Containment Random Chris Updates

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The public defender denied Caden's request for defense based on the grounds that Caden had $18,500 in savings.
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Caden appealed the decision by claiming that he cannot access the savings because he is jail and doesn't have friends and family to obtain the money:
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The court for some reason ruled in favor of Caden:
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Also the court for another reason reset Caden's bond to ROR (Release on Recognizance) which he means he didn't have to pay the $50,000 bond if he agreed with a signature promising to return to court for all scheduled appearances.
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Musashi's Son said:
The public defender denied Caden's request for defense based on the grounds that Caden had $18,500 in savings.
View attachment 5532048ni
Caden appealed the decision by claiming that he cannot access the savings because he is jail and doesn't have friends and family to obtain the money:
View attachment 5532046
The court for some reason ruled in favor of Caden:
View attachment 5532053
Also the court for another reason reset Caden's bond to ROR (Release on Recognizance) which he means he didn't have to pay the $50,000 bond if he agreed with a signature promising to return to court for all scheduled appearances.
View attachment 5532063
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Nice handwriting.

I guess Caden has severed his ties with his relations. Geez kid, at least get through your twenties first.
 
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Tennis-Ball-Tony said:
Yeah this pivoting is an amazing turn.

What's doubly funny, is if Caden is growing illicit drugs in Big Island, and using Chris as a Tardshield like the evil Ricks use tormented Mortys to hide themselves, even if it's busted with Chris there, Chris could still get completely off with the Virginia Tard Law, as long as he doesn't kill anyone or forcibly rape anyone.

Caden locking him down means there's always somewhere there to watch over things while he's out doing whatever. Big Island also doesn't have its own police force, and relies on the VA State Police, which aren't exactly common in that area, no doubt purposefully picked due to Caden's run in with Jerkops in Missouri.

Feed in a whole lot of "Okay Chris, you have to keep things secret and people away from here, because they're all trolls! Don't let anyone in here or bring anyone back!", and you've got yourself a somewhat reliable Watchtard.
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I have to wonder, assuming this whole thing about Chris unwittingly being the housesitter for a drug growing operation is true, just how long Caden's been planning this through Preator. It would have to have been relatively recent, within the past two or so years, since there's no way Chris would have agreed to move out of 14BC aka 'the Sonichu Temple' if he hadn't been legally forced to vacate the premises in the aftermath of his stint in jail.

But I will be surprised if there isn't something more going on here, like a drug operation Chris is unwittingly the live-in watchman for. It explains so much about why Caden would buy a shitbox like that in the middle of nowhere and the only use its getting is to house a socially maladapted motherfucker making etsy shit.
 
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D is for Stupid said:
Darn, it is caden!


Here's him before smoking glass dicks

Edit: correction, I thought he was trying to be Walter white but instead he's breaking retard with shrooms. How much water was he using? You don't need that much!
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Even as a high schooler he looks like a middle aged dike.

It's amazing what a little physical fitness and proper fitting clothes can do to change your appearance from gross lady to passable man.
 
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Can we be sure that Caden isn’t an FTM? Because goddamn, that’s some lesbo looking dude.

Chris being the tard talisman of a mushroom grow op would be perfect for his level of gullibility and slow-of-mind-ness.

Pretty sure that DARE hammered enough lessons into his head at middle school to make Chris run squealing to the cops if he started to see bricks of cocaine changing hands, but mushrooms shouldnt be hard to minimize for his tard-wrangler.

“It’s just mushrooms Chr-eh-Sonichu! You know like the ones Mario eats! People pay good money for them since they taste good! Now remember, you’re allergic to them so you can’t eat them. And don’t mention them to anyone because the trolls will come and steal them for their lulz, ok?!”
 
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Fapcop said:
Pretty sure that DARE hammered enough lessons into his head at middle school to make Chris run squealing to the cops if he started to see bricks of cocaine changing hands, but mushrooms shouldnt be hard to minimize for his tard-wrangler.
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I highly doubt this.

Remember Chris was like that early on, parroting all the stuff that he was told like "homosexuality is bad", "alcohol is bad", etc. etc.

And then he decided to actually try these things (not the homosexuality, he just calls himself a lesbian because he wants to be a woman) and his opinion did a full 180 on everything because he found he enjoyed the stuff.

If Chris was given the white substance to try (and was told it was special candy or some shit that lets him go to CWCestria or whatever), and then after he tried it he was told it was cocaine, there's not a chance in hell Chris wouldn't start singing the praises of cocaine for opening his mind or whatever.

I can only imagine it's a matter of time before Caden decides to try getting Chris on the weed in the basement - if that is what's happening - and proposes to Chris that his etsy share be paid in fucking plants instead of money.
 
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Optimus Prime said:
I highly doubt this.

Remember Chris was like that early on, parroting all the stuff that he was told like "homosexuality is bad", "alcohol is bad", etc. etc.

And then he decided to actually try these things (not the homosexuality, he just calls himself a lesbian because he wants to be a woman) and his opinion did a full 180 on everything because he found he enjoyed the stuff.

If Chris was given the white substance to try (and was told it was special candy or some shit that lets him go to CWCestria or whatever), and then after he tried it he was told it was cocaine, there's not a chance in hell Chris wouldn't start singing the praises of cocaine for opening his mind or whatever.

I can only imagine it's a matter of time before Caden decides to try getting Chris on the weed in the basement - if that is what's happening - and proposes to Chris that his etsy share be paid in fucking plants instead of money.
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Lordie I hope we get an arc where Chris gets hooked on crack cocaine and hits the pipe in every one of his videos.

It’s not super likely, but again: Nobody would have believed Chris would pork Barb, yet here we are!
 
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Merton J. Dingle said:
Imagine being in your early 20s and already having a life that is so needlessly complex. Everything about this retard screams cow. Honestly, I'm starting to think that anyone that willingly associates with Chris now is guaranteed to be a cow themselves.
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This of it this way: You have to be some sort of special to want to milk a mentally ill person for money/clout.
 
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Fapcop said:
Lordie I hope we get an arc where Chris gets hooked on crack cocaine and hits the pipe in every one of his videos.

It’s not super likely, but again: Nobody would have believed Chris would pork Barb, yet here we are!
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I feel it is only a matter of time before Chris tries illegal drugs in his neverending and kind of increasingly desperate quest to have life become Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Though I think cocaine is just going to have him start seeing life through a 'Yellow submarine' filter. We'll know if he starts shouting about how the Blue Meanie is Satan.
 
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Merton J. Dingle said:
Imagine being in your early 20s and already having a life that is so needlessly complex. Everything about this retard screams cow. Honestly, I'm starting to think that anyone that willingly associates with Chris now is guaranteed to be a cow themselves.
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Chris stopped being a gullible but at least marginally likeable and harmless oaf back in the mid 2000s. So who else other than cows would willing and unironically want to hang out with a 41 year old unemployed mentally disabled person with a criminal history longer than the time that some of these people have been alive for?
 
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I kinda hope whatever ween has his ear lately introduces him to sovereign citizens and “right to travel”.

It’s exactly the kind pseudo logical Mumbai jumbo that would make perfect sense to Chris, and it really speaks to his entitlement.

I’d love a video of him explaining to a baffled trooper that neither him nor Sonichu were driving, they were traveling and that his license plates were made by a higher authority: Himself.
 
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