Questions for the female autists here - Sneed

[NoReturn]

When would you say this really began to ramp up with girls, and what do you suppose the reason is? Off the top of my head I assume it's the laziest way to declare oneself to not be like other girls (tm) while also doubling as an excuse for shitty behavior and acting stupid.

Around the time tumblr became popular.
I'm not making a joke, I'm an oldfag and I distinctly remember seeing an uptick when that site started becoming popular. You almost never saw that stuff when the "cool places" online were sites like Newgrounds, Neopets, DeviantArt, etc.

 

[RX-78]

Around the time tumblr became popular.

Ok, I deserve an alarm clock for that one ha ha. Aside from maybe Neopets, I can't picture any of the sites you mentioned as being particularly welcoming to people whose lives revolve around attention-seeking via pretending to be retarded and being very loud about it, so you're on to something. Telling someone off for being stupid is one of the most fundamental ways to gate keep, and as such tumblr kicking off the modern era of caring about the feelings of complete strangers* has lead to shitty behavior being more widespread because digital peer pressure means you can't just slap some motherfucker upside the head for sperging about her littlest pet shop collection in a discussion about Egyptian history.

*Yes I'm aware that the tolerance-enforcement tumblrinas pushed so hard was all bullshit meant to make the world's worst women feel better about themselves by lowering the standard so that their zero-effort selves became acceptable to the masses, but you get my meaning.

 

[Neurotic]

Has anyone else got the kind of "sensory issues" (yeah, the phrase is cringe, leave me alone) where it impacts their ability to do things they think they might enjoy otherwise?

I was thinking about this over the weekend because I had to use a certain type of pencil for the first time in a long time, and I remembered how I never got into coloring or art because I can't stand the noises pencils and markers make. I started using pens for everything in middle school and just carried white-out on me and never took an art class again after I gained the ability to choose my own courses.
Similarly, I never got into dancing or choreography because listening to the same music multiple times makes me want to throw a chair.

Absolutely. I used to hate the feel of flour, but I have always loved to bake. Never got into pottery because half-dried clay feels gross. Forceful exposure therapy helped.

Even certain fabrics used to make me cry when I touched them (corduroy bleh). Just have to wear them anyway and get over it.

 

[glass_houses]

Absolutely. I used to hate the feel of flour, but I have always loved to bake. Never got into pottery because half-dried clay feels gross. Forceful exposure therapy helped.

Even certain fabrics used to make me cry when I touched them (corduroy bleh). Just have to wear them anyway and get over it.

I can't touch cheap, rough polyester/rayon. It's a huge drama shopping for clothes because it's not a texture that's visible. The fabric is used frequently used for the light dresses that I like to wear in summer, so I really don't have any choice but to touch the garments myself. Makes my skin absolutely crawl when I feel that shit.

 

[Chin of Campbell]

I can't touch cheap, rough polyester/rayon. It's a huge drama shopping for clothes because it's not a texture that's visible. The fabric is used frequently used for the light dresses that I like to wear in summer, so I really don't have any choice but to touch the garments myself. Makes my skin absolutely crawl when I feel that shit.

Yo, I have this shit happen to me too! I accidentally get shirts made of the crap and I just can't handle it, makes me feel like I haven't showered or something. I don't know if it's entirely psycho or a reaction I have or what, but it sucks.

 

[Android raptor]

Babies and young kids screaming in an enclosed space=hell

 

[Stan]

Has anyone else got the kind of "sensory issues" (yeah, the phrase is cringe, leave me alone) where it impacts their ability to do things they think they might enjoy otherwise?

I was thinking about this over the weekend because I had to use a certain type of pencil for the first time in a long time, and I remembered how I never got into coloring or art because I can't stand the noises pencils and markers make. I started using pens for everything in middle school and just carried white-out on me and never took an art class again after I gained the ability to choose my own courses.
Similarly, I never got into dancing or choreography because listening to the same music multiple times makes me want to throw a chair.

certain flavors and textures are intolerable to me. I can’t enjoy fresh fruits (maybe raspberries and pomegranates, if they are good) because the texture is slimy. This used to be worse, every green vegetable tasted bitter, and I hated the texture of spaghetti. Not pasta per se: I liked macaroni and penne but hated spaghetti. I was able to broaden my palate in my teens, but I still hate bananas. Thankfully as an adult it’s no longer socially acceptable to hold me hostage at the dining room table until I take 3 bites of everything presented to me.

Noises are tough sometimes. It’s difficult to hone in on one voice in a loud room, and some noises are fucking painful. Clothing tags are so bothersome I sometimes remove them with a seam ripper. All of this would have been a lot worse if I hadn’t done sensory integration therapy as a kid. It involved playing with different textures (shaving cream was one of them) and therapists gently brushing my skin with one of this little nail scrubbers. It worked, and it kind of turned down the volume on sensations that used to be overwhelming. Idk if it works on adults as well, but it’s something you can ask an occupational therapist about.

 

[Stan]

Babies and young kids screaming in an enclosed space=hell

I’m honestly not sure if that’s an autism thing or a woman thing or a human thing. Babies crying always rises above every other noise in the soundscape to me, but I think it may be adaptive. I can see why it might be conserved, because people attentive to their children will have more survivors than less attentive parents.

 

[Pedophobe]

I’m honestly not sure if that’s an autism thing or a woman thing or a human thing. Babies crying always rises above every other noise in the soundscape to me, but I think it may be adaptive. I can see why it might be conserved, because people attentive to their children will have more survivors than less attentive parents.

Yeah everybody gets that, it's a measurable psychoacoustic effect common to all healthy humans.

 

[Android raptor]

I’m honestly not sure if that’s an autism thing or a woman thing or a human thing. Babies crying always rises above every other noise in the soundscape to me, but I think it may be adaptive. I can see why it might be conserved, because people attentive to their children will have more survivors than less attentive parents.

Pretty shitty adaptation if it makes you want to punt them though

 

[cybertoaster]

2) It makes dating pretty difficult but I suppose the same can be said for autistic men. Not many people want to date someone with autism, it's a liability to most people.

You underestimate how thirsty/desperate some men are.

 

[glass_houses]

@Stan just be aware that without constant exposure you can eventually lose your desensitisation. I worked in heavy industry for a lot of years and while it was hell to begin with, I eventually learned to cope with it. However, a year or two after leaving I noticed that I was becoming steadily more sensitive again, and now, seven years later, I can barely cope with walking down a main road, let alone getting close to heavy machinery. It's very much a case of use it or lose it.

 

[SwanSwanson]

Dear female autists, I am looking for a based femoid to e-date. No fatties, trannies or blacks.

Sincerely, swanswanson.

 

[Gay Mollusk]

Has anyone else got the kind of "sensory issues" (yeah, the phrase is cringe, leave me alone) where it impacts their ability to do things they think they might enjoy otherwise?

I deflock pretty much everything I recieve with velvet because the texture drives me insane. I've also taken to removing tags from thing with a seam stripper and sewing them back up.

Get overwhelmed by large crowds and too many people talking at once.

Honestly I deal with all this by carefully planning out what I do and when I leave the house.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Babies and young kids screaming in an enclosed space=hell

I completely agree except I can deal with them if it's my nieces or nephews.

 

[Neurotic]

General advice for noise sensitivity, I'd suggest trying silicone noise reducing earplugs. The ones I wear are a brand called "Flare" but there are a few others out there, mostly marketed for people with sleep issues. They don't make noises quiter, they make high pitched noises less shrill.

My assumption was that they would be total bullshit. Took part in a study looking to see if they have an effect on autismos and BOY I have never stopped wearing them. Overstimulation from sound and my migraines were both reduced to the point of near non-existence.

Probably won't work for everyone but the things are like $30 and last forever so it's not a big financial risk to try them out.

 

[suspended animation]

Has anyone else got the kind of "sensory issues" (yeah, the phrase is cringe, leave me alone) where it impacts their ability to do things they think they might enjoy otherwise?

I was thinking about this over the weekend because I had to use a certain type of pencil for the first time in a long time, and I remembered how I never got into coloring or art because I can't stand the noises pencils and markers make.

I know how you feel about pencils, on certain types of paper especially it would make me cringe to use them. In high school, I found a Papermate pen that was really soft and shaded in drawings really effectively and used that for all my "art".

The most frustrated I've been with sensory issues is when I was invited by a friend to use her family's theatre seats, which were third or fourth row. I had been to lots of shows in the past, but never so close that I was making eye contact with the actors. It was amazing to be so close, to see brilliant actors at work.

And then the musical numbers started and my brain thought I had just entered a warzone, with the loud instruments thundering in the orchestra pit in front of me and the actors running around onstage singing at the top of their lungs. I had a panic attack/sensory overload or whatever, and had to just zone out off and on throughout the show.

I felt shitty about not being to fully appreciate the performance and I hope the actors didn't notice.

 

[glass_houses]

I felt shitty about not being to fully appreciate the performance and I hope the actors didn't notice.

I haven't been in that exact situation, but I absolutely know how you feel. You've been given this awesome gift, it's incredible, it's an amazing opportunity, but your wonky brain says, "Yeah, nah," and the whole thing ends up completely wrecked.

The worst experience like this was when I was holding my newborn niece, and she began crying. Not the normal baby cry, but that shrill, piercing wail that only new bubs do for the first week of their life. It was so loud and and perfectly on that pitch, that I couldn't keep holding her. My mum saw I was distressed and took my niece out of my arms. I ended up creeping away into an empty bedroom and having a little cry. Not being able to physically hold my niece- or even be in the same room with her- when she needed comforting was one of the most shameful, heart breaking things that I've ever had happen to me.

 

[barbie meat]

Has anyone else got the kind of "sensory issues" (yeah, the phrase is cringe, leave me alone) where it impacts their ability to do things they think they might enjoy otherwise?

I was thinking about this over the weekend because I had to use a certain type of pencil for the first time in a long time, and I remembered how I never got into coloring or art because I can't stand the noises pencils and markers make. I started using pens for everything in middle school and just carried white-out on me and never took an art class again after I gained the ability to choose my own courses.
Similarly, I never got into dancing or choreography because listening to the same music multiple times makes me want to throw a chair.

Caveat: I've never gotten diagnosed but I suspect autism for many reasons so I will throw in my 2¢. I definitely relate on the pencils being intolerable thing. The other reason I hate using them is if you have to draw over the area it gets all smudged. Funny enough, drawing was my main "special interest" from about 5-15 when I got into writing and ended up obsessively doing that instead (which I still do to this day, as a career in addition to my main hobby). I would just draw with pens all the time, and if I fucked up something in a drawing I would continue it anyway, and just consider it practice. It kind of made me better at dealing with failure and not being so perfectionistic.

Also hilariously, I often listen to the same song on repeat for hours if it has the exact right vibes for what I'm feeling, or what I want to feel. Our 'tisms form a perfect yin-yang.

 

[instant]

Other people have called me autistic but I'm not diagnoses and I would never diagnose myself good god.

On the other hand, my little sister is a full on aspie. Diagnosed with aspergers really early, and she couldn't even speak full sentences until she was 6. She's much older now and still not very well adjusted, but progress has been made!

I can't really comment on proclivity to be diagnosed since that's such a time sensitive question. In the previous decade nobody really bothered to check for autism or any other developmental disorders but modern day autism is severely over diagnosed.

What problems do women with it face that guys (usually) don't?

The biggest difference between men and women with autism is pretty obvious, its friend groups. Whenever I took my sister to speech therapy, all the low functioning autists and aspies behave basically the same as her. The issue with normal people is that the normal guy is way WAY more permissive of autistic behavior than the normal girl. Because of this inevitably all of my little sister's friends are either other autistic girls or boys.

As a sperg, my little sister often makes this stupid joke to literally everyone that "you'd look funny if you were bald". A primary school boy would just laugh at this, but a primary school girl would break into tears.