Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
This thread pretty much confirmed everything I thought about poly people. I had a friend in school who was "poly" and he was a strange character. But he was at least honest about it being mostly sex-driven and that he just liked sleeping around.

Maybe he felt he could be honest with me since I'm the monogamous sort and had just lost someone close to me and wasn't interested in romantic pursuits. I wasn't competition in the local "poly scene".

It's weird. Online communities bring out the worst in everyone since there's some privacy there, but these poly people are strange in "real life" as well.
 
Commander Keen said:
It's weird. Online communities bring out the worst in everyone since there's some privacy there, but these poly people are strange in "real life" as well.
Click to expand...
This is one of the few characteristics that all lolcow communities share (think incels, or bronies, or troons)...
What bothers me about polys is that they often drag innocent people into their clownery, and those people are often their or their partners' children.
 
Alpha Loves You said:
View attachment 494004
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/8xzxrf/what_if_i_dont_want_to_do_this_anymore/
Click to expand...
Whatever works for you is OK, as long as everyone involved consents. That's a fundamental principle. You don't have to keep being poly or non monogamous. You get that choice.

So does your bf. He doesn't have to want to stop just because you want to, or because you don't think he's enjoying it enough. He gets that choice.
Click to expand...
From the comments. Yes, he gets that choice, but polys never consider that someone would expect their longterm partner to care about their feelings. It's everyone for themselves.
 
Buer said:
Edit:
To all those people saying poly is for fat people to get their rocks off, you're right:
View attachment 486420
Click to expand...
They have a photo megathread with all the kyoot polycules (poly couples)

Summary: Fat
polycule 1.jpg
polycule 2.jpg
polycule 3.jpg
polycule 4.jpg
polycule 5.jpg
 
Last edited:
Oh God, that first guy with the hat, the leather vest, and the plaited beard...could you be any more of a stereotype?

They're not actually all hideous, but there is a photo that was left out where there's three of them all wearing full latex bodysuits. There are gas masks and one of them is on a chain. It's exactly as bad as it sounds.
 
Crunchy Leaf said:
Oh God, that first guy with the hat, the leather vest, and the plaited beard...could you be any more of a stereotype?

They're not actually all hideous, but there is a photo that was left out where there's three of them all wearing full latex bodysuits. There are gas masks and one of them is on a chain. It's exactly as bad as it sounds.
Click to expand...
For the curious:
VbSOWUi.jpg
 
ICametoLurk said:
Map of some reddit members
goo.gl/Rqy9yJ

I did Google URL shortner so that if they googled it they would find it
Click to expand...
I know I'm oldposting here, but I decided to check this out. I found that one of these weirdos, Harshmellow, lives a few blocks away from Harvard Yard. That means this guy could possibly be either a student or a professor at Harvard University.
 
Crunchy Leaf said:
This doesn't surprise me at all. It also explains why, like in other politicized nerd subcultures, they lash out at the idea of human emotions being normal.
Click to expand...

They think "rules" will be enough to shelter them from the emotional pains that comes with relationships. Because in a good relationship with rules and communication, you should never feel bad right? But there will always be assholes who skirt rules or find a way to hurt you out of the bounds of rules or communicate half-truths to manipulate. Not worth it.
 
Crunchy Leaf said:
From the comments. Yes, he gets that choice, but polys never consider that someone would expect their longterm partner to care about their feelings. It's everyone for themselves.
Click to expand...

That's the maddening thing about people like this. They live in a world of impenetrable "should". "Well, you should be able to just ignore what he does." "Nobody should care about what you do in your bedroom." "I should be able to find a worthwhile partner by just working my way through Craiglist and banging everything that holds still long enough."

But that's not how the world or the human heart work. Nor should they.
 
superscript said:
They think "rules" will be enough to shelter them from the emotional pains that comes with relationships. Because in a good relationship with rules and communication, you should never feel bad right? But there will always be assholes who skirt rules or find a way to hurt you out of the bounds of rules or communicate half-truths to manipulate. Not worth it.
Click to expand...
Yeah, emotions don't work that way. Anyone with half an ounce of life experience should realise that emotions don't conform to any rules or logical explanations, and the only way to deal with them is to actually deal with them - not demand they should disappear because they get in the way of the narrative. But heaven forfend anyone tell a poly person their actions are hurting others. Responsibility for thee and not for me. Freedom = a shitton of rules.

Poly is a bullshit excuse for sleeping around. All these rules and crappy feel-good forums, scientific-sounding names for the things they do are all an attempt to make simple sleeping around more socially acceptable. It'd be a lot more acceptable if they were just honest about it, frankly.
 
The thing I can't stand is that they basically think all romantic relationships should be like casual dating, where you don't prioritize anyone and you never make any firm commitments. That's why 'opening up' a mono relationship will never work--someone will get angry that they can no longer depend on their partner like they did before. It seems very lonely.

I also dislike when they conflate romantic relationships with friendships, e.g. 'you wouldn't have a problem with your partner having multiple friends, would you?' They're not the same thing. This isn't saying friendships are lesser, just that they're different.
 
Crunchy Leaf said:
The thing I can't stand is that they basically think all romantic relationships should be like casual dating, where you don't prioritize anyone and you never make any firm commitments. That's why 'opening up' a mono relationship will never work--someone will get angry that they can no longer depend on their partner like they did before. It seems very lonely.

I also dislike when they conflate romantic relationships with friendships, e.g. 'you wouldn't have a problem with your partner having multiple friends, would you?' They're not the same thing. This isn't saying friendships are lesser, just that they're different.
Click to expand...

It's based upon the assumption that sex is no big deal, just rubbing your respective bits against each other and feeling good, and that no emotional entanglement will come of it. That way, you can add sex to your existing friendships, and nothing changes. For obvious reasons, this doesn't work.

It also allows them to pin the blame on the other party when they get angry about the affair. If A is in a relationship with B and A wants to open the relationship to fuck C, then B has two choices: say no and potentially end the relationship, or say yes and try not to get jealous. When B does get jealous, for reasons described above, suddenly they're the one at fault because they broke the agreement.

It's not a coincidence that poly is popular with autistic nerds who have some serious hangups about what relationships should be like, with the occasional manipulative asshole thrown in. They lack the emotional intelligence to be able to handle such situations.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom