random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Skitarii]

For the last time
Ryu. Is. Not. Gay.
And he will never be gay.
He is fucking chun-li and every sexy girls.

I'm not a lolcow

 

['Ol Stinky]

"The refund is a little out of my price range"
"Dude fuckin leave me alone I'm autistic"
"For fucks sake, one of my fans sent me a FUCKIN SUBWAY SANDWICH, AND I LET THE FUCKER EAT IT!"
"put that in your nascar and call it oil"

All from KingCobraJFS.

 

[Gamercat]

i love reddit i love kiwifarms i love all forums - https://twitter.com/femcelpilled/status/1520417943078813698

Modern "lolcows" are just people who make cringy tiktoks and get a kiwifarms thread on them - https://twitter.com/fruitdotzip/status/1520231364972269569

I’m genuinely having fun laughing at how bad these KiwiFarms incel types exist - https://twitter.com/sazarah_/status/1520158140402184193

These KiwiFarms creeps are so amusing to taunt - https://twitter.com/sazarah_/status/1520149546826977281

looking up "kiwifarms" on twitter yields some funny results

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

Not to tout my own horn but this is probably the most spiciest thing I ever said on here.

Honestly the only thing that the jan 6th boomers did that was wrong was that they didn't commit a massacre of the politicians inside the building.

 

[John Furrman]

From the keffles thread



From ripley thread

 

[Punished Brent]

“IF I SHIT MYSELF I WOULD TELL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!”

 

[Shitty User Stole a Good Name]

I've been neglecting this thread for a bit but I want some more random quotes. Submit some favorites.

What I'm looking for:
- Couple sentences max.
- Is interesting out of context, optimally begs a question.
- Not a quote from me.
- Links to thread where it originates is a huge bonus.

Does not have to reference the Kiwi Farms.

not your personal army you fucking dweeb

edit: Nool is mad

 

[Fenrir Ratatoskr]

"The child eats less food, you can have sex with them all you want, and there's no babies, so you have a long-term relationship without having babies" - Pamperchu talking about pedophile evolution in the ice age.

 

[Socrates]

View attachment 3174703View attachment 3174695

 

[Double Dee]

What am I going to have to form a LLC just to stay anonymous so I can I call journos faggots without losing my job?

From the Musk Twitter thread.

Sucks we can't use your quotes, though, your summary of Russell vs. Erika always makes me giggle.

 

[Akashic Retard]

Patrick S Tomlinson:

She told me that she had never loved me, had never been attracted to me, didn’t respect me, and didn’t trust me. It was a lie, of course.

 

[Rose Breeder]

'If i ever had a girlfriend i'd just be like Here's some knitting needles go play in the corner i need to play Minecraft right now'

- Nick Fuentes

 

[Meat Target]

I will repost what I consider the Greatest Hits of random_text.txt.

I just had to google "how to get mayonnaise out of a phone charging port".

Plagues never kill the right people.

Can I like, just skip to the part where I confess with my tongue that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and get beheaded already? Would rather not endure the bullshit to come.

but continue to be smug about where Libya is technically located, anime avatar

If the internet sent me flowers I'd call it a faggot

All French translates into "I am gay, I gargle wangs.

God I hate your PFP. If I saw someone making that face in public I would literally kill them. That's probably why you picked it.

He's pretty lazy then because he hasn't even attempted to blow up a single elementary school in Jersh's name.

He has a face only the claw end of a hammer would love.

I have no idea what caused this complete and utter spergery, but maybe you should stop ranting about Scientologists and take your fucking meds.

Normal adult people think "going to Disneyland while sick" is a circle of hell, not an aspiration.

How are you going to cleanse the world of Al-Incel when you can't even clean your own teeth?

Do you have access to a glass table and a bottle of hot sauce? The trick is finding a willing midget.

Also straight liquor is not a proper substitue for water when cooking noodles

"Cut off my dick, or the rest of my body gets it!"

I didnt know opium made you immortal

 

[Ichiban Kasuga]

I gotta throw my favorite puppychan tweet in the ring here.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/autumn...48-puppkittyfan1.70438/page-367#post-10755065

 

[I'm Not Racist Anymore]

Not from lolcow per se, but these were old quotes from the old Mati Discord server that is no longer with us.

 

[Gamercat]

Jokes on her, I'm fucking attractive and can draw better than her traditionally. I can even draw asses better than her too and it's an inherited trait.

from @Cheerlead-in-Chief

 

[Batshit]

The 2 I like from my usual schitzocow @DanaMarieCain are:

I flagged that sandwich!

&

I've got trolls, Joel!

 

[Meat Target]

Just go fucking watch hentai like a normal person.

How many tarantulas can fit in a dead hooker's asshole."

"Is throwing a tarantula on a bank teller considered assault?"

 

[Kier]

My thread is out of PG, so I will throw my hat in the ring.

"I cant speak for anyone else, but I'll say a large part of why I wasn't more diligent than I should have been is that he, probably unintentionally, projected the image of being a low-IQ social retard"

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/super-mario-wiki-supermarioboards-niwa-wiki-community.117617/

 

[🔪Cold Steel Brand Rep🔪]

Everything I have ever said is incredible, you're welcome for being here