random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Fuck got ninja'd by Bananan Hamock

 

[Baraadmirer]

"I suck dick for cock"

—Rioley​

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Have you ever actually physically seen the Earth's curvature or stood on a tall mountain to survey everything around you? Shit feels different when you're that high up, things seem petty and insignificant in the face of nature and the realization of how it dwarfs us.

I'd probably think something along the lines of "imagine how much beautiful and peaceful the world would have been without niggers"

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

This one gave me a grin;

Does that make him our...Julian Sausage

 

[PaladinBoo]

From the Riley Ravioli thread.

Faggot! And you know what? I suck dick for cock! Alright? I suck dick for cock!
[bystander, clapping: "SUCK DICK FOR COOOOOCK! WOO!"]
And what do you do, a tech job? Hey!
[other guy: "don't fuckin hit me, fucking going around..."]
PRESSING CHARGES! PRESSING CHARGES! PRESSING CHARGES! PRESSING CHARGES! Hey! You attackin disabled trans people... person... err... PIECE OF SHIT! YOU SHOULD be BANNED! [starts scooting ass along ground] COME AND GET ME BITCH! COME AND GET ME BITCH! YOU FAGGOT! COME AND GET ME! GAAAAH!

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

He made Mike Stoklasa cry I hope he burns in hell.

 

[PhoBingas]

WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAAACE

 

[KiwiFuzz]

First they came for the tomboys, and I did not speak out—because I was not a tomboy...

People have no reading comprehension

i'm done here.
nobody has balls or vision

This is not a damn video game.
It is war.

 

[Neko GF]

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

This dude looks like Roy Orbison if Roy was an insane tranny.

 

[Haffhart]

The DDoS is coming from inside the house!

 

[Sprate Header]

Hey look! It made your dick fall off, that tells you this is the good stuff

 

[Cyclonus]

Left-handed people are the niggers of holding things.

 

[Table Country]

There’s also a more recent video where he’s at a bar and gets into an argument with some guy and he literally just grabs the guys cock out of his pants and aggressively jerks him off against his will.

Ah, the Don Lemon maneuver.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Diabetes is a Jewish conspiracy.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Looks like blackface is back on the menu!

I am so, so sorry to have to tell y'all what's going on in the VeggieTales fandom today.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

 

[Haramburger]

I love the whole post, but I keep thinking about how well this part is written:

I'm one of the lucky ones, I was online typing out the YWNBAW copypasta to email to another talented and successful transwoman I'm jealous of when I noticed my avatar change to a little chinese girl pedophile logo.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Rugby players do often suffer smashed teeth, knee issues, bites in the back of the head, torn ears, and if they belong to a particularly boisterous club, alcohol poisoning, hypothermia from wearing nothing but a thin flowery dress and a pair of plastic tits, plus rectal prolapse when they pass out face first and have bottles put in their bottoms.

 

[Mr Bunny]

"AIDS didn't stop us, monkeypox didn't stop us, war won't stop us! Wherever we go, we must gloryhole!"