random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

C'mon Sleazy, you gotta post one of the excerpts to hook them if you want them to even bother clicking on the link in my post to see what it is.
"To paraphrase Foucault, Wreck-It Ralph is like a prison." is easily the most quotable but “Actually, you won’t need pants to get out of here!” and "maybe he has a really really small penis? Could be good for character building stuff" I could definitely imagine up there every time I refresh as well.

Man, the whole thing is a randomtxt quote as far as I'm concerned. It's been a bit since I've audibly cackled like that reading something.

 

[Big Al's Famous Pork]

" He got kicked out of the UK for domestic violence and tried to stay using the defence he knew the secret to the philosophers stone"
@Popper Whiting
You did it bud. Didn't even have to condense.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I've figured it out, this nudist fellow is a neccessary sacrifice to prime the population. Now they have the perfect cover for whoever they really do need to take care of. All someone needs to do is get a giant dildo to use as a club and just scream "HAMMER TIME! HAMMER TIME! HAMMER TIME!" like a maniac. It doesn't matter who orders it or what the motivation is.

radicalized by GamerGate

 

[Cats]

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

 

[Pitbull Victim]

Every day I learn something that I was better off not knowing

It's not tranny shit. It's weird Japanese shit. A Futa is a woman who happens to also have a penis. All of her woman stuff is woman stuff from birth, but she also has a penis and there is one question. Balls or no balls. I'm a no balls guy. When I'm eating the pussy of a QT futa I don't want a ball sack dangling on my nose. Nick Reiketa seems to be into that though. Futabu is a no balls hentai. Check it out. It's actually pretty hot.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I have said it before and I will say it again: I am a genuine misogynist and even I don't like how troons treat women. I just want women to shut up and disappear, I don't want them raped and mutilated.

 

[ASeabear8952]

 

[Aunt Carol]

Man, I like anime, but more and more it seems to be fucking with people's heads.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Jannies don't come here. They know better.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

The fact that John Cena stops a boulder from crushing the mystery gang while his theme blares in the background is a real, unedited scene escalates that movie's quality immensely.

Leave Dr. Seuss alone you evil fucks.

It would be ten times as autistic as the other -gates.

I think it's good that they're teaching kids to be afraid of nickelodeon. not being afraid of nickelodeon means getting molested by a foot fetishist.

Also just because I'm here, fuck you fag. You may even actually be right, but still fuck you, you goddamn jackoff.

Poor Stephen Hillenburg. They'll never stop milking his sponge...

I can't help but wonder if all the fetish art on the Internet has poisoned everyone's brains so that we can't look anywhere without seeing fetishes.

I'm a fag. I didn't suddenly gain superpowers or win the lottery when I realized that I swung both ways

domo arigato for the salt, Miyamoto-san

When I first saw this, I wondered how two kids got ahold of a pistol with a drum mag, but then I remembered-they're black.

Imma go watch "funkytown" to lighten the mood, that was horrific.

people are so easy to maim and apparently so hard to kill

I'm not sure if this is cringetarded or metal.

I think your toxoplasmosis has addled your brain

In celebration of your important milestone, your government has sent you [LAUDATORY PRAISE FORM 75-G: ADOPTION OF CHILD]. Remember to pay your taxes!

Been dating two years and she's never met him, doesn't know how old he is, what he looks like, his name, and he won't even say he loves her...

Because of this thread, for the first time in a long time, I spent the afternoon reading bizarre, fucked up, illegal Japanese porn. Haven't done that in years.

here is my favorite one which is a crossover between Touhou and Ghost Busters, where Yuyuko becomes a giant and attacks Ghostbusters city, in which Dough Walker and AVGN lives.

A true dramatic acting showcase turned into a garbage meme. Pathetic.

A shadowy quintillionaire in a secret compound is sick and tired of seeing and hearing egregious faggots everywhere.

I thought that was a Vinesauce meme.

 

[Jewthulhu]

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Race mixing is based if the man is white

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

 

[Return of the Freaker]

The 1,000 cock stare. Twinkle twinkle little whore you're cheaper than the dollar store.

Gantt chart disrespecters get out.

 

[Stabmaster Arson II]

Thank God for the Internet. They're trying to blatantly gaslight us, but at least now we can find out the truth. We have at least a chance to not buy into the bullshit, something previous generations did not.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

"what if you can't pee straight after The Surgery?"
"haha I piss myself"

 

[Meat Target]

Hey, not all lizard people fuck children. Don’t tar lizard people like me, a plain, simple tailor, with Hollywood pedos.

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

He colonized the Internet and is now persecuting its indigenous shitposters.

You will never be a real CTO. You have no accomplishments, you have no authority, you have no credentials. You are a low level salesman twisted by affirmative action and office politics into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection. All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your lack of tech skills behind closed doors.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

People calling you a nigger online are not a threat to safety you fucking pussies