Containment Random Thoughts & Questions

Holdek said:
Does Chris not have a PS4 due to his recent money issues? Or is he just content with the PS3?
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I think it's the latter for me, considering he seems to be content with the PS3 games he have currently (Skylanders SWAP Force), and still buys new games for his Life Upgrade. (LEGO Movie Videogame)

Anyway, for the controversial post by Chris on Facebook that he had sex, I think these points made on the talk page on Da Update tempalte would explain the question "Why the post is genuine?" much better:

Why would he lie now? He's always had the option to claim he's had sex in the past and he's never done it. Also, he's attempted to hire prostitutes before in the past. He fucked up before and they hung up on him, but if you keep trying at something, you'll probably eventually succeed. That's what happened here. He thought he was going to die in jail, so he didn't want to die a virgin. Desperation. Now, the only fact I am verifying is that Chris had sex. The rest is full of exaggerations and poor wording because Chris is a retard and can't write. Canine

Chris never claimed that he had sex with Chloe. He did claim that they kissed and that was it. Same with Wallflower. Canine brings up a good point, though. Why would Chris lie now when he had hundreds of chances to lie in the past? Furthermore, there is nothing to suggest that Chris denies having fucked a hooker. Finally, it makes complete sense for the prostitute to feed his ego. After all, she's got to make money somehow, and she isn't going to make it by refusing to fuck a fatman with a tiny bent dick.--MoarLurk

One thing about Chris is that he's always quick to forget or abandon his lies. If there's really no other evidence that it's real, the best test is probably just waiting a little while and seeing if he abandons it. Not that I expect that he will. I don't think we need to keep it off the wiki, either. You guys saying "this is really from Chris" has always been good enough in the past. I just think we should keep it as "Chris said he lost his virginity" for a little longer. - Freecell

 
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IIRC from the past discussions, an unnamed friend hired the prostitute for Chris.
 
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Varis said:
IIRC from the past discussions, an unnamed friend hired the prostitute for Chris.
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Who? Anyone who could be considered his "Friend" would be a female, and I don't see them giving up their dignity by setting up a prostitute for their desperate friend.

And if any of his friends are male, (or JERKS) they would be from church… No Religious church-goer would look into setting up a hooker for their desperate friend.

I think Chris just went out in Son-Chu dressed as Carlos Chantor and spouted off the lines he heard from Grand Theft Auto games to the women who clearly walk the streets.
 
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Henry Bemis said:
That was quite a silly and pointless discussion, especially when there are so many other things about the situation that are ripe for ridicule.
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Yeah, such as him taking what she said about his dick at face value… man, all Hookers say those things.

"I'm smiling for hours" (with mirth :tomgirl:)
"I put together a gift basket to show appreciation"
"Now ladies, I don't kiss and tell"

I know that through most of the event, Chris was just being an unassertive, unconfident, stationary, shaky twat reacting poorly to the first time a girl touches him.
 
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Mogambo said:
I agree. Call me a skeptic, but I doubt Chris actually hired a prostitute. All we have is Chris' word, and he isn't exactly a bastion of honesty. If nothing else, he strikes me as too much of a pussy to actually go through with it all. More likely, he's still a virgin with (impotent) rage.
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I tend to trust Christorian figures like Marvin, who has always expressed a lot of certainty that this happened. They have pretty much always been reliable when they say something is a fact, and have also said they don't know when they don't.

For all most of us know, the whole existence of Chris could be an elaborate hoax. In order to follow him, we have to accept certain sources as reliable.
 
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Chris hired a prostitute, had a night with her, and did the old in-out, in-out, sure. I believe all that.

What I DON'T believe is that Chris did it properly. There's a lot of details missing. How eager was he to go for it? Did he stall? Perhaps its best these details remain untouched, however.

If Chris can have sex twice, then I'll be satisfied.
 
Since this seems to be the bi-weekly "Did he fuck a hooker" bit I figure I'll throw out my reasons.
1- Marvin confirmed and he's pretty reliable. Considering his track record I will give him the benefit of the doubt.

2- It's funny. He was afraid of dying in jail and planned to starve himself to death while behind the walls. So he bought a hooker, lost his virginity (but is still a cultural virgin) and believed her random bullshit about it being amazing. As a cherry on top he bought her a gift basket with the help of his mother. This shit is hilarious and totally fits in with the general feeling of failure that permeates every bit of Chris' life. As far as I'm concerned it's official continuity on entertainment value alone.
 
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Holdek said:
Does Chris not have a PS4 due to his recent money issues? Or is he just content with the PS3?
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It's mostly the latter. If he wanted a PS4, he'd get a PS4. :tomgirl:

Getting a place to live? Making rent? Eh, that's kinda iffy. But ensuring that he's got his video game fix? He'll break his neck trying to get his vidya. Heh, when he got his second PS3, he pawned stuff to get the cash.

TrippinKahlua said:
Chris hired a prostitute, had a night with her, and did the old in-out, in-out, sure. I believe all that.

What I DON'T believe is that Chris did it properly. There's a lot of details missing. How eager was he to go for it? Did he stall? Perhaps its best these details remain untouched, however.

If Chris can have sex twice, then I'll be satisfied.
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Oh definitely. The whole success of the operation relied on that the hooker knew what she was doing. Fatty was just his usual, stumbling self.
 
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Marvin said:
It's mostly the latter. If he wanted a PS4, he'd get a PS4.
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Yep. He'd move mountains to get one if he really wanted one. I think the thing not being backwards-compatible with his 800 PS3 games may have turned him off, but then again, that might not even be a factor.

DrChristianTroy said:
cultural virgin
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We might avoid a lot of repeat conversations if we just have the forum wordfilter that to "loser".
 
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Chenny! said:
what if it was though
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I don't think OPL has ever actually concidered the possibility that he could die. Clearly blessing the world with Sonichu was such a nobel act that any reward short of eternal life would be a kick in the teeth.
 
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Alec Benson Leary said:
So long as there remains even one moron who uses it legitimately, we must remain vigilant.
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Dare i ask what a cultural virgin is?

Drawets Rednaxela said:
I don't think OPL has ever actually concidered the possibility that he could die. Clearly blessing the world with Sonichu was such a nobel act that any reward short of eternal life would be a kick in the teeth.
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Based on what the folks here who know him best say, such as him not understanding infantile self awareness, i find it very possible his own mortality has never dawned on him. Combine that with the fact he probably sees himself as ageless...may e he does think he is immortal.
 
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Marvin said:
Yeah, that the cwckiforum people are normal people, and not the cliche's Chris is imagining, bothers him. He might have to accept that doesn't have anything up on the trolls, and that really bothers him.

I'd really love to tweak Chris with this fact, it'd be lots of fun.
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The fact that he's even tacitly acknowledged he understands this is a tweak by itself. It's pretty hard to get Chris to admit that the world is anything other than what he wants it to be.
 
Chikinballs said:
Dare i ask what a cultural virgin is?
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Long story short, people debated whether Chris banged a hooker. General consensus was yes. People still tried to shit on him for it by saying "He didn't actually love this woman so he didn't REALLY lose his virginity. His cultural virginity."

Because having to pay for sex wasn't enough to mock him.
 
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