Containment Random Chris Updates

[Alex Krycek]

I’m probably alone on this, but Chris’s face still looks childlike to me. Lack of exposure to sunlight and HRT has the side effect of making your skin look clearer, but in Chris’s case it looks unnatural and creepy.

That being said, if you compare face pics of him from 2013 to now, he looks a lot less “beat up”. You can definitely tell he was at his absolute rock bottom back then
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He definitely looks about the same weight, but with better skin and let’s from what we can see. Could also be he learned to apply makeup better from watching videos and studying though.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Here are some old Discord caps from Ben Saint a few months ago. He discussed the Slime/Night Star comic and how he was walking on eggshells to keep Chris's interest in it and how Chris would keep trying to rescue the characters the moment anything bad happened to them.

Also mentioned how Chris tried to pressure him into promoting the TSSSF cards.

Spoiler: Caps

 

[Argh My Cigar]

He definitely looks about the same weight, but with better skin and let’s from what we can see. Could also be he learned to apply makeup better from watching videos and studying though.

That’s possible, but estrogen also has an effect on your skin by reducing collagen loss, while high testosterone levels have been linked to oily skin and acne breakouts. Chris’s diet probably played a huge role in his skin’s premature aging, but his pent-up sexual frustration could have also contributed to his constant greasiness.

Even so, being overweight makes anyone look older and I’m really curious to see if there are any hidden cheekbones or something resembling a slight jawline buried underneath all that pudge

 

[FrickleMyPickle]

If he had picked Unsweet Tea I’d have actually said “Okay well that’s an improvement”, Unsweet Iced Tea is kind of my go to drink.

However Sweet Tea especially in the Southern States is so fucking loaded with Sugar he might as well just be drinking a soda that might have some antioxidants still in it and less artificial preservatives. I’m not going to sit down and do a table to find out how sugar is in McDonalds Sweet Tea compared to like Mountain Dew or Pepsi but I imagine the difference is negligible.

Internet says it actually is an improvement even sweetened; 32 grams of sugar in a large McDonalds sweet tea versus 80 in a large coke. I'm honestly surprised.

 

[Tikbalang]

Internet says it actually is an improvement even sweetened; 32 grams of sugar in a large McDonalds sweet tea versus 80 in a large coke. I'm actually surprised.

It's better to cut off sugar in general if he wants to look setsy

 

[Argh My Cigar]

It's better to cut off sugar in general if he wants to look setsy

Has Chris ever gone a day without sugar? Or drinking only water? I seriously hope he doesn’t rely on a 24 pack of Dr. Pepper to quench his thirst. A lot of his loitering back during his early days of e-infamy involved taking advantage of unlimited refills at the food court for hours. The amount of sugar he was imbibing on a daily basis must have been stupidly high.

 

[Tikbalang]

Has Chris ever gone a day without sugar? Or drinking only water? I seriously hope he doesn’t rely on a 24 pack of Dr. Pepper to quench his thirst. A lot of his loitering back during his early days of e-infamy involved taking advantage of unlimited refills at the food court for hours. The amount of sugar he was imbibing on a daily basis must have been stupidly high.

How womanly of her drinking more than 2 liters of sugary drinks. That's how Megan Fox maintains her body

 

[Chamulum]

Has Chris ever gone a day without sugar? Or drinking only water? I seriously hope he doesn’t rely on a 24 pack of Dr. Pepper to quench his thirst. A lot of his loitering back during his early days of e-infamy involved taking advantage of unlimited refills at the food court for hours. The amount of sugar he was imbibing on a daily basis must have been stupidly high.

That would probably explain a lot of his erratic behaviors. Has he even heard of water? How the hell has he not managed to get beetus by this point?

 

[The American Hedgehog]

(strokes chin...)

Or, perhaps more likely, he's at least realised that he still can't. Eyebrows Quinn wasn't that long ago, and he still fell for that hook, line and sinker. Maybe it wasn't just coincidence that he set up his imaginary harem soon afterwards. Figments of your imagination can never double-cross or dump you, unless you're a really committed masochist.

That seems too introspective for Chris. He didn't even come up with the imaginary harem - the Idea Guys did. They told him he was married to Magi-Chan and some character they made up and he believed it as readily as when Quinn and every other sweetheart told him she was into him.

It is interesting though, I remember him really kinda counting on Quinn to rescue him from the gloomy post-barb future he’s heading towards. Him being less interested in a sexual relationship is understandable due to his age, health and tittyskittles, but it’s kinda disconcerting that he stopped looking for Mommy 2.0, which he actually needs.

His imaginary harem is the replacement Barb. He'll be in CWCville and hanging out with them there by the time she croaks.

 

[Alex Krycek]

Has Chris ever gone a day without sugar? Or drinking only water? I seriously hope he doesn’t rely on a 24 pack of Dr. Pepper to quench his thirst. A lot of his loitering back during his early days of e-infamy involved taking advantage of unlimited refills at the food court for hours. The amount of sugar he was imbibing on a daily basis must have been stupidly high.

If memory serves he at least drinks a couple glasses of water a day. What that entails could be as small as a plastic cup from Goodwill though. He never really elaborated.

He also claims vegetables and fruits are the bulk of his diet. But he seems to particularly like Bananas (which is ironic given pickles) and the ones grown in North America at least have a higher sugar content than those found elsewhere (though that wasn’t initially intentional on either count of sugar content of bananas or Chris’ diet).

However I could see that being the case that he doesn’t eat fries and has a side salad instead at McDonalds with his burger thinking that makes it better, which I guess it might if he didn’t add in any meat or ranch or whatever.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

However I could see that being the case that he doesn’t eat fries and has a side salad instead

Didn’t he pour a shitload of soy sauce on his fries thinking it would accelerate his troonout? Since according to Chris, soy = estrogen = magic china growth serum.

 

[Tikbalang]

Didn’t he pour a shitload of soy sauce on his fries thinking it would accelerate his troonout? Since according to Chris, soy = estrogen = magic china growth serum.

I eat things that have soy sauce in it. Soy Sauce and Fries are not meant to be compatible, it's gross. And I get what titty skittles mean.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

Here are some old Discord caps from Ben Saint a few months ago. He discussed the Slime/Night Star comic and how he was walking on eggshells to keep Chris's interest in it and how Chris would keep trying to rescue the characters the moment anything bad happened to them.

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Also mentioned how Chris tried to pressure him into promoting the TSSSF cards.

Spoiler: Caps

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Pwahahaha! Just look at this wanker, he tries to troll Chris (in a very faggotty way) but ends up all triggered himself and with Chris bossing him around.

 

[Rupin]

Pwahahaha! Just look at this wanker, he tries to troll Chris (in a very faggotty way) but ends up all triggered himself and with Chris bossing him around.

He's a soy boy in the truest sense of the words. The type that considers himself the wokest guy in the room. He had a prime opportunity to become an internet legend and instead he chose to virtue signal .

 

[Brian Butterfield]

He's a soy boy in the truest sense of the words. The type that considers himself the wokest guy in the room. He had a prime opportunity to become an internet legend and instead he chose to virtue signal .

All in all he's just a
'nother dick with no balls

 

[Mason Verger]

His imaginary harem is the replacement Barb. He'll be in CWCville and hanging out with them there by the time she croaks.

And that’s exactly what’s disconcerting about it. Pre idea guys he at least had the wherewithal to realize that he really needs to consider a plan B for his future. Obviously it’s absurd for him to think he’ll just find a fuck-mommy to take him and all his crap in, but at least it was a plan that had a foot in reality. Just a few months later and he’s fully entrenched in merge lore.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

I agree. Also, I think only a homosexual male would be foolish to have sex with Chris Chan and he would only do it for the sake of becoming famous online. I’m actually glad that females are not willing to have sex with Chris Chan for the sake of becoming online famous. Sockness was willing to actually have sexual relations with Chris Chan however Chris got scared and told him to turn around and not to come. However, with a female troll Chris would want to have sex with her.

females will have sex with men for money, but im glad female trolls don’t have sex with Chris Chan to try and become famous. Even going on a fake date with Chris was a little harmful to a females soul it seems so sex would really be terrible for the female troll.

Anyone, male or female, who has sex with Chris for the "prestige" is objectively a bigger lolcow than him.

 

[Tikbalang]

Anyone, male or female, who has sex with Chris for the "prestige" is objectively a bigger lolcow than him.

It'll be worth it

 

[A Grey Cat]

Around this time last year he was self-aware enough to participate in a brony babes weight loss challenge.

I still find it hilarious that the basis of his “diet” was just replacing soda with McDonald’s sweet tea.

His sweet tooth is so strong he couldn't start drinking unsweet. Tea itself could have been a small improvement if he replaced his soda intake with it, but it can't have any sugar or sweetener.

 

[Nypical Haterade Comment]

After 20+ years of being trolled relentlessly by the world including himself it's astounding he's not completely paranoid about any and all relationships.

It speaks much to the resilliance imparted to him by the 'tism that he's not alot more fucked up then he already is, tbph.

You have people like DSP who’s have spent less time on the internet than Chris who’ve had nowhere near the amount of trolling done to them. Whereas DSP has become a paranoid hermit who only leaves his house once a week, Chris has become arguably more open and trusting of people. It’s as they say: au.tism is a hell of a drug.