Questions for the female autists here - Sneed

[ZachZeeb]

I've got another question, how do women feel about the overall trend of people self-diagnosing as autistic/on the spectrum?

I have complicated feels on this one personally because I'm currently running off a self-dx and I fucking hate "mental illness is trendy" LARPers.

I had two other autist women friends of mine tell me I'm definitely autistic, due to our glaring similarities and watching my behaviors over the course of years. I rejected it at first until it became very obvious to me... I had this idea in my head that autism was the low-functioning drooling retard disease, and had cognitive dissonance about how similar I actually am to my brother who is diagnosed. I didn't realize my sensory issues, sperg-outs, extreme emotional dysregulation and poor executive function, narrow interests, childishness, restrictive eating, skin picking, and other things I'm too embarrassed to talk about here are actually more than just "trauma symptoms" or the ADHD and other alphabet soup labels I'm currently diagnosed with. Autism fits much better and explains EVERYTHING instead of just a couple symptoms, but most psychs so far have pulled the "you don't seem autistic" or "but you talk good and make eye contact"(which I learned how to do and force it) shit with me because they're not specialized in diagnosing (adult women with) autism.

I'm still in the process of getting a proper diagnosis as an adult, which partially terrifies me due to horror stories I've read of folks being straight up abused or losing rights due to the diagnosis itself! Even my children have the diagnosis and benefit from therapy they receive, and special help in school. For me in school I just stayed isolated and bullied and kept to myself, drawing and reading all the time and sperging out about horses and dragons etc. I wasn't disruptive in any sense so no one thought to check. I would've gotten the dx in childhood except my mom is herself an undiagnosed autist and was extremely neglectful and abusive of me and my brother growing up(like she would beat us for chewing food because she hated the sound, for example). He displays all the usual traits, is on disability and needs a caretaker even in his late 20s; and I relate to him a lot and am learning I should also be asking for help too because I have the same issues, but I just try harder than he does. I also learned to mask(shittily) due to having my mom parentify me a lot and treating me as her "best friend" instead of being a fucking parent. It was a matter of survival for me, except in the long run it's crippled me because I'm suffering with feeling like an abnormal freak and have deluded myself into thinking I'm some form of "broken/traumatized-normie". Meanwhile there's nothing normal about me which causes continued social isolation except for my few friends who are also on the spectrum lol.

I think the folks wanting the label because it's a "quirky thing" or they like "nerd stuff" actually fucking infuriates me, because it is an actual disability that has severely restricted my life and crippled me. Then I see these normies on the clock app who are clearly functioning and LARPing as having autism and DID(another thing I'm diagnosed with due to severe trauma, and it's nothing like the LARPers make it out to be) or other very severe disabilities and making it out to be "cool", whereas I struggle with wanting to KMS regularly due to the isolation living with these disorders causes.

Also seconding previous posts about how it's NOT easier being a woman. The pressure to sexually "put out" followed by the men becoming abusive and leaving, then mocking you for being a single mother is a real thing. I can't say more without PL'ing, but it's definitely a thing.

 

[NoReturn]

I'm still in the process of getting a proper diagnosis as an adult, which partially terrifies me due to horror stories I've read of folks being straight up abused or losing rights due to the diagnosis itself!

Why would you need it now?

(like she would beat us for chewing food because she hated the sound, for example).

She may have misophonia, which can be comorbid with autism, but is its own thing.

 

[RandallBoggs]

The problem with modern day self diagnoses and thinking someone sounds like they could have autism, is that social media and COVID did irreparable damage to mental health and development, to the point it can easily be mistaken for autism.
Unfortunately my hobbies align with the kind you have to have a Discord account for, so naturally I’m exposed to all sorts of horrors. I see plenty, PLENTY of young adult zoomers (18-20) who, to the uninitiated, very much pass as autistic. But after some observation it’s much harder to deduce if it’s actual autism or just regular social media and post Covid brain rot that turned them into creepy fucking weirdos.

 

[NoReturn]

Unfortunately my hobbies align with the kind you have to have a Discord account for, so naturally I’m exposed to all sorts of horrors. I see plenty, PLENTY of young adult zoomers (18-20) who, to the uninitiated, very much pass as autistic. But after some observation it’s much harder to deduce if it’s actual autism or just regular social media and post Covid brain rot that turned them into creepy fucking weirdos.

Zooming out a bit, I wonder if that's because the autistic behaviors aren't like, hard-coded, but exist because of a reaction to how it feels to live in the body we have.
I'm more sensitive to noise and light than normal people, so I don't do activities that I would find overwhelming, and those butterfly effects add up over the years.
e.g. If you think the sun hurts and the playground is too loud or the other kids are too hard to understand (or you keep fucking up and they don't want to play with you anyway), then you read during recess instead. Reading during recess means you have less social interaction, less social interaction means you don't passively learn how to act the same way your peers do at the same ages, and it just snowballs.

 

[ZachZeeb]

Why would you need it now?


She may have misophonia, which can be comorbid with autism, but is its own thing.

All the reasons I listed above and more. It is a struggle coping in life, and having the diagnosis might very well lead to me getting support for those issues. I am already on disability, it's not a question there's something wrong with me.

There's a lot more to it with my mother than just misophonia, but my post was long enough without going on about all her symptoms and I don't need to get into trying to diagnose my mom(I've done enough for her...) when I need to take care of myself.

 

[Silence of the Troons]

I've got another question, how do women feel about the overall trend of people self-diagnosing as autistic/on the spectrum?

I am against it. It's one thing to suspect that you're an autist (or person with ADHD, etc) and even talk about it with others, but if you haven't actually gotten diagnosed with it, you don't get to go around and tell others that you're a certified autist, therefore you're entitled to the same support and so on that those who've gone out of their way to spend money and time on a diagnosis have.

The problem with modern day self diagnoses and thinking someone sounds like they could have autism, is that social media and COVID did irreparable damage to mental health and development, to the point it can easily be mistaken for autism.
Unfortunately my hobbies align with the kind you have to have a Discord account for, so naturally I’m exposed to all sorts of horrors. I see plenty, PLENTY of young adult zoomers (18-20) who, to the uninitiated, very much pass as autistic. But after some observation it’s much harder to deduce if it’s actual autism or just regular social media and post Covid brain rot that turned them into creepy fucking weirdos.

Also this. I suspect that if you took away the phones of a lot of self-diagnosed autistic zoomers (or again, with ADHD) and restricted their internet access for some time, a lot of them would start acting more normally.

 

[NoReturn]

All the reasons I listed above and more. It is a struggle coping in life, and having the diagnosis might very well lead to me getting support for those issues. I am already on disability, it's not a question there's something wrong with me.

Ah there it is. The reason I asked is because it came up a few times earlier itt that sometimes there's a benefit and sometimes there isn't.
Hell, even me asking is one of those things we get shit for when you think about it, isn't it?
I asked "Why would you need it now?" and that's literally all there was to my question, but I know when other people ask that question there's some kind of hidden meaning or judgement or whatever.

There's a lot more to it with my mother than just misophonia, but my post was long enough without going on about all her symptoms and I don't need to get into trying to diagnose my mom(I've done enough for her...) when I need to take care of myself.

Absolutely. Put on your own gasmask first, right?

 

[ZachZeeb]

Ah there it is. The reason I asked is because it came up a few times earlier itt that sometimes there's a benefit and sometimes there isn't.
Hell, even me asking is one of those things we get shit for when you think about it, isn't it?
I asked "Why would you need it now?" and that's literally all there was to my question, but I know when other people ask that question there's some kind of hidden meaning or judgement or whatever.


Absolutely. Put on your own gasmask first, right?

I took it as a genuine question tbh, it's a good ask. Sometimes there really isn't a benefit for folks, depends on their situation. It IS a disability though, not something anyone should want to have. For me it would just give clarity as to treatment options(meds don't work on me, if it's autism that makes sense; I would better benefit from a home care worker to get my daily needs met).

Also yep! I hope she gets help for herself too but that's on her, same as getting proper care for myself is on me. Doesn't matter how retarded someone is, they need to take care of themselves(even if that means requesting care from someone else).

 

[NoReturn]

I took it as a genuine question tbh, it's a good ask

Because we are like each other, lol.

 

[zombifiedgirl]

I've got another question, how do women feel about the overall trend of people self-diagnosing as autistic/on the spectrum?

I hate it. Half of the girls who self diagnosed are the ones who tormented me in elementary school for having hyperfixations or stimming. But i do feel bad for some of the girls who cant get diagnosed due to parents ( alot of parents now dont believe in mental health not surprising..)

 

[Catboi]

I hate it. Half of the girls who self diagnosed are the ones who tormented me in elementary school for having hyperfixations or stimming. But i do feel bad for some of the girls who cant get diagnosed due to parents ( alot of parents now dont believe in mental health not surprising..)

Yeah there's a massive differenve between someome wanting to be quirky versus someone who id self-diagnosong to get help because they are OBVIOUSLY disabled in some way.

I've had doctors before tell me they didn't want to give me diagnoses bevause they didn't "want me to live with the stigma", as if I wasn't already in an emergency psych office and on government disability help even as a minor. I was literally in sped classes despite being smart because I needed the workers. Motherfucker the STIGMA is already happening. It's my LIFE.

 

[fist_of_khonshu]

I've got another question, how do women feel about the overall trend of people self-diagnosing as autistic/on the spectrum?

Diagnosed at 8 when ASD was still Asperger's Syndrome, I think most people who "self diagnose" fall into one of two categories. Either they are looking for attention, and want to use the disorder as an excuse to be a huge shitbag. Or, they genuinely think they have it but don't have the proper channels to get a real diagnosis. I feel as if Self Diagnosis has been a detriment to the way ASD is perceived since attention obsessed teenagers and adult children thought it would make them "quirky."
In reality, Self Diagnosis is tricky because you can start to adopt mannerisms based on a preconceived checklist of symptoms you googled. Even Psychiatrists and Neurologists cannot diagnose themselves. I don't particularly take these people serious, but I also don't dismiss them. But they certainly don't have any right to come and push into actual discussions about Autism when the time comes.
As one reply said here, a lot of the people who bullied me in high and middle school for having odd behaviors, social cues and hyperfixations act like such activists now.

 

[glass_houses]

I self diagnosed... and then went and got myself properly tested and made it official. I have mixed feelings about self diagnosis, and I have mixed feelings about early official diagnosis, and I have mixed feelings about never being diagnosed. There are good and bad aspects to all of the above, and what's good and what's bad varies considerably from individual to individual.

Early diagnosis would likely have saved me a great deal of pain and catastrophe, but on the other hand, I probably wouldn't have done nearly as much or pushed myself to have the (positive) experiences that I have had.

YMMV, I suppose.

 

[Executive Petrel]

Opinions on Elon?

Can you relate to him or does he make you cringe?

 

[glass_houses]

Opinions on Elon?

Can you relate to him or does he make you cringe?

Why the fuck would I care either way? What relevance does he have to my life?

Do you actually intend to contribute to the thread, or are you just mining it for opinions since you're too retarded to make your own, and you have to use other people's instead?

 

[fist_of_khonshu]

Opinions on Elon?

Can you relate to him or does he make you cringe?

Oh he's cringe. Not cause he's autistic but cause he's just a faggot. Either way, he doesn't have any significance in my real life as Glass_Houses has said.

 

[GeekUSA]

Do any of you ever feel like your autism benefits you in a certain way?

 

[glass_houses]

Do any of you ever feel that asking random questions without background, context or your own thoughts makes you sound like a soulless telemarketer doing corporate research?

How do you feel about the sky?

When do you end the word bannannannanna?

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

 

[Super Guido]

Also seconding previous posts about how it's NOT easier being a woman. The pressure to sexually "put out" followed by the men becoming abusive and leaving, then mocking you for being a single mother is a real thing. I can't say more without PL'ing, but it's definitely a thing.

There's also how autistic guys will have excuse after excuse made for them when they do something sexually inappropriate, but if you're a woman, holy shit everyone's on your ass like white on rice. It's like people feel bad for him because he's socially retarded, and they've given up on trying to teach him boundaries.

"Please understand he has a disability." Oh, you mean the same one that I have, where I was told to respect people's personal space?

God damn I hate having the tism.

Opinions on Elon?

Can you relate to him or does he make you cringe?

Him being filthy stinking rich and autistic makes him act like a huge dipshit.

I'd rather people ask me about him than Temple Grandin, honestly. I can't relate to her kind of autism with the animals and the hugboxes, but I can at least vaguely relate to Elon coming up with impractical, convoluted bullshit.

I'm not the kind of autistic that would be labeled as an idiot savant - I'd just be labeled as slow, but not legally retarded.

 

[Chromeo]

I self diagnosed... and then went and got myself properly tested and made it official. I have mixed feelings about self diagnosis, and I have mixed feelings about early official diagnosis, and I have mixed feelings about never being diagnosed. There are good and bad aspects to all of the above, and what's good and what's bad varies considerably from individual to individual.

Early diagnosis would likely have saved me a great deal of pain and catastrophe, but on the other hand, I probably wouldn't have done nearly as much or pushed myself to have the (positive) experiences that I have had.

YMMV, I suppose.

I used to really hate self-diagnosers because my primary exposure was tumblrinas faking shit for attention and actively spreading stereotypes and ditching the costume when it was no longer convenient. Then I got older and had medical problems while I didn't have a doctor, but stuff online helped me find workaround solutions to some of my issues until I could get "real" help. My weird mental line is that self-dx because you can't get care is generally alright (but fallible) and self-dx because you crave attention and validation online is stupid cringe bullshit. I hate saying I "support" or don't support it though because yeah, YMMV, so I just stopped talking about it lol

Do any of you ever feel like your autism benefits you in a certain way?

Yeah, it makes it a lot easier to be cringe and awkward in normal situations so I've got things to feel bad about when I'm trying to go to sleep. /sneed
Joking aside, ehh, not really. I could muster up some kind of answer about how I never would've noticed certain things if I wasn't autistic, like how some fake fur/velvet feels terrible and some feels better, but the cost/benefit ratio is so slim.