interaction between a straight woman and a gay man? what is he on about???
 
beansntoast said:
did this gay dude really just call having a friendship with a woman an asexual polyamorous relationship where he lets other dudes fuck her? like, yeah this is pretty standard interaction between a straight woman and a gay man? what is he on about???
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He wants to have a "romantic" relationship but to keep it asexual.

How you're supposed to have a romantic relationship with someone you have no sexual interest in, I have no idea.
 
vertexwindi said:
Fuck buddies can work, you just need to be mature enough to separate the sex from romantic feelings.
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That's a curious statement though, that these days people consider separating romantic feelings and sex is considered a mature trait. Then not being able to separate the two is a sign of immatury? It's like society is telling you you aren't an adult unless you are banging people on the side.
 
Medicated said:
That's a curious statement though, that these days people consider separating romantic feelings and sex is considered a mature trait. Then not being able to separate the two is a sign of immatury? It's like society is telling you you aren't an adult unless you are banging people on the side.
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That's not exactly what I meant.

Obviously sex can be romantic, and it's certainly better than NSA, but you can have sex with people you don't care about romantically. Maybe I worded my point badly. It's not inherently mature to completely separate romance and sex, and I'll admit it's hard to do so, but plenty of people will at one point in their life have sex with someone they don't have feelings for, and that's OK. It can work.
 
vertexwindi said:
That's not exactly what I meant.

Obviously sex can be romantic, and it's certainly better than NSA, but you can have sex with people you don't care about romantically. Maybe I worded my point badly. It's not inherently mature to completely separate romance and sex, and I'll admit it's hard to do so, but plenty of people will at one point in their life have sex with someone they don't have feelings for, and that's OK. It can work.
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It wasn't meant as an attack on you, it's just I hear the phrase repeated all over the place. It seems to be the prevailing attitude.
 
Medicated said:
It wasn't meant as an attack on you, it's just I hear the phrase repeated all over the place. It seems to be the prevailing attitude.
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Oh I don't consider it an attack at all. It's all just opinions. I personally haven't heard it repeated all over the place but then again I don't really associate with the kinds of people who would say that kinda shit out in public. My sex life is my private business because really, who needs to know what kind of weird shit I get up to.

(More like privates business)
 
This whole thing must be very weird to people who have a single girlfriend in high school or college and marry their high school sweetheart.
 
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