random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Norman B. Normal]

"'kiwifarms hasn't helped.... they sent me flowers. they invaded my privacy and sent me flowers." (In context it's even worse.)

 

[Pizdec]

My name is Andrew Blanchard and I'm a Jizz Wall Wiper.

Sauce

 

[NerdShamer]

Fucking fine. You wonder why I am stuck at home. I am under house arrest after all the shit I did. I have 3 therapists I see every day I am forced to see them and I want to anyways.. I can't leave my home or my tag goes off and I will get thrown in. It sucks and it's all my own fucking fault.

 

[PhoBingas]

@RickestRickCriminal "yes, and I want to sleep but Ralph keeps threatening people."

 

[Rockafire Ass Explosion]

"Our client does not endorse or glamorize suicide or death nor does she encourage individuals ever to kill themselves."

 

[Two Dollars]

Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

I like it when they post cringey Garfield porn.

Farts and crafts

Oh lawdy, his ballsack looks like when you leave a tomato on the counter for too long and it starts to melt and get all wrinkly.

Warhammer is already fucking autistic as hell but this loser made it even more so with this stupid butt stuff garbage.

I probably shouldn't ask this, but did he wash those Sharpies when he was done with them?

I mean, it's not that I HATE women, but a vagina ate Boba Fett and I've never really gotten over that.

Karaoke is the cure for inceldom?

I think that "He enjoyed putting things in his butt" is a great epitaph.

ARE U A 300LB GOON? NO? BETTER THAN THE GUY SHES WITH THATS TRYING TO INTIMIDATE ME CURRENTLY

also id destroy u in a tribes or quake 1v1

we can duel or 1v1 for names if u like

Every prolific person on kiwifarms is involved in gay ops at some point. It’s almost like this place is a breeding ground for autists

I bet they needed scuba equipment and a decompression chamber just to give him a bj

There's MOUNTAINS of evidence available on his moral failings, lack of neurons, and abundance of chromosomes

Biggest clit in the game.

Ironic that they live in Blackville LOL

YOU GUYS FINALLY DID IT YOU CAUGHT ME BEING PERVERTED ON TWITTER HOLY FUCK MY LIFE IS OVER IDK WHAT TO DO NOW LOL FUKIN KILL URSELVES ROFL

 

[Clint's Burden]

"Well, that's Rick Ross for ya."

 

[I am vomit]

I'm not sure if i'm more distressed that he's male or that he's non-hispanic

 

[Blackhole]

Back to our regularly scheduled Tard Baby Talk.

If disabled babies are gifts from God, they should be returned to sender.

"We thought we'd compound your complete lack of dignity with a giant inflatable penis."

If you're going to shove coathangers up your coochie in the first place, then maybe it's just nature taking it's course for the both of you.

Congrats on getting 1st place for the Stupid Ass Bitch Award

You people marking "informative" on my baby-smothering post are going to land yourselves on some glowie watchlist.

 

[SevenEightNine]

Just go back to Florida, wrestle a small gator, and buy a handgun, retard. You can do all that in less than two days.

 

[Chi-com Soldier]

I don't know, her butt not being covered in centipedes seems like a good standard.

This is why Abortion should be made illegal and also mandatory.

 

[i forgot my password]

"tw// food
/
pups gotta eat"

"I am not dating [her], I am married to her. Also, she does not like beastiality. We have had extensive conversations about the harm of it."

"it's not healthy to indulge in hate sites for weird revenge on someone you don't know hurting people for fun is really not good"

"Stans: A group of people trying to meet other people with similar interests while expressing this interest through shared morals, love, and creativity."

"I have a theory. Fried chicken makes people violent."

"got niggas asking "is you gay?""

"Firstly, the venn diagram of fash and kiwi-farms users is essentially a circle."

 

[Chongqing]

I made most of my life decisions in a gym locker room. I stand by them.

 

[CohenManischewitz]

 

[7.62x38mmR]

"I swear to God you’re very close to being allowed to hit women again as a society"
"I have about a hundred 80s punk records in my collection with depictions of Reagan and Thatcher being murdered."
"is balls above wang a rank in aussie boyscouts ?"

 

[Wallace]

For example, because I lost my virginity in the Serial Killer Hall Of Fame Wax Museum, I now see it v. differently than you do.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

ethan ralph romance novel when

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Some translated quotes from epic russian skitzo incel Nikita Kapernaumov.

"i will take revenge on this fucking humanity for what i dreamed about this all my life and some one does it while i only jrekoff to this. whos giong(to take revenge or who needs money)? drap me a PM, aye have a lot of money, but im dissabled and cant buy".

"lookin for a portner to go hard after girls IRL

eef there are coomers like me on my page from saints petersburg and someone has an idea how to find sluts, maybe some collective ways IRL(cant approach sloot on the street and cant start askingfor sex, need a partner if someone tries to defend in a case of a rumble with slut defenders), contact me i am ready to partner. i cant take it anymore
i am online all the time on the mail nikitaheartbrokengmailcom

i will explain for the bloont ones why am i so agresive, call girls slut etecetera. cuz you all sluts are alien to me and enemies bi default. to my mother i can talk just fine and still not all the time (van she at home and i cant jerk off i start cursing her too bitch) and wiz you aleen sluts, all ov you who dont think that its fucked up to spent your youth without cunnilingus and kisses while the mojority of the people had those - with peaple like you i am angry and agresive by deafoult. those of you who dont think my situation is fucked up, meens you are impotent or sluts or you jawst lack the ability to feel sorry for yourself and imagine yourself as someone else. those i am ready to kill if you happen on my way"

"This is for gorls wheech i wryht to... what the fucking shit next disappers from the post... Naw i ll colpy this to the comentt

forgot interesting option, i promoted it on my other pages.. in short i sent in front of you money(adequate) to those tadpoles. and you give me a fuck or other types of intimacy/ this way you help those kids and me. but most impotatnly you need to want it so pussy is wet and etc. dry and especially for the money, hooker variant - do not want. i can only send it somewhere to the third parties for exemple. looks fyne to me, if you are okee and wont to help children and also not from your own pocket but from the pocket of nasty entertainer. other way they lay down and lose in value and i wont give it to anyone. i lost 80k yesterday."

"tell me do i have a chance to suck dicks for 500 rub a blow? imean i am not gay i only interested in money. many homos contacted me before but only when i was younger. i posted some ads yesterday to some places but no hype for some reason.yeah and i check other ads and see that others suck for free. but taking into account that homos contacted me i thought there is a lack of passive homos and i could make some money on tish. but maybe i am wrong. i am interested in your opinion can i become a hooker? but i'll suck only with a condom."

- Why won't you fuck your momma, smartass?
- you fuck that old ugly piece of shit
- Prove that she is ugly.
- for free i only tap my keyboard. and still not allwheyz
- Nice bite, Nick! Ok, keep on rotting)

"HERE IS ON VIDEEO IS A MOMENT OF ME FINDING A BOYFRIEND OF MY PRECIOUS DASHA WHICH I'VE BEEN EELL WITH FOR 7 YEAR ALL MY YOUHT I LOOL AT HER AND HE FUCKS HER AND SHIEE IS ON INSTAGRAM WROTES THAT WANTS TO MEET HEEM!!!! MUY LOVELY DASHA

AND ALSO I AM A LOLCOW AND A SLAVE!!!! I CAN CHEW SHIT ON CAMERA FOR 500 RUB JSUT. CAUSE I AM HOPELESS COMPLETELY"

No need to translate this one.

All of the ads that he posted on russian imageboards, already translated.

More here.

Spoiler

"right after mom took away the pacifier I took it too emotionally and everything went sideways. i didn't fit the society, always cried. always fought and cried again. i've been having love obsessions over girls since i was three. mother tried to threaten me with an enema - now I've been jerking off with a cucumber up my ass for all my life, women's pussy doesn't turn me on (but i'm not gay or anything)".

"I HATE YOUR FUCKING DVACH ALL YOUR FUCKING DUMP HERE. I AM FROM INTELLIGENT FAMILY I FUCKING SHOULDN'T HAVE ENDED UP HERE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM HERE ONLY CUZ NOSEX!!!!!"

"And by the way I've still left a bag of shit somewhere in those bushes. Find it and reincarnate me with my DNA."

"I DON'T WANT WAR!!!!! I WANT TO FUCK WITH THE GIRL OF MY AGE IN MY YOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN 2010-2020!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"only if I(nikita kapernaumov) had a psyche of kadyrov, only in that case I would be able to fuck a girl in her pussy and i myself wouldn't need a cucumber up my ass to cum"

No translation needed.

"JERKING OFF IN SHIT CUZ NO SEX (ALL YOUTH HAS PASSED AND I'VE NEVER FUCKED, EVEN THOUGH I LIVED IN MY YOUTH ONLY TO FUKC"

"KIWIFARMS BULLYING A 29-YO INCEL LOLCOW TO FUCKING SUICIDE!!! SUKA BLYAT THEY TURNED MY LIFE TO HELL"

https://no-cookie.kiwifarms.net/data/video/2854/2854058-e0fe0c1b2097b6d171f54e94a9715e4a.mp4

"GIVE ME A FUCK!!! GIVE ME A FUCK!!! A DIRTY FUCK!!! OOPS! _ LOOKING FOR A FEMALE PERV TILL CHRISTMAS"

https://no-cookie.kiwifarms.net/data/video/2854/2854065-83edc3266a7ca81dd830282abddcd149.mp4

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

I miss the onion dispenser and combo pizza.