random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Meiwaku]

imagine thinking you're winning an argument with 'twitter ratios' and calling someone a TERF when you literally shit in a bag because you fucked up your genitals.

*posts video clip of me fucking a horse cock dildo in lieu of a resume* I'm a motivated self starter,

>piss in your employer's bathtub on main
>be unemployable
>blame others

I pissed off of a diving board into a pool full of people to make a point about why it's not okay to piss in the pool.

 

[whore loving dragon]

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I was considering a vasectomy down the line, but I'll just not have sex. I don't want children. This article frames such a procedure as a movement or protest.

We're all autists here so I don't think avoiding sex will be a serious challenge.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Ew it's got creases and a fucking fold, but yeah it's totally the same as a real penis.

 

[Ophelia]

Make sure to get a close up of the pony in the northeast downstairs window.

 

[SCSI]

@Mr Bunny on animal rights (other animal avatar Kiwis need to step up their game, Team Bunny is winning the random.txt race!):

I'm a rabbit, we're vegetarians. We enslave other animals, not eat them.

As I'm reading this, I regret not being fatter and/or richer.

@Ebonic Tutor weighs in on the intersection between homosexuality and the culinary arts:

If you fucked up I'm going to eat you alive.
Not the pelvis area tho, that's gay as fuck

Their countenance does not spark joy in their pants.

 

[Oliver Onions]

We finally found a use for black women besides being syrup bottles and Worldstar Hip Hop material.

 

[TheBigTakeover]

"I haven't been the same since I sucked his dick." -IP2

 

[Jack Awful]

Cyber war has damaged me.

 

[Hitman One]

"... Joshua Moon operates a website whose users take amusement in the pain - and ongoing harassment - of disabled persons. Mr Moon's website [...] is dedicated to this very purpose"

Sauce:

Fair play. I did read your post (obvs); my question was more rhetorical than anything.

Seriously though, thanks again for your service. Get some sleep! (idk what time it is where you are, but it's obviously getting a bit late)

Back on topic... here we go...

View attachment 3438606

This'll be good.

 

[Law]

Are YOU autistic too? Are YOU on drugs?

 

[Aunt Carol]

And fuck, who knows. Maybe 13 years old can handle watching chicks get plowed by three huge dicks at one time.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

They suck at beheading. They need to talk to Cartel killers or sand-niggers for pointers on how to cut a head off with a pocket-knife on the one hand or a big-ass scimitar on the other.

Anyone who wears pants above their belly button like that deserves to be beheaded.

Sounds like it happened somewhere in Spics-ville, in which case it's entirely possible, if not very likely, he was simply retarded.

"Monty never misses". Yeah I'm sorry but I think Monty missed out on divorcing his wife for that fucking cat of hers.

 

[JustSomeDong]

We've all been there. It's Friday and you are having the time of your life with the boys, you hit a few bars, get in a fight, then hit a few more...

And when you wake up, you're lying on somebody's lawn, the sun is rising, you've got the mother of all headaches, but the worst of all?

Putin shat in your pants.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

With a Trumpian smile,
he's no media slave,
this kong spits on
every tranny grave.

 

[Spunt]

The worst part of this was that there probably was no other way for them to remove all of those maggots, they had to slice the dick open.

The context is every bit as bad as it sounds.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Ah, so you're very familiar with the word "nigger."

 

[Haffhart]

bitches used to put out for everyone under the top 10 percent of Chads, now? theyre frigid bitches! thats why i was cracking up when they were talking about a sex strike mad cause they cant abort their little niglets.... like as if you bitches put out anyway

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Trying to bond with someone while having a panic attack isn't really that sexy it turns out.

 

[stupid frog]

Anyone wanna start a "Do you like to discuss the size of your cock with friends" thread?