Post the random.txt currently on your screen - 2nd edition

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”i fear for my life every day because trump won't give me money for me to waste on striped socks, used panties and a webcam to show the world how girly i am”
 
Exceptionally topical
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“What's reality? I don't know. When my bird was looking at my computer monitor I thought, "That bird has no idea what he's looking at." And yet what does the bird do? Does he panic? No, he can't really panic, he just does the best he can. Is he able to live in a world where he's so ignorant? Well, he doesn't really have a choice. The bird is okay even though he doesn't understand the world. You're that bird looking at the monitor, and you're thinking to yourself, I can figure this out. Maybe you have some bird ideas. Maybe that's the best you can do.”
 
This wasn't the one currently on my screen, but it was my first time seeing it and it was so absurd that I felt like I had to post it here.

”I went to Kiwi Homepage and got a popup saying animalpornfetish.us wanted my name and password for ym facebook.”
 
UNCONTESTED FLORIAN IS:
NATIONAL MERIT SCHOLAR FINALIST
140 IQ (143 IQ VERBAL REASONING) PER WAIS-IV
SMARTER THAN YOU
 
“Wait, so we're the providers for random.txt.? I thought the lolcows were the ones being quoted”
 
Terry bless.
“What's reality? I don't know. When my bird was looking at my computer monitor I thought, "That bird has no idea what he's looking at." And yet what does the bird do? Does he panic? No, he can't really panic, he just does the best he can. Is he able to live in a world where he's so ignorant? Well, he doesn't really have a choice. The bird is okay even though he doesn't understand the world. You're that bird looking at the monitor, and you're thinking to yourself, I can figure this out. Maybe you have some bird ideas. Maybe that's the best you can do.”
 
”on the plus side we finally killed her. kiwifarms used their questionable powers to murder schmorky and todokaras in the same year. amen”
 
"Lolcows do not exist, stalker. That's just the invented label you apply to innocent people to self-justify your criminal harassment and clinical obsession."
 
”Why did i google my name on kiwifarms. Why, fucking why. It turns out my paranoia is true, im on there. Fuck.”
 
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