random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I don't know, coming here to do PR shit is kind of like standing in front of a moving train loaded with tons of bricks and expecting to stop it while it's going at 100 miles per hour.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

You can get off without a dead body, I promise.

 

[Hitman One]

What's hilarious is that the Twitter mob is trying to fuck over Chapelle and Netflix when he explicitly said:

View attachment 2629824

Guy's made his cash and so has Netflix, they don't give a fuck

 

[Flim Flam]

In retrospect, it was pretty fucking dumb to expect even a shred of sanity from a bunch of guys in dresses who larp as the shortbus A-team

 

[TaintNothin']

"Fuck the police. Start the revolution. Full space automated gay luxury communism is mankind's only hope." - Phil (TransLifeline)

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Just fucking post the goddamn picture as an attached image for fuck's sake or fuck off.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

 

[Cryonic Haunted Bullets]

It's great that she's prioritized her child's needs over her ex's evident creepy desire for a 24/7 racialized ddlg and pet play fetish lifestyle, but her ongoing preoccupation with being an internet personality is concerning.

 

[Blackhole]

Could you imagine Nick Bate in India?

Ah yes, safety nets to ensure nothing goes wrong during crucial iPhone production step of leaping off the roof

Cookie Run fans shut the fuck up about sexuality/gender challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

You want some real fun? Message posters from r/gangstalking with random alpha-numeric codes. It really brings the schizo out.

>Stick your peepee in a fuck-ton of women
>Decide NOT to clean your peepee
>Wind up getting sick from easily-treated peepee condition

2008 called, they want their meme back

Anyone involved with the creation of the federal reserve should be dug up, atomized, and then their ashes pissed on. Every relative of theirs should be raped and skinned alive.

Um, no sweetie. That’s not what the Science says. Get the jab.

My God. They're now forcing people to BREATHE 5G.

"Today in Politics, the Speaker of the House told the House Minority leader and I quote...to go suck Null's dick"

"I'm speaking!"
"You can speak to deez nuts!"

"President Joshua Moon disbanded the CIA today, when asked why he said:
"I told the motherfuckers over and over again how to do a Starter post on a LOLCOW and they just kept handing me 50 page reports...they didn't archive a single thing."

"The representative from New York motions to label these proceedings gay and unrealistic."

"House representatives today voted on a resolution condemning the Chinese government guilty of organising 'gay ops' across the internet"

"The congresswoman said,and i quote: "Xi Xinping is fat and i would not have sex with him."

 

[KiwiFuzz]

We're running out of reasons to feel better than the Chinese really fast.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

This thread is fisting the ass of truth with the hand of facts.

Honestly I’d get the vax if it means we’re allowed to euthanize all the fat people (in Minecraft).

 

[SCSI]

I'm detecting a great amount of Necrophobia in this thread bigots.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

None of what was quoted here is normal.

Weaponising autism should be considered a war crime under the Geneva Conventions.

 

[The Un-Clit]

@AnOminous said:

people here can go all Siamese fighting fish at the drop of a hat

Quoted for truth rather then funnay, because it's the truest thing said here all month.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

He's Mr. Clean's AIDS-ridden evil twin, Mr. Contamination.

Matt did a cam show, where he cried for 15 minutes about how Zeb gave him some diseases from rimming him, and more sobbing about his fanbase. After crying and bitching he whacked off for his fans.

Man, being gay porn I had hoped it would be something fabulous like some gay-pornos getting coked up and murdering the owner of a studio so they can steal his number one underage star twink.

Overdosing on Heroin isn't the show?

Too many fat lolcows on this thread. My eyes are fucked

I saw one of those "Shit Porn Stars Say" vids where she talked about wanting to bang her mom. Besides that she seems nice though.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Just legalise it everywhere for Christ's sake and let's stop this madness.

Reefer madness was 100% right

Weed thread in A&N. Feels like I’m back in 2010 reading about whether it should be legalized or not. Quite fun and several copypasta-tier textwalls.

 

[DerKryptid]

Hi Mr. Ween Kebab, please put on your favorite vest, jump into the nearest dumpster and slam the boom button.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Those at it again…

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I mean there’s faking orgasm and then there’s faking you like fucking old, fat dudes who put you in a half-nelson

I learn the most fascinating things about foreign cultures from Kiwi Farms.

 

[Aunt Carol]

If they had removed the organs and filled the sleeping bag with salt and baking soda, it probably would have been a fairly decent mummification.