random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Found out some time ago that youtube is much more enjoyable if you use it the boomer way as a pseudo archive for older shows, 144px music videos, and those candid 15 second clips of drunk fights

I thought there would at least be something to make fun of here, but instead it is like walking into a bathroom stall and seeing the cocaine fueled ravings of an insane hobo scrawled in the wall with feces.

Sure its terrible, but it is mostly just confusing.

Never disabling my adblock faggot nor am I going to buy your useless shit

I shudder at the thought of what that red panda plushie has been through

The modern day American Negro is a byproduct of a female slave being impregnated by her Jewish masters... it's been a disaster for the human race

Nigga you sound like Linus Tech Tips: a Canadian man who thinks he's a dashing badass 0wning the republitardz because he has an Asian wife who wears the pants in the household.

Many years ago in high school, a very nice mixed kid (white/black) told me his mom is a fat white women, they live in a trailer and his dad was nowhere to be found. He knew he was a stereotype and I felt bad for him.

Its not like I go to the shop and say "oh, do you have any semi skimmed milk please, also the holocaust is mostly a fabrication. No not skimmed, semi".

I don't think men who jerk off to fictional space alien chicks do so out of political convictions.

Of course, if you peruse any gallery of antifa mugshots, you will find at least five men with Himmler haircuts, so the aesthetic of authoritarianism has at least a subconscious hold on them as a subculture.

Find yourself a girl that can face-tank burning aerosolized gasoline with her chin harder than Jay Leno

That's just sad, I remember back in the day when he was a fresh faced boy being poached by a mentally retarded cougar who wanted to take him on a world cruise, how times have changed.

That's just sad, I remember back in the day when he was a fresh faced boy being poached by a mentally retarded cougar who wanted to take him on a world cruise, how times have changed.
She could have been yours, Andy. All yours. She may be fuck ugly and have an extra chromosome but at least she'd let you finish and wouldn't complain about the smell of your balls

"I was terrified I might lose my favourite nipple"

Man why are half gay niggas so unabashed about their kinks?

Wave o' babies? Just give me a surfboard

Truly, my soul would be better off if I could just forget the “red pill.”

Not bad, but I really need to know why Americans think watching Harry & Meghan is far more important than Wednesday Addams and Sonic. That right there is just insane to me.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

He has an eternity of baking ahead of him, these lazy retards sanctioned by the lazy retard state didn't need to give him a head start.

 

[Fomo Hoire]

I do not see "baked to death" on the list of approved execution methods.

 

[Frostnipped Todger]

If you go to any place simply looking for tits and ass, stumbling into a buttplugged midget peeing on a furry who's trying to blow a horse comes with the territory.

 

[Spud]

I'm unreasonably upset that Stitch has a horse dick

As a swastika enthusiast, I can confirm that that is definitely a Nazi swastika.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I would buy a sex doll with my face on it, btw.

I get it but I don't. So they gonna provide for the albino the downie the retard the dyke and the village?

I eagerly await the day a presidential candidate/other high power players has to resign because they said "Guacamole nigga penis" once on Twatter when they were 13.

You know we will find out where you live, and then I will send you a free bible?

It's always good to open your article about men whose advice you should take seriously with "he's a male feminist with autism."

It does matter; seal rape is an extremely serious issue.

Pfizer's miraculous new treatment for diabetes: the insulin dildo

"Florida Man High on Bath Salts Fights Off 6 Officers While Masturbating" is a tale as old as time, and universally relatable.

Also fat people who fuck have problems.

 

[Cats]

 

[Coelacanth]

I dunno. I just have a boner for the big bellies and stretched and puffy vaginas.

 

[stupid frog]

This whole video looks like what happens when you reach the end of a game of Civilization and neither side bothered to research military tech.

 

[FluffyJackal]

There is no way to de-niggify Twitter. It is literally a nigger.

 

[speedweed]

When I first saw this, I wondered how two kids got ahold of a pistol with a drum mag, but then I remembered-they're black.

"Three chimps were shot dead by local staff, while the fourth was wounded."

Well yeah, you don't monkey around in a situation like that.

 

[Table Country]

Hey Fat Rick, did you know you have feet?

"No, child. I don't. If I did, I'd see them when I look down."

Apparently Utada Hikaru, who did the theme song for Kingdom Hearts, came out as a non-binary they/them recently. Possibly the first Japanese woman to pull that stunt. People used to wonder why her mom killed herself. People no longer wonder that.

can't say addicted, I have to devoted? Okay... "Hunter Biden is devoted to meth".

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

So when the Nazis put jews in the ovens did they got hard??

 

[Meat Target]

Yes but does that account for their spiritual obesity?

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Guys she said it.

J.K. Rowling just told a tranny to cope and seethe.

 

[Preacher ✝]

Luke 12:2 For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed: nor hidden, that shall not be known.

 

[Meat Target]

As a counterpoint, I wish to cite early 2000's Internet discussion: Whoever thought of this is a nazi anus faggot gimp butt-munching donkey-dong-sucking fuck fuckety fuck that should be shot and anally raped by a T-Rex.

"You should seek Canadian healthcare, NOW!"

 

[KiwiFuzz]

All I want for Christmas is for the rest of the prophecy to be fulfilled.

Dicks out for Tiehm's buckwheat!

My brother in Christ, what do you mean by "fun"?

I'm also slightly drunk and might be full of shit. No one knows.

1. Initial Shock
2. Disgust Addiction
3. Indescribable Rage
4. Existential Dread
5. Tranquil Misanthropy

"Hey Timmy! How come your mom lets you have two buttholes?"

 

[Cherry Eyed Hamster]

I wish Andy Kaufman was around to see this.

Is her arm sausage resting on top of her pubes ? Have these girls ever seen a male body in real life ?

 

[Cyclonus]

Kiwi Farms is like if Nietzche stared into the abyss and the abyss stared back then called him a faggot.