random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[DogZero]

I'm out for a while, I can't participate on a Ralph's thread that has to do with anal sex due to the corn references.
I swore off anal due to a very surreal experience I had with an intact kernel of undigested sweet corn, you could even say the thing was pristine.
The rubber made it less traumatizing... If the Mexican manwhore really did it raw

 

[Poonocchio]

All "trans genocide" literally means in reality is a tranny hearing the word "No."

 

[Hitman One]

My political stance is that I want the public execution of all politicians, billionaires, and jews on live television

 

[Meat Target]

"The toast itself was $14.50 but"

 

[RACISM]

You know, depending on how far into dementia Barb is she might have more sperm cells than brain cells in her RIGHT NOW.

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

Liz gong dong is probably not a good example as his eyes have congregated in the middle of his face to discuss how much of a faggot he is. It is a fair point, but I always thought that most asians don't have eyes that far apart. I might be wrong though.

 

[Pedophobe]

Repeats how the doctors said it was all in her head, then proceeded to be diagnosed with EDS, gastroparesis, MCAS, and POTS.

I don’t think Kiwifarms members can agree on anything long enough to organize a harassment campaign.

Science Again Confirms The Torah

 

[Meiwaku]

"Le sigh"

"May your vitriol be ever bilious, your contempt unblunted by human sentiment"

How can a forum possibly have mods even more autistic than ours?

It breaks my heart there's a website where someone can pine over their desire for a fursuit and the mods respond with anything other than "fag".

The fuck are those threads about

You all need to touch pussy/dick/grass

Listen you ignorant femoids, until you've read The Very Hungry Caterpillar and the complete works of Richard Scarry, you are incapable of engaging with a superior intellect like myself."

 

[Gentlebastard]

There is no "new music" in pop charts; it's all electrified mating calls of subhuman primates.

Every day the world finds new ways of making me want to fedpost.

I just can't get over how ugly that fat Jew is. Like, I've seen a lot of ugly fuckers in my day. But I genuinely think if that was my physique and physiognomy I'd just swallow some pills and call it in. His repulsiveness actually bothers me. He is utterly dysgenic to the point you wonder if eugenics is really such a bad idea after all.

How the fuck do you get to the point in your life where you have to write an essay to justify spending 22 dollars on avocado toast?

They must have suffered a lot of brain damage from huffing second hand farts every day at this point.

You have been instructed, thousands of times, to cease contacting this subconscious. Continuing to do so constitutes felony dream harassment. Do not contact this sleep state again.

Holy shit this retard is still alive?

She didn't talk to me for months after that. The peace and quiet was glorious.

Never thought the government would start killing people with hippie crack but I'm all for it.

Where do all these psycho ideas come from? Just shoot the motherfucker! The firing squad is quick, efficient, it's easy, it just werks. I mean seriously, it's not complicated! Executions have been carried out for thousands and thousands of years. What's next? They'll set up a line of dominoes which, when the first is knocked over, will knock over the rest of the dominoes and which will hit a ball which rolls down a small decline, striking a match and lighting a candle which burns through a rope which held a grand piano above the prisoner, causing the grand piano to fall down and smash him so he during the autopsy his mouth is full of piano keys like long screwed up rows of teeth? What the fuck is wrong with bureaucrats?

Bring back the guillotine ya cowards

Can we just go back to firing squads already?

It is unironically the most humane option, its quick, cheap, clean, efficient, painless, has no failure chance, and above all its dignified.

I think I caught an STD just watching this

The editor they assigned him was dyslexic.
This isn't a joke.
Well, I mean, it is a joke, the idea of an editor for a publisher being dyslexic is a fucking joke, but its the truth, it's actually something rather happened.

Any Doctor who chops off titties for "Gender Affirming Care" should be taken to the Hague and charged with Crimes Against Humanity.

Those are the most autistic images I've ever seen in my life, and not only have I read Sonichu and most of the Chris Chan encyclopaedia, I look in the mirror every fucking morning.

 

[Lithuophile]

Nigger had it coming. Killed by a minecraft modpack lmao what even?

 

[greasyArchivist]

Look I can’t think of another way to say this, a lot of you were gay in the Garfield dark ride.

From a very fun and somewhat disturbing documentary about a historical dark ride turned advertisement turned gay hookup spot.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Oh boy. I can't wait for all the naked girls, guro and religious iconography.

 

[tehpope]

Let's destroy our heritage to save five minutes on our commute - The Chinese(probably)

 

[Return of the Freaker]

If I have to live in a world where Chris is free to fuck the barbussy all he wants consequence free you can deal with us saying barbussy.

 

[Autistic Joe]

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, a Nigerian surgeon. Over my esteemed career, I have operated on many ladies and gentlemen of the trans persuasion, and assisted them to be happy, fertile husbands and wives.

I have also accumulated pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can provide many more vaginas and penises to unfortunate Americans such as your good self. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course. We will also craft you a new set of genitals to the highest specifications.

God bless you

Dr. Bakare Tunde

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

Well before I answer this I need to know how you feel about pubic hair on ladies of questionable morals and intelligence.

 

[prolapsed_cranium]

I want to go back to the day when Satanists were a bunch of Hitler worshipping Fascist weirdos and not a bunch of overweight polyamory enthusiasts with the same politics as your company's HR department.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Koi Kaze is the only incest anime I can ever recommend simply because it treats the subject matter seriously, and it was a pretty good drama.

 

[JambledUpWords]

In our culture white cucks like you submit to our black dicks.....

 

[Aunt Carol]

She was finishing her masters in piano performance and preparing to audition for a doctoral program and there was an active shooter/suicide situation on campus while she was recovering from an eating disorder. This new school shooting makes her remember all that, and that is why she gets to bring the horse to walmart.

Man if you have a fear of cats so bad you have to be warned of even a photo of them or you will have some kind of psychiatric event, the internet is not the place for you.