Random.txt Horoscopes - Scientifically more credible than regular horoscopes

[Disgruntled Pupper]

Past: i dont even know whats going on i was just looking at boy tits
Present:I am xalver nick, I am planing on making troll art to demonstrate and pratice my skills before i go further.
Future: Abortion—I say borty, a fun thing to do when you're feeling spörty
Man, I can't afford an abortion right now

 

[Super Shiro]

Past: ”trolling doesn't really hurt lolcows. they get angry but they pick up the pieces from their anger. the wrong pronouns are basically telling trans that their identity is not valid.”
Present: ”Photography or sniper rifle? How should I know?”
Future: ”how can i take a cwiki forum down?”

I can't exactly piece them all together, but it looks like I'll be joining the second #DropKiwifarms campaign in the future. It was fun to be on your side while it lasted!

 

[Lemmingwiser]

THE PAST
”just a bunch of idiots who never get out of the house”

THE PRESENT
”SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL.”

THE FUTURE
“Cw: rape exorcism”

Terrifying future. There's a story arc there.

 

[Pedophobe]

eh???

You're trooning out I'm afraid.

 

[Forgetful Kiwi]

Past: "Supper will be popcorn"
Present: ”It's basically a social media site for school shooters”
Future: ”Elliot Rodger was right about many of these things but unfortunately never managed to understand the problem the way I did – had he been given a chance to do so he might still be alive."

Not looking so good guys.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

1. ”he calls himself *cat party* to sound cute and fun. but he's a sick evil freak”
2. ”I thought you would be pleased with this article.”
3. *I put your dick in my mouth and do a very good job in that aspect of the scenario*

Well that escalated quickly.

 

[I've Seen Some More Shit]

Refresh 1:

”i fear for my life every day because trump won't give me money for me to waste on striped socks, used panties and a webcam to show the world how girly i am”

Refresh 2:

“i am a lover and a builder too
“of rape.”

Refresh 3:

”FUCK YOU NULL IM NEVER GONNA STOP BEING A FURRY UR JUST A FUCKING HATER U NIGGER”

Ill portents today.

 

[CockPockets]

”There is literally no hope for you kiwi whores scum of the earth, there is no saving you and you can only be dealth with in the most violent way imaginable.”
”So he's into weird, depraved shit. That's pretty much half our userbase. Where is the funny stuff?”
“boo hoo hoo my mom and dad were right about sodomy boo hoo hoo”

 

[AbyssGazer]

Trying again.

Past: Oh, My Gosh! What the hell has been screwing your mind up? Weed? Basement Loneliness? WTFH is Wrong with You?!

Present: Discuss.

Future: I'm thinking about getting into cutting.

Things aren't looking bright frens...

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

1: man if I had an autistic kid, I'd mock the shit out of them. (Yea that tracks)
2: whorephobic (??)
3: it wasn't suicide, it was kiwifarms.

Well that's... okay then.

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

This was a late night impulsive decision but the results of this are hilarious. Thanks for participating!

 

[Saint Agustin]

Past: ”Do not make fun of the ill”

Present: ”Jesus heavens. I wake up to find Phil Harel is dead...”

Future: ”Yeah I truecrypt all my Chris content and only go to the CWCki via tor”

So, I became a paranoid bastard according to this. Good arc though.

 

[Titty Figurine]

Past: "Y'all know the FBI can use the [sic]internet too, right?"

Present: "this place is fucking weird"

Future: "I want this site taken down! I want this site taken down! I want this site taken down! I want this site taken down! And I want it taken down now!"

Ominous.

 

[The Repeated Meme]

Past: “This might seem like a tall order, but maybe avoid homophobic slurs, repeatedly masturbating on stream, and violently threatening children.“
Present: "“GET YOU APRONS”
Future: “DSP is the largest autism magnet in recorded history“

More or less accurate.

 

[Eternal Gopnik]

1. >Pensacola will be cleansed of the Josh vermin<
2. ”Remember, it is Gangster US Supreme Court written High-Holy Law: I'll give it to you to suck! FINISH HIM!
3. “roadkill is literally the worst organic matter to put your dick into“

I don't even understand what the second one is trying to say. Anyway, BRB, going for a drive.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Past: ”Gender neutral bathrooms are a fantastic idea. As a woman who has a beard, I've been angrily confronted for using women's rooms”​

​

Present: “if I can go through Afghanistan and my ex-wife stabbing me, I can handle your autism meltdowns”​

​

Future: “so uhhhh.... i lost my anal virginity”​

I'm not liking what this entails.

 

[SilverRoseChariot]

Past: Revelation 9:6 “And in those days people will seek death and will not find it. They will long to die, but death will flee from them.”

Present: “unironically uses autism as an insult MULTIPLE times throughout the post”

Future: ”The Kiwi Farms's dimwitted contrivances are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of diabolism are blooming all around us.”


Seems pretty on point.

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

I'm rolling again.

Past - ”Should a portion break, put it back together with KrazyGlue.”
Present - ”HATERS TO THE LEFT”
Future - ”Being a kiwifarmer should be an instant death sentence”

Um....

 

[Brain Power]

Past: ”I'll send every government agency at my disposable after you.”
Present: ”Is it a New Zealand forum?”
Future: ”one time i gave a blowjob in a mall bathroom so i could buy yugioh cards”
wat

 

[dfsdsfdsadsa]

mine seems pretty real

Past: "you have been reported I hope the lock your Acct"
Present: “Bob Saget raped and killed a girl in 1990!”
Future: ”oppressive and mean; employing the same censorship tactics as North Korea to continue in their efforts to kick autistics.”

interpretation:
i guess past would be getting banned from a few places and present could be related to me daydreaming about killing serial killers
but future...
i hope not, i don't want to be kicked by censorship or something but i am likely to get canceled at some point in the future