r/FedNews

TaimuRadiu said:
the solution is not to let an autistic manchild obsessed with the word DOGE near anything more complex than a pile of playdoh let alone the most sensitive bits of the federal govt
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He didn't ask what the solution isn't, he asked what the solution is. Do you have a better method to audit a government who is allergic to audits and loves to bury and hide things?
 
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TaimuRadiu said:
the solution is not to let an autistic manchild obsessed with the word DOGE near anything more complex than a pile of playdoh let alone the most sensitive bits of the federal govt
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autists should be running the world

we tried giving normies the wheel and they FUCKED IT UP
total autist control now!

ChromaQuack said:
Make it a livestream and give the kid a speaker that plays TTS for $20. Slurs cost $100.

You won't just save money, you'll make the fed profitable that way.
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who will win? hundreds of tough federal employees hardened by years of arduous work in the top branches of government... or one teenager who's allowed to say naughty words?

if we hit a thousand in donations we can get him a kazoo
 
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TaimuRadiu said:
the solution is not to let an autistic manchild obsessed with the word DOGE near anything more complex than a pile of playdoh let alone the most sensitive bits of the federal govt
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9c1.gif
NOT ELON NOT ELON NOT ELON NOT ELON NOT ELON NOT ELON NOT ELON NOT ELON

It's all so tiresome.
 
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Sector2 said:
The freak is saying NOT ELON, not 404.
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Yes, and he's implying I'm doing the opposite of what I believe in order to make the person I'm replyign to look bad, or something. I don't know, this is advanced autism and I left my TIsm-84 calculator at home.
 
Amuro Ray said:
Also I'm pretty sure at least half of these people are LLMs, i refuse to believe that glowies are this retarded.
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At this point I automatically assume that any "adjective-noun-number" account on any platform is a bot. It makes things much easier to disregard wholeheartedly.
NoReturn said:
Salami slices means "Like when you slice a salami and it becomes smaller over time" but also what kind of retard doesn't notice the salami getting smaller? This statement kind of implies /u/account_not_valid thinks the "sudden" disappearance of their salami is a normal and relatable experience.
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They're the type of people who couldn't give you an answer if you asked them how they would feel if they didn't have breakfast that morning. These people lack any sort of abstract thinking, they're the proverbial frog in a pot of water. They're also the ones who fail pattern recognition, like when the ceiling birds are chirping and they can't recognize that its time to replace the batteries.
Fapcop said:
I can almost hear the lip smack, that sucking in air through the teeth and the sound of she boon claws tapping the table, while she explains that you don’t get to tell her what to do, she’s a civil servant n’ shiat.

I’ve seen some black men work hard in the private sector, but the feds and any kind of government seems to attract the lowest kind of groids who are either naturally lazy, or seem to think that sitting and being useless while getting paid is their role in the race war against whitey.
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And the worst part is these people are entrenched lifers, who will continue to suck up public resources after their 20 year retirement, when the inevitability of sickle-cell and/or diabetes/heart disease takes it's toll and government funded Healthcare takes over.

Waifu Days said:
This is the quiet side of me that you do not know: I orchestrated a clandestine operation to secure the release of an allied soldier held captive by the Taliban. I prevented an ISIS terrorist from boarding a commercial aircraft. I spent 3 months listening to phone intercepts in real time to gather evidence needed to dismantle a violent drug gang. I recruited a source to provide critical intelligence on Russian military activities in Africa. I rescued a citizen being tortured to near death by members of an Outlaw Motorcycle Gang. I interceded and stopped a juvenile planning to conduct a school shooting. I spent multiple years monitoring the activities of deep cover foreign intelligence officers, leading to their arrest and deportation. I endured extensive hardship to infiltrate a global child trafficking organization. I have been shot in the line of duty.
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The biggest "that happened" in this entire thread so far. And I'll proceed to dismantle it entirely point by point.

-first off, FBI agents don't have overseas authority or precedent for hostage negotiations or military rescue operations. That's genuine CIA/glownigger territory, if not an entire military operation.
-FBI doesn't have commercial aircraft authority. That's the TSA. And to date, even from liberal rag The Verge, There have only been 2 terrorists caught by the TSA since its founding. And neither were ISIS, and both origiated from foreign airports.
-so your theoretical made up scenario has you admitting to illegally wiretapping and listening into private phone conversations? Good to know that Snowden was right.
-again the FBI doesn't get involved in overseas activities, so your heroic story of overseas recruitment against big bad Russia... I'm pressing a big red X to doubt
-what "outlaw motorcycle gangs" are even around anymore? The Hell's angels are just a bunch of gruff and rowdy boomers. You're more likely to be assaulted by niggers on stolen street bikes than any 60's-era motorcycle gang.
-damn near every school shooting invariably has the "he/she was known to the FBI/on our radar" trope yet nobody ever seems to step in to stop it.
-the deportation of spies is the only likely scenario in this whole made-up story. And most ate cases of industrial espionage, not genuine national security.
-the FBI doesnt give a shit about overseas child trafficking, if they did, they'd be more amenable to securing our borders, not posting on pReddit.
-any FBI agent shot would immediately have lifetime gibs, not keep working their menial desk job and LARPing online as the American James Bond.


CornBogFitz said:
Everyone that wasn’t just barely scraping by was subsidized into delusion by the fed. For niggers they prevent them for going feral by giving them welfare. For midwit 110iq. They just employ them
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Spoiler alert: they employ the niggers too.
 
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Smar Mijou said:
At this point I automatically assume that any "adjective-noun-number" account on any platform is a bot. It makes things much easier to disregard wholeheartedly.
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It's also what any boomer does: just taking the reddit suggestion for joycucumber69 - there always was a lot of overlap between the two...
 
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TaimuRadiu said:
the most sensitive bits of the federal govt
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Something tells me you've never dealt with your typical fed or worked for the fed.

They're all retarded, barely able to function. Gov agencies are hacked what feels like damn near once a year. If you're worried about your info, it's already out there. If you're worried about top secret gov info, who the fuck cares
 
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Waifu Days said:
I am the coach of your child’s soccer team. I sit next to you on occasion in religious devotion. I am a member of the PTA.
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:story:
Glowniggers have no self awareness, do they?
Yes, I know you are everywhere. No, thank you!
I collected your mail and took out your trash while you were away from home.
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I knew it... now I well def. mace any bums going through my trash on sight. That's the only thing YOU changed with that letter.
 
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きたい said:
:story:
Glowniggers have no self awareness, do they?
Yes, I know you are everywhere. No, thank you!
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they're really framing it like we're meant to realize "oh, feds are just people like the rest of us, my beloved neighbor was a fed, i'll revaluate my opinion of feds now, i never considered they're just regular ol everyday folks..." but it just comes across as them reminding us we can't escape them
all it's gonna do is make people reevaluate their feelings about their neighbor
 
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Cuntspiracy Man said:
they're really framing it like we're meant to realize "oh, feds are just people like the rest of us, my beloved neighbor was a fed, i'll revaluate my opinion of feds now, i never considered they're just regular ol everyday folks..." but it just comes across as them reminding us we can't escape them
all it's gonna do is make people reevaluate their feelings about their neighbor
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Yeah, it's crazy that they really think they're doing us a service and that we will believe some sobby muh valor shit about muh terrorists and bikers, when in reality WE are the enemy they're trained to deal with - esp. pertaining the fucking FBI - the state's DOMESTIC no-so-secret political police. The audacity of these people. And the disconnect...
 
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TaimuRadiu said:
the solution is not to let an autistic manchild obsessed with the word DOGE near anything more complex than a pile of playdoh let alone the most sensitive bits of the federal govt
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Listen, I think Elon is kind of a spastic retard as much as the next person, but you're kind of showing your ass when criticism of the methods can only be boiled down to "Doge Autist bad".
Surely if it's being done that incompetently you could divorce the figure of the world's worst diablo player from it, at least for long enough to talk methodology and why it's bad. Calling him a retard might just carry much more weight if you did.

p.s.: you should really take that 8 month carrot.
 
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きたい said:
Yeah, it's crazy that they really think they're doing us a service and that we will believe some sobby muh valor shit about muh terrorists and bikers, when in reality WE are the enemy they're trained to deal with - esp. pertaining the fucking FBI - the state's DOMESTIC no-so-secret political police. The audacity of these people. And the disconnect...
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the only good thing that's coming from this "we were your NEIGHBORS and FRIENDS and COMMUNITY MEMBERS!" bit is that you can now start catching them up on all the bullshit they lied to you about
ask the woman who was complaining about them taking her tiktok toy away from her who insisted 'foreign threats aren't a real thang' why she suddenly cares about foreign threats
question why the guy who's earlobes are bigger than his head whose been 'fighting DA MAN' turned out to be working with DA MAN
 
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