They want to commit real life violence really, really badly but can only go so far as posturing.
Having seen a real neo-Nazi IRL recently, I can safely say that if the dude I saw was any indication of your average neo-Nazi, your average Tumblr user would get fucking murdered if they tried shit IRL.
I know I was terrified. Part of the reason I've been against violence against these thugs is the fear of retaliatory violence. A lot of these guys aren't going to listen to reason, and are probably just looking for reasons to kick somebody's shit in. A dangerhair's main weapon is how loud they can screech; they're pretty useless once blows start being exchanged. And God help me, as much as I have disdain for them, the last thing I want is for them to get beaten to death by a dude with white pride facial tattoos.
I'm all for engaging people in conversations but as far as hardcore neo-Nazis go, they're too far gone for me to do shit and I sure as hell won't do that shit IRL because they scary motherfuckers. I am against punching these people because I want to save the lives of these idiot internet commies who are soft and doughy and couldn't punch their way out of a wet paper bag.
Unfortunately, the area I used to live in was fucking littered with Peckerwoods. Your experience is pretty standard. The only real variation is exactly how tweaked out any individual AN member is, which just makes them even less stable and even more likely to hurt someone.
See, the issue here is that when Tumblr kids say "literal Nazis", what they actually mean is "political reactionaries and neckbeards". Actual, dyed in the wool, Aryan Nation motherfuckers? They are organized, they are heavily armed, they control half the meth trade in the country, and they will fuck your eyes out of the sockets the second you so much as speak to them wrong.
There have already been a few instances of people getting jumped for espousing BLM support or ANTIFA shit. The thought that ANTIFA is capable of handling real, actual white supremacy groups is so dangerously naive, it's terrifying.
This sort of ideology tends to run in a family, and a lot of AN guys are the children of AN guys. You will not win a violent confrontation with them because they are violent racist sociopaths who have been raised by violent racist sociopaths to be the most violent and most racist sociopaths possible.
These people have lived a life of drugs and violence, most had been to prison before you had your first blowjob, and nobody who has an aesthetic blog has any business within 5 miles of them.
Honestly, I share your fear. Telling regular people that they can go out and fight white supremacy gangs is just a recipe for someone to get killed, and my money is that it won't be the guy with a string of felony charges and an assault rifle in every room of his house.