r/polyamory

[Sexual Napalm]

i went on a bumble date with a poly guy once. he was also super into antifa. the whole time he is at dinner with me, he is texting his middle aged live-in gf, but every time he pulled out his phone, he would act like he was doing "official antifa business." it was during all the George Floyd protests, so he kept saying he was helping antifa protestors get bailed out of jail, but i could SEE his phone. He was texting his gf who he admitted was super "insecure" about the arrangement. like, what a badass.

 

[marvlouslie]

Polyamory is cheating, but with extra steps.

 

[Mouse Loli]

On mobile and I know it’s been mentioned many times how many of the online poly relationships are one guy and many woman or everyone is ugly idk if this account has been brought up but on TikTok there is the clickbait house?¿ I think they’re all pornstars or something but the woman who’s is married to the guy is bisexual and from all the videos she posts it looks like she only has female partners. It’s like the guy is getting a harem through his wife but it’s okay because his wife is also sleeping with other people but they’re all women

 

[scathefire]

On mobile and I know it’s been mentioned many times how many of the online poly relationships are one guy and many woman or everyone is ugly idk if this account has been brought up but on TikTok there is the clickbait house?¿ I think they’re all pornstars or something but the woman who’s is married to the guy is bisexual and from all the videos she posts it looks like she only has female partners. It’s like the guy is getting a harem through his wife but it’s okay because his wife is also sleeping with other people but they’re all women

That's the structure of a huge portion of poly relationships, straight male and bisexual women. I guess because he's not threatened by his girlfriend/wife fucking other women but he would feel threatened were she to fuck other men.

 

[DumbDude42]

On mobile and I know it’s been mentioned many times how many of the online poly relationships are one guy and many woman or everyone is ugly idk if this account has been brought up but on TikTok there is the clickbait house?¿ I think they’re all pornstars or something but the woman who’s is married to the guy is bisexual and from all the videos she posts it looks like she only has female partners. It’s like the guy is getting a harem through his wife but it’s okay because his wife is also sleeping with other people but they’re all women

That's the structure of a huge portion of poly relationships, straight male and bisexual women. I guess because he's not threatened by his girlfriend/wife fucking other women but he would feel threatened were she to fuck other men.

it's just a thinly veiled harem arrangement with extra steps, coated in progressive language to make it appealing to leftist types.
and yeah, makes sense that it's more prevalent than other arrangements. women generally aren't as likely to get violently jealous over sharing their man with other women as men would be, and those men in turn don't give much of a shit about the girls in the harem fooling around with each other as long as no other man is involved. basically women can't cuck each other, nor can they cuck the man without another man in the picture, so the harem situation overall is a bit more stable and tolerable than arrangements that involve multiple men.

 

[Kosher Snake]

he was also super into antifa.

that alone merits him being shot and thrown off a cliff ngl

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

On mobile and I know it’s been mentioned many times how many of the online poly relationships are one guy and many woman or everyone is ugly idk if this account has been brought up but on TikTok there is the clickbait house?¿ I think they’re all pornstars or something but the woman who’s is married to the guy is bisexual and from all the videos she posts it looks like she only has female partners. It’s like the guy is getting a harem through his wife but it’s okay because his wife is also sleeping with other people but they’re all women

If they're porn stars it's probably a way to sell more porn, too

 

[Brain Problems]

On mobile and I know it’s been mentioned many times how many of the online poly relationships are one guy and many woman or everyone is ugly idk if this account has been brought up but on TikTok there is the clickbait house?¿ I think they’re all pornstars or something but the woman who’s is married to the guy is bisexual and from all the videos she posts it looks like she only has female partners. It’s like the guy is getting a harem through his wife but it’s okay because his wife is also sleeping with other people but they’re all women

Your online qualifier changes things but from everyone of these things I've seen IRL it's always been one woman with several male partners, one of which is the steady work-horse/OG cuck of the relationship. I've always chalked it up to the fact that dudes are thirsty and will take almost every opportunity to fuck if they can, no matter how deranged the arrangement is. Increase the odds Kurt Steiner style based on how nerdy/socially-retarded they are.

Some fresh content from the subreddit:

r/polyamory - Should I tell my friend that her poly relationship seems a bit off?

143 votes and 18 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

Should I tell my friend that her poly relationship seems a bit off? :…

archived 8 Dec 2021 20:03:20 UTC

archive.ph

Spoiler

My best friend has been in a poly relationship for 4 years. Her boyfriend Marc has three "main" girlfriends right now: My BFF, a woman we’ll call Jessie (who he has a 3 year old with) and Nina who is the youngest of the three.

For years I’ve heard my BFF talk about her relationship mostly positively. It wasn’t always easy for her and she broke up twice in the beginning: Once because it bothered her that when she went somewhere with Marc she couldn’t be sure that they would leave together and once because she realized she didn’t want to be with other men anymore and would rather be exclusive. Eventually they worked things out though and now they’re back together. My BFF occasionally sees other guys but she’s not as enthusiastic about it as she was in the first years which I guess is normal. She talks positively about the relationship. She says she likes the freedom and that she gets along great with Jessie and Nina. She says they have a great thing going on and a peaceful relationship.

Last month I met Marc for the first time. My BFF lives in another state which is why I only got to meet him now. I immediately got the feeling he was flirting with me which my BFF had warned me about. I took it with humor and ignored it. A few days later we went to babysit his and Jessie’s daughter while he had a date night with Jessie. I thought about how nice it is that the girlfriends help each other out like this and how amazing it is for the kid to have multiple adults caring for her. But something seemed a little off. Marc would sometimes ask me if I could do this or that for the little one like cut her food or tie her shoes and every time I did, I could tell it made my BFF uncomfortable and that she was trying really hard to play it down.

The next day we went on a walk with the whole gang: Marc, his three girlfriends, the daughter and me. Marc and Jessie have a pretty hands off parenting style so they weren’t paying much attention to their daughter. But I grew up with three younger siblings so I always kept an eye on her out of habit. After a while I noticed they were looking around looking worried. I asked if they were looking for the little one and they said yes. So I said I knew where she was and went to get her. When I brought her back, they were super relieved obviously. Marc then started showering me with attention and asking me a ton of questions about what I like because he wanted to gift me something as a thank you. My BFF was silent. When Marc was busy doing something else, Nina came to me and started asking me a bunch of questions about what Marc and I had been talking about earlier. I say this in the nicest way possible but she didn’t look well at all. She was talking really fast and laughing nervously a lot. The whole thing made me super uncomfortable.

I get the feeling that there is a big difference between how they describe their relationship and how it actually felt when I got to spend time with them. It seemed to me like there is a clear hierarchy of girlfriends with Jessie at the top, my BFF in the middle and Nina at the bottom. I also got the feeling that Marc will occasionally "delegate" childcare tasks to my BFF and Nina as a way of showing who he likes better. I say this because I noticed a pattern: Every time I would do something to take care of the little one at Marc’s request would then get hyper focused (and frankly kinda flirty) on me, my BFF would get weirdly silent and Nina would seem rather jealous, asking me all these nervous questions. I’ve considered telling my BFF that this is the impression I had but I’m worried that maybe I’m projecting my own subconscious ideas about poly relationships onto theirs. A poly relationship wouldn’t be for me personally but I totally respect hers and I don’t want to meddle in it or be unsupportive. However I did get a weird vibe and some things felt very different from the way she described them.

Should I talk to my friend about this? If so how can I bring it up respectfully?

Credit to the one redditor that accurately describes our antagonist as a creep. He sounds like a manipulative sociopath and any woman dumb enough to fall for this deserves it. Bonus points for anyone stupid enough to bring a child into this mix. It would have been creepy on Big Love even. But who am I to judge that misplacing children and then using the lost child as leverage to get your fuck on is a tad on the reprehensible side of things?

r/polyamory - Lat's talk some unspoken truths: Poly, ENM and HSV (or why my life sucks right now)

84 votes and 64 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

Lat's talk some unspoken truths: Poly, ENM and HSV (or why my life su…

archived 8 Dec 2021 20:08:32 UTC

archive.ph

Spoiler

I just want to vent. But if you have something constructive to say, or a different perspective, feel free.

Here is something I've been wanting to talk about for quite some time. I feel like this doesn't get much attention here, or is just ignored.

I have been practicing poly for many years, it's who I am and it's not going to change. But it sucks right now.

A few months ago I've been diagnosed with HSV-2.

I identify as an "ethical slut" and poly, but a very careful one. I've ALWAYS worn condoms with EVERYONE. Got tested often, and my partners also. And I still got it. Let's face it head-on: if you have sex with multiple people, even with protection, you may catch it as it's transmitted through skin contact.

Recently, my 2 ex-partners broke up with me (for unrelated reasons, it was before the diagnosis), and now I'm single and have an incurable disease. Who the hell is going to want to date me now?? To make matters worse, I am taking suppressive medication (acyclovir) for months, and I still have outbreaks, often!

And I'll always be open about it, so I say it on my profile. No one matches me, no one will go out with me (who would?). I feel disgusting and undesirable. I guess my sex/love life is over and I hate my life right now.

Rant over.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Shocking that fucking random people that are probably on similar wavelengths increases the odds of contracted STDs!

r/polyamory - Sick of poly getting shit on by people “doing” poly but what they’re really doing is cheating.

1,327 votes and 325 comments so far on Reddit

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https://archive.ph/XzxP5

Spoiler

Polyamory is a fucking joke.​

EDIT: Well, this blew up. Thanks for the support, everyone. Appreciate ya. I’m moving on and it felt good to get it all out here. Be good to each other. <3
—
We were married for 15 years. Our marriage was wonderful. She always had problems with mental health but I loved her so much that I was willing to help her with those problems forever. She gave me two beautiful children who I continue to cherish.

18 months ago she wanted to try polyamory and started a relationship with a guy she met online with my enthusiastic support. Three months ago that relationship ended. Three months ago she met another man who she fell in love with. They made plans for him to fly out here and for them to spend a weekend alone in a hotel.

It did not take me long to realize that polyamory wasn’t for me. I had assumed that it would’ve been a group thing but what she wanted was a private relationship with him. I tried my hardest to be OK with it but I could never get around the idea. I put myself through a lot of pain trying to make it happen and I couldn’t.

I told her that I couldn’t do it, crying as hard as I’ve ever cried before, and rather than being comforting for me, she went dead. All she could think about was herself. All she could think about was having to end her relationship with him.

Less than a month later she left me. She said she’s been unhappy for two years. But it seems awfully auspicious that she would say nothing for two years, only to say something once she was unable to have some other guy come over and fuck her.

She didn’t have a job, I supported her and our family. I gave her 15 years of my life, abandoning any dream I might have so that I could work a job that would provide us a stable income. I gave her everything she ever wanted, entertained every hobby, and encouraged every dream she ever had. I was good to her. I was good to our children. I continue to be a fantastic father. But none of that seems to matter to her. All this seems to matter to her is that she get what she wants, no matter the cost, no matter the toll it takes on the people who love her.

I’m seeing other people now, I’ve cleaned up my house, and I’m moving on with my life. Still, however, I find myself incredibly bitter some mornings. I was wronged. She was selfish. And now my family has been cut in half because of it.

The most annoying part of all of this is that she’ll never realize what she really did. She’ll never realize how badly she treated me. She’ll never realize how selfish she’s been.

Polyamory is a fucking joke and it destroyed my relationship with the woman I loved more than anyone else in my entire life. Last night she said she was going to come by and help me put up the Christmas tree with the kids. She stayed at her Airbnb, which her boyfriend is paying for. What a waste of fucking time.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The polyamory sub attempting to "no true scotsman" this dude. For every claim of "poly should be consensual!" there's always the image in my head of that cartoon of someone asking someone to do something while they have another dude holding a gun pointed next to them. I don't know anyone who turned at the same time to their spouse and both said "we should go poly!" Coercion is at the root of the entire conversation.

The dude's story is a classic and none of the brokebrained retards can get off their high-horse and realise that whether the relationship was healthy or not poly was the last straw on the camel's back. Another broken family because someone just had to coom at all costs.

And last but not least, some decent rage fodder on yet another BPD type using poly as a shield to get her fuck on:

r/polyamory - Does anyone remember this post a while back? 11/08/2021 - Well I was the partner in this story

28 votes and 27 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

Does anyone remember this post a while back? 11/08/2021 - Well I was …

archived 8 Dec 2021 20:23:01 UTC

archive.ph

Spoiler

I found this post the day I caught her cheating on me. Yes, she cheated on me and is using being "poly" as an excuse to justify her actions. She isn't poly. She's a fucking coward. A liar. She posted this 3 days prior asking you all for advice but we never had an honest conversation about this or our relationship at all. She said she was going to have dinner with a guy who was going to be a good fit for one of our female friends. She had dinner at the restaurant that she works at. Where everyone knows who I am and knew we were engaged to get married.

Then she says she was going to have drinks with this fucking douche bag and I was like, what? Why? But then basically she fucked him When I caught her red-handed, she basically says she is poly but wasn't willing to drop the person she cheated me with so that we can explore this together. Even to this day she is probably seeing the guy and telling everyone she is poly. I know for a fact she is not. She still has not to this day was unable to have an open and honest discussion with me. I basically left her and moved.

I feel like such an idiot for being strung along and wasting 5 years of my life with this person. I loved her so much. We weren't perfect. I wasn't perfect but what the fuck. She says she was unhappy. There are many times I was unhappy but did I lie and FUCK someone else in the process? NO... I did my best and I made a lot of mistakes. She says she communicated with me about the things that bothered her but she didn't properly communicate. She would say " you're playing too many games" - that is her way of saying she addressed the problem and tried. It would be very different if she said " I think you're playing too many games and it's taking away from our quality time." If she said this as an example I would have been very receptive and have realized she was right. She complained about me neglecting her when she used to do that to me all the time in the past when Genshin Impact came out... I was neglected... and what did I do? I was just by her side and let her play because it made her happy. and her being happy made me happy.

She used to say "you used to work out? what happened?" is her way of telling me I should have cont. to work out. She did compromise and said that if I started working out she would work out with me. I did. I started to work out but did she ever join me? No.. I can go on and on but the point is... she broke me. She made me feel worthless. Like trash. I felt guilty for what she did. She shows no sign of remorse. I realized, after about a month of trying to heal, she was only an illusion. Fake.

She has lost a lot of friends in the process for what she did and I didn't have to convince them of anything. I still cared and loved her which is why I left half of my furniture to her, but also because I didn't want anything that will remind me of her at my new place, she also owed me money but she comes back by bringing up old scores how I didn't pay for gas when we were together, How I needed to fix a key fob for her car because I dropped it by accident - it's the fucking spare key. What about the money I lost for the fucking ring I bought you when you were the one who asked to get married? What about the money I let you keep for what you owed me for more than half the shit I bought for our place? the times I took care of you when you were in the hospital? took you to your doctor's appointment for your heart condition? the times I worked hours and hours so that I can try to give you the life wanted? etc. etc. etc. anyways.

She decided to delete this post because I know she is ashamed. but whatever. It's because you got caught. I told her recently that I love her but I also hate her. My emotions have been toying with me recently because I am thinking about the good and the bad times but this... this cheating, lying, and her bull shit excuses, have recently been trumping it all. I feel like such a fucking idiot. Even now as I am posting this. What shit show this has been. Another one in the books for me. Another trauma I have to live with for the rest of my life.

Thank you everyone for your help, insight, thoughts, and honesty. Whether they are good or bad, I am just looking to learn and grow from this.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I checked in on that webcomic again:
View attachment 2751627View attachment 2751629

90% of this comic is clip studio assets. It's killing me. Why fucking bother getting into drawing if you can't be assed to draw most of your shit. Something also tells me that the shoe is traced from a 3d model.

90% of the writing seems to just be the princess gloating about having a harem and being untouchable. It's so fucking boring, irl poly stories are filled with conflict and character arcs that this doesn't have (see: this thread).

 

[NoReturn]

90% of this comic is clip studio assets. It's killing me. Why fucking bother getting into drawing if you can't be assed to draw most of your shit. Something also tells me that the shoe is traced from a 3d model.

90% of the writing seems to just be the princess gloating about having a harem and being untouchable. It's so fucking boring, irl poly stories are filled with conflict and character arcs that this doesn't have (see: this thread).

Slightly off topic, but I'd love to see these comics and similar ones like people like you. It's always fun to see breakdowns of things of which I am completely unaware.
e.g. The asset store stuff, apparently also there's a teacup that's in ever webtoon, etc.

 

[DumbDude42]

Credit to the one redditor that accurately describes our antagonist as a creep. He sounds like a manipulative sociopath and any woman dumb enough to fall for this deserves it.

he's treating them like expendable side chicks, which is exactly what they are. dude has to be pretty high on the chad scale for them to put up with the situation for such a long time.

 

[Retired Junta Member]

That's the structure of a huge portion of poly relationships, straight male and bisexual women. I guess because he's not threatened by his girlfriend/wife fucking other women but he would feel threatened were she to fuck other men.

Being a “bisexual girl” is also something akin to a badge of honour in some circles: there’s a good amount of women larping as bi because it’s 2000s chic and they never got over they high school days. Two bi girls and a straight guy is ideal movie relationship.

 

[Inebriated Raccoon]

dude has to be pretty high on the chad scale for them to put up with the situation for such a long time.

Or the women are incredibly low on the self-esteem scale and believe that this arrangement is the best that they can do. Or it could be both!

 

[hash-slinging slasher]

he's treating them like expendable side chicks, which is exactly what they are. dude has to be pretty high on the chad scale for them to put up with the situation for such a long time.

You'd be fucking shocked. He could be a 10, but both women and men have tripped all over themselves for 3s and 2s a million times before. Love is a horrible emotion.

It happens in every community but is ESPECIALLY blatant in cities in my experience. Imagine black and hispanic women with big asses, big titties, always dressed up to look their best even when just going to the store, who work, and who have their own place. I've seen them chase and cry after jobless effeminate 1.5/10 felons who have huge harems of women they're cheating on. The "main" chick in this cheater harems is the one bankrolling it all while crying herself to sleep at night.

Thankfully it seems to be getting a little less common as the smart women are finally letting themselves get picked up by working "corny" men instead of dooming themselves to permanent battered wife syndrome over the ugliest men you've ever seen.

 

[RainbowStarlight]

 

[FeatherPlucker]

That's the structure of a huge portion of poly relationships, straight male and bisexual women. I guess because he's not threatened by his girlfriend/wife fucking other women but he would feel threatened were she to fuck other men.

It seems as if many gay male relationships are poly by rule rather than exception.
Personally, I wouldn't get involved with a bisexual dude if I were a bisexual woman.
I figure most men are "once you chase dick, you'll always chase dick"-- it's just easier to get no strings attached sex with men if you're a man who's into men and women.
Involving kids in the whole poly mess is insane. Trying to force a child to call some random person "mom" or "dad" is also teaching them that they must trust and obey any random adult mom and dad dates... opening them up sexual abuse from predators.

 

[FUUKA]

View attachment 2807631

if you're concerned about mental illness, then maybe go back to dating monogamous

the average person probably has more mental stability than all of your boyfriends combined

 

[Captain Asspats]

if you're concerned about mental illness, then maybe go back to dating monogamous

the average person probably has more mental stability than all of your boyfriends combined

Also not to mention that it usually takes time until Partner A has fully learned how to deal with Partner B's illness.
Now try to do this with 3+ partners simultaneously.
Have fun with that future mental breakdown.

 

[Unhindered Clown]

View attachment 2807631

Go monogamous, break up with boyfriend who has terrible judgement, or get a restraining order if they're legit menaces to society. Never stick your dick in crazy.

Makes me wonder how many poly people have BPD or similar mental illnesses. How many of them are actually not poly but just have personal hangups of some sort they need a therapist to unpack for them? So many seem to be super avoidant or put themselves in a neverending cycle of having multiple partners yet feeling less important to their spouse as a result. Bonus if the needy one was the one who pushed for an open relationship to begin with.

 

[hash-slinging slasher]

"Come on, babe, stop being unreasonable! She's a nice person, she just wants to kill people is all!"