Random Scenarios - Make up a random scenario and the person below you has to answer it

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Bloodrage said:
You hear the Rape Dwarf crawling in your walls. Soon it shall have it's feast. What do?
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Blast my shotgun into the wall randomly until I hear his helium sounding voice give out cries of pain.
Pull him out of the wall and torture him with a knife until he tells me where his gold is.
 
Lip Glossary said:
Blast my shotgun into the wall randomly until I hear his helium sounding voice give out cries of pain.
Pull him out of the wall and torture him with a knife until he tells me where his gold is.
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Okay, now what?

No scenario, so now it's my turn.

You're sitting at the table with four of your friends and a large pizza. There's one slice left, but another friend is eying that slice. What do you do?
 
The Last Stand said:
You're sitting at the table with four of your friends and a large pizza. There's one slice left, but another friend is eying that slice. What do you do?
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I vomit on the slice to mark it as my property.

You're stuck on a blind date with King Assripper. Will you survive?
 
Bloodrage said:
I vomit on the slice to mark it as my property.

You're stuck on a blind date with King Assripper. Will you survive?
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No. I don't even know who that is.

You're a popular socialite attending a dinner party. You encounter Marlene Dietrich. She gives you her number for a little "private time." What would you expect from her and how would you respond?
 
The Last Stand said:
No. I don't even know who that is.

You're a popular socialite attending a dinner party. You encounter Marlene Dietrich. She gives you her number for a little "private time." What would you expect from her and how would you respond?
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I would respond by waiting for the drugs to ease up as MD has been dead for 30+ years, so I must be hallucinating. Otherwise, the night ends per usual—me jacking-off to videos of women rolling around in piles of Purina dog chow and kibbles 'n bits. Nothing unusual there. The "private" aspect means I refrain from doing it outside the local middle school.

You're arrested and to get out of being in jail, you're given two choices: your eyes are gouged out and you're forced to copulate with your mother (or father, if you're a lady) at least once per day for a year before you're released or you receive $10 million tax-free, no bodily harm, and you're free to leave that same day.

Which choice do you make and how will you cope with life after losing your eyesight?
 
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